The river once again echoed,
Its pain none understood.
Lost in their work,
So busy they were.
'Please Stop' the river echoed,
'Release in the river' factories continued.
And every piece that lingered down,
Almost closed the river path.
On and on they continued,
Even in the darkest of the night.
Black it turned; lost it's beauty,
and looked more creepy.
Disturbed and shattered,
Continued it's way.
Every tear that dropped,
Turned the river stronger.
And so it continued it's way,
Regained it's beauty.
And the attractive color,
So happy was it now.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,025 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
This is beautiful. I think it's slightly rough around the edges, but previous reviewers have caught everything I think you ought to look at. And I definitely wouldn't want you changing it too much! Your style here is lovely and unique and it's important to keep that. I love this tale about the river; I love rivers and water and this poem touched home a little. Thanks for the great read!
Thnk U SO Much!
I love the way you have played around with the syntax in your work, such as: 'So happy was it now.' That's a really interesting take on a traditional style. The narrative moves quickly and you have structured your ideas with each stanza. Well done, a really thought provoking poem.
Thnkx Alot."=
I'm bbbbaaaacccckkkk! You might end up regretting asking me to review for you, since now you won't be able to get rid of me.
I thought that you did very good on this one, just like you always do.
The content of this work was very honest, and unfortunately true. To many people do not listen to the river cry out when she needs help.
There were a few things that I think that you can work on, however.
With the apostrophe, this means, "It is pain none understood". You need to remove the apostrophe.
Since this is the start of a new sentence, you need to capitalize the first letter of the first word.
Who are you speaking of in this stanza, the factories or the river? It's extremely unclear.
I liked this one, I liked it a lot. You're a really good writer.
No I am not getting rid of you. I like the way you review stuff. Okay I will change that and that stanza first two lines refer to the factories and next two lines to the river. Its clear . I am sure about that.
Thanks a lot anyways!
Very nice poem indeed, is it based on the river Thames by any chance? It's just that the last stanza reminded me of it, as the Thames was declared 'biologically dead' just a few decades ago due to pollution, yet with extensive environmental work it has now reverted back to its former glory. Back to the poem; I love the message behind it, and the way you gave it a happier ending as opposed to similar poems with an environmental theme-it has a message of hope as well as the consequences of mankind's actions. There are perhaps a few small things I would change; the word 'it's' should have been 'its' in some places, as in 'Regained it's beauty'. The description of the river being creepy in 'Black it turned; lost it's beauty' seemed just slightly flat I thought, maybe some imagery might have made the image seem more striking. That aside however, it's a lovely piece of writing, with a nice message to go with it. Keep it up!
Nope not based on River Thames. Never heard about that.
Thank you. Yeah I'll try and change that.
i really liked this poem .. its has a deeper meaning , nd just a few mistakes here nd der but ur perfect in poems nyway
keep it up.. 
Thanks. Could you please point out the mistakes so I could change them for a better look?