Young Writers Society

Wow. This hit super deeply.

I can completely relate to everything said here. I need to give you an incredible THANK YOU INFINITELY MUCH for writing this and for sharing it. You are really brave and I admire hat strength.

“ they ask you how you are
and you just have to say that you're fine
when you're not really fine
but you could never get into it because
they would never understand”

I deal with this everyday. Sometimes it’s so much easier to say nothing at all because saying anything is too much and impossible to explain. It feels like even specialist doctors would never understand. Like you’re the only one who knows what you’re going through (thankfully I find hope through Jesus Christ who is basically the only reason I’m alive).

“ they would never understand me
how could they understand how i feel inside?
nothing is inside me
maybe that's why no one understands me
maybe that's why i have no one close to me
because they all see my emptiness and think
"she's not worth it
there's nothing there
i can't help her"

Completely agree. Please understand, I am not saying at all that I understand what you are going through, because no matter what other people say, sometimes there is no one else on the planet who knows how you feel. I just want to express that your writing resonates within me and I understand that things described here are really rough and they are COMPLETELY VALID FEELINGS. No matter what you think or feel-there are no such thing as invalid emotions or things that are too confusing. Trust yourself and know that all of your feelings are real and that they matter ♥️

“so they just pass me by
and leave me alone with all my nothing
they don't understand that if they help me
and try to love me as their friend
i could be more than just an empty nothing
i could be their friend
but they would never understand”

I have experienced this so much and it is painful. It is comforting to know others feel this way (of course I would rather no one feel this way, but I really really appreciate you putting yourself out there and sharing. this is just so raw and powerful.

You’re awesome Momo!!!!!!!
-AilahEvelynMae

The first line made me think of the vine, which led to an interesting emotional roller coaster when reading this. The theme of the poem is sobering. I personally haven't dealt with depression but I have close friends who have. All I can say is that it does get better, and sometimes expressing feelings through writing is very helpful. There are people out there who don't think like this, trust me.

As far as your rhythm goes, I feel like this piece flows well. I don't think poems need to rhyme, or that all poems should rhyme. However, rhythm is very important. Choppyness ruins a poem for me and decreases how much I can relate to it. You've formed the syllables into a sort of loose pattern which is great for the flow of the piece.

I've really nothing overly critical to say of this poem. My brain's a bit dead from college, but I hope this little bit of feedback is useful somehow! Good luck with your writing!

Hey there! And good morning/evening/night or whatever time it is!

First off, I just want to say that this poem spoke to me so much, and I feel like I really understand what you are saying and what you are experiencing. Thank you for getting my thoughts out on paper!

they ask you how you are
and you just have to say that you're fine
when you're not really fine

they would never understand me
how could they understand how i feel inside?
nothing is inside me

maybe that's why no one understands me
maybe that's why i have no one close to me

"she's not worth it
there's nothing there
i can't help her"

they don't understand that if they help me
and try to love me as their friend
i could be more than just an empty nothing
i could be their friend

and leave me alone with all my nothing

Favorite line.

It works well because because you built up for the personal element instead of just telling us you gave us something more to work with.

Did you write this based on that vine?