Everything Is Just There.

Okay so I just ask myself what when I read this:
Every load that falls upon you;

again..?
slower capability



This is just random words put together to me..
Everything is just there,
To reach somewhere you don't know,
Could take you places you never go,
And when the clouds shed their tears.


Every flower that swings
And when the winds blow.

^^You have these two lines backwards. the flowers don't swing without the wind.



Everythin' is just there.

^ don't tell me, or keep telling me show me..

Okay well I'm going to stop here. I just hope you work on some clarity. I think you have a good idea but you loose it trying to have repetition and you word usage... oh man..

I think this needs some work.

The first time I read this I didn't like it. To be honest it was very weighted and slow. Most readers like to be able to read something smoothly. I realized that the beginning is supposed to prepare you for how you read this poem. The way you used grammar in this poem, made me feel like I was "carrying a monster". Your ability to weigh the reader down is impressive, but I did not enjoy reading it because of the heaviness. I didn't really understand what the monster was either. Maybe a little more clarity among the vague lines would help.

Hello again. People might start to think that I am stalking you, you sure you don't want to get rid of me?

This was.......I really don't know what to say about this. It was very.....different, I guess?

There wasn't a very clear topic/plot, it just sort of went everywhere all at once, and normally that would be really weird, and honestly it is really weird here, but I think that the weirdness works for this poem.

I'm not really sure how I feel about this. Most of the lines don't really connect very well, not to be a smartass, but everything is just there.

It works for this.

To me, this is basically saying that we all need to figure out who we are, or who we are going to be in the world.

That's what I got out of it anyways.

Changes your feelings; Everythin' is just there.

You never know thee sunshine on the bay.

Hey there.
When I read your poem, I thought of words like solitude, peace, serenity, beauty and nature. To analyze your poem if I can, let me give a clearer picture of what I imagined.
I am having problems, problems I couldn't even imagine. All I want is to be alone, to think and to forget. Where will I go? Who will I turn to? Then all of a sudden, the scenery changed and everything is quiet, nothing but the sounds of silence.
I love your poem. Its flow gave me this thought and I'm glad I read your work. There were no grammatical errors and your choice of words were dramatic but realistic.
Just take note of the punctuation marks and breaks between lines. That's all. I hope to read more of your work.
Keep it up!

I really like this; it's clever, it flows well, and it has some wonderful imagery! It's a little strange, too, so it makes me think about all the things it could possible mean and what my own "monsters" are. I do think you should get rid of the semi-colons in the first and last stanzas. Grammatically they have no purpose there and it also interrupts what is otherwise a really nice poem. Great job on the whole, though!