Wakanda Forever!
does it have to end?
the Black Panther
the Defender of Wakanda
is gone.
T'Challa,
the wondrous king
loyal to the end to
his people
is gone.
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Canary word: Present
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139,327 Literary Works • 672,533 Reviews
Fancy seeing you here, haha!
positives
The voice is a sorrowful one. With the topic of the poem at hand, being anything other than that would be disrespectful. There are actually ways to project a sorrowful poem and not be overly heartbreaking, which is what this poem is. I personally prefer that style over most heartbreaking poetry because it's more realistic. People celebrate life, not death.
This has a nice balance; it shows a side to Chadwick of being this person everyone loved because of his roles in film, which is the lighter side of the theme. It also shows the pain people go through when remembering those roles too, which is heavier. People will never forget the impact someone had on them, even long after they passed away.
Your descriptions show the importance of who he was to many people, myself included in all of that. That's such a difficult thing to capture in poetry because you'll never be exactly sure of who is reading your writing, and every person has different feelings on a wide variety of subjects. It's good you're able to reach so many types of people with this.
suggestions
I think the line break of "loyal to the end to / his people" could be executed slightly better. Ending on open words like "to" and "the" cause some problems with the rest of the flow, so it's suggested to only break when the idea changes, there is some kind of punctuation there, or the lines are getting too long and you're running out of room.
^ This is the correction I made because I wasn't feeling the location of the line break, but feel free to do whatever if you think it fits better.
And done! I'll see you soon ~
Cheers!
Thanks! <3
Okay, I know this is a very late review but-- YOU WROTE A POEM ABOUT FREAKING BLACK PANTHER I HAD TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!Hewwo Momo! I'm gonna write you a quick little review, hope you're-- should I really do this again considering that I just wrote another review for you like 10 minutes ago? oh well-- having a great day/night, wherever you're atWell. There's not much to say about this besides the fact that I loved it! *Pounds chest* Wakanda forever :') I love how you can write poetry about anything and make it soooo good! Yeah-- I know I said this'd be short. XD. Okay-- bye-- I mean-- Keep it up and keep writing!
~Your friendly neighborhood Majesty of Nastiness~
Thank you!
<3
Hey momo, it's Myth/Grav (you can call me anything) to review your poetry
. So, without further ado, let's get started!
Firstly, I really respect your feelings for Chadwick Boseman. He brought his surroundings to a life nobody imagined. He was a strong leader and the epitome of humility and success. I remember how I woke up to a tweet about his passing at 7 AM and it was very depressing. I'm really sorry if you felt the same way or worse. It was a tragedy, but I guess after all that he went through the past few years, he deserved some peaceful sleep.
To the poem? There are just some things you can change to maybe add more depth to all the emotion you have put into this. I understand the raw power behind this, but to project it, you could work on the style a little.
I think that you could add a "The" before the last line there like @MoonIris suggested. Otherwise, there's an uneven shift from lowercase to uppercase and back. It messes with the flow a little bit.
"T'Challa" there should be a comma after this, or there's an imbalance in rhythm.
Other than all that, I don't see anything wrong. It's very inspiring to see you write something like this. Please don't let this affect you too much. Live your life with purpose and have fun.
Yours sincerely,
Myth <3
P.S. Wakanda forever!
__|_|__
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[img]https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/715635114423615549/750281735618428978/My_Post_1.jpg/img]thanks for the review!
Let's keep Chadwick Boseman in our hearts #Wakandaforever
Rest in peace, Chadwick Boseman.
Wakanda forever!
wakanda forever
Hello, MomoandAppa!
I found at Chadwick Boseman's death this morning, and I was shocked and sad. It's terrible that he died so young.
When I read the title, I thought this poem was a dedication to one of his most well-known role as T'Challa. I wasn't expecting it to be grief-stricken. I like how the poem conveys the theme of grief -the news is abrupt, and the emotions are strong.
I like how the poem is short. It kind of punches you in the gut.
Great job!
Athena
thanks. Wakanda forever
Hi, MomoandAppa (love the username, btw)! I'm here with a review for ya.
I just found out about Chadwick Boseman's death this morning. It was gonna be a great day, and then it wasn't. That's definitely something this poem conveys--and abrupt ending to a story that should have gone on far longer than it did. I can feel your grief in the words of this poem, but I think you could have taken it further.
In my creative writing classes, I've always been instructed to show rather than tell. It sounds hard, I know--writing is basically telling. But I think the poem might benefit from being a little less literal. I love your focus on Boseman's role as the Black Panther--a defender of Wakanda and a loyal man. How could you show this to the audience rather than state it as a fact? Could you use imagery to deepen the affect of the words?
I share your grief, as do many Marvel fans, and I love that you sought to get that grief out in a poem. All the best poems are drawn from strong emotions the poets experience. Even so, I believe you could make the poem even better than it already is!
I hope you found this review helpful. Happy writing!
Wakanda Forever,
RavenLord
thanks for the review. Wakanda forever
Hi MomoandAppa,
I'm here with a review. I was very sorry this morning when I heard about this superhero's death. I didn't find any grammar mistakes in this short poem. I do think that here:
"Defender of Wakanda"
It would sound better "The defender". Your poem was rather short and so is my review. I hope it somehow helped you,
MoonIris.
thank you.