letting go

by momonster

Life

Some say it is

fragile

blown away at the

slightest gust

Some say it is

strong

for it lives in our

memories

I say

life is both

fragile and strong

It only depends

on the bearer

If we remember

the tears will flow

if we forget

the well dries up

Tears

are a gift

do not push them

down

The salt drops

of emotion

are precious jewels

a gift to us

the bearers of

these gems

So let the tears

come

let the memories

come

Let them flow

like a river

at the first thaw

Life

is a gift

Embrace it

but let it go when

it must

We will

meet again

at the end

Comments

[ Follow ]

Points: 630
Reviews: 215

Donate

Wed Apr 28, 2021 10:34 pm

View Likes

creaturefeature wrote a review...

I don't think I need to say anything to introduce myself anymore ~

Some say it is

fragile

Some say it is

strong

I say

life is both

fragile and strong

I like the different changes in perspective here. Everyone's thoughts are considered and respected, but the narrator states their own thoughts as well. Life is a complex subject, and it's hard to agree with the majority of people on topics such as religion, the meaning of life, and other things that require a moment of reflecting.

I do wish there was a little more distinction between each opinion though. They are quite close together, quite similar in tone, and that doesn't exactly incapsulate or even weigh in slightly to the wide variety of thoughts people can have. Someone could say "life is like salad!" and another person can think life is a little pointless, and there's so much more than those two examples because it depends on the person you ask.

Tears

are a gift

I typically see lines saying the opposite of this, so it's nice to see another version. I personally see why one would agree with this statement because of the reasons you hinted at in the poem, and I also see why one would disagree due to a lot of things.

do not push them

down

I'm unsure about the physics of this? Tears usually come from eyes, so implying that they are pushed down doesn't exactly make sense to me. "Do not push them out" could possibly make a little more sense with the wording you used there.

I like the sentiment of that line, though.

We will

meet again

at the end

I agree this is kind of bittersweet, but it's more sweet than it is bitter. I definitely think it's the strongest part of the poem too, which works because it's at the end. The end of the poem can symbolize the end of the life the narrator is telling about, which is a rather cool added bonus if you're looking far into everything as well, in my opinion.

See you on the next poem -

Cheers! <3

momonster says...

Thanks!

[ Follow ]

Points: 29825
Reviews: 465

Donate

Wed Dec 16, 2020 10:21 pm

View Likes

starlitmind wrote a review...

Hey you <3 Thank you for tagging me when you published this poem! I've been meaning to review this for awhile, and I'm finally getting to it now xD I'm just going to get straight into it!

I really, really love this poem. You've used some lovely water imagery throughout, and I love "the salt drops of emotion are precious jewels." I also love your well metaphor which I interpreted as the eyes that no longer carry any tears. And I think you ended the poem on the perfect note - a need to let go of life when it is over. And you last little part, "We will meet again at the end," provides hope and reassurance in the perhaps bittersweet ending. Overall, I most definitely enjoyed reading this lovely poem by you <3 I do have some suggestions, but these are personal opinions, so please disregard them if you don't agree!

The first thing I'd like to mention is stanzas. Originally I was leaning on the side of separating your poem into stanzas, but now that I think about it, I kind of like how you have it. Because the lines are short and thin and they spiral down without a break, it resembles a tear to me. So I think that going either way works out perfectly fine! Just in case you wanted to add stanzas, I've added one way in the spoiler below that you could divide your poem. Now, there are multiple ways to divide your poem, and this is just one out of that many But again, I think your poem works perfectly fine without them!

Spoiler! :

The next thing I'd like to mention is punctuation. Sort of with the stanzas thing, I think I like this poem without the punctuation. It keeps the poem from stopping, and thus makes the poem flow and fall down like a tear. I do have two suggestions that are entirely my opinion, so please feel free to disregard

Life

I was thinking that a dash at the end of this would work nicely, just to kind of separate it from the next line (since the next line has its own subject)

We will

meet again

at the end

I also think a period at the very end of your poem would be cool to represent the ending or stopping of life. It would be like when the tear reaches the bottom/evaporates/or whatever a tear does when it falls from your eye xD But other than those two spots, I don't have any other suggestions!

I have two smaller things that I would like to point out -

1.) I noticed you used the word "gift" a few times throughout your poem

Tears

are a gift

The salt drops

of emotion

are precious jewels

a gift to us

Life

is a gift

Especially since this is a bit of a shorter piece, I think your poem would be more powerful without the repetition, and you could replace it with some stronger words. Or instead of finding synonyms for gift, you could try to incorporate more similes/metaphors in your poem! Just a thought

2.) This is a teeny suggestion that could perhaps make this a bit stronger

Some say it is

fragile

blown away at the

slightest gust

Some say it is

strong

for it lives in our

memories

Who is the "some" that you mention? Your parents? Your friends? Teachers or classmates or adults in your community? I think assigning a specific someone would make this poem more personal, and therefore more powerful. Maybe it could also bring more people to relate to this!

Overall, this is another lovely poem. You've been churning out some beautiful poems lately, and I always enjoy reading them. I think you did an amazing job with this one - I love the structure and language you've incorporated into this. It's gorgeous, and I look forward to reading more from you.

I hope this helped!

[ Follow ]

Points: 127
Reviews: 39

Donate

Wed Dec 02, 2020 4:00 am

View Likes

nanda wrote a review...

Hey @LordMomo
I am awed by the beauty of your work!
This work is truly superb. The theme is so amazing and has been so perfectly elaborated. This is truly a masterpiece.
I am impressed with the way you projected life as being both fragile and strong.
It truly is. Sometimes we really need to let things go. It becomes mandatory.
Some days are so good. They fill us with glee. While some we might rue.
The way you presented this idea was so nice. I think the value of human tears has been correctly mentioned.
Human tears are indeed very precious.
Life is certainly a gift and a very beautiful one.
So is your skill. Your poetry was fabulous. It gives one of the most important lessons of life- " to learn to let go". To forget and move on is something necessary to lead a happy life. And that has been very beautifully framed into a poetry.
Gooduck and keep writing.
Looking forward to reading more such works from you!
Regards
Mahira

momonster says...

Thank you!

[ Follow ]

Points: 1670
Reviews: 28

Donate

Mon Nov 30, 2020 8:19 pm

View Likes

MadilynReads wrote a review...

Wow. I love that. It is so moving, and freeing, and simply warming. I like so many things about this poem, one of those things is the flow. The length of your lines really add to the theme and perfectly accent your subject. I like the flow from the line length and the lack of punctuation! It really makes it flow easily and softly like the tears in your poem thank you for sharing this with the community here! Please keep writing!

momonster says...

Thank you!

[ Follow ]

Points: 0
Reviews: 63

Donate

Mon Nov 30, 2020 7:39 pm

View Likes

NastyMajesty wrote a review...

Helloooo Momo!!! I'm gonna be popping in for a quick review! Hope you're having a great day/night wherever you're at . Anyways, here's my review lol:

Grows

The only thing I'd have to say about this is the organization of your stanzas and lines which are a little bit... spaced out if you know what I mean lol. It's probably just me so if you wanna keep it that way, you do you!

Glows
WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! This poem was stunning! I absolutely loved reading it. I think we could all get some good from reading this since letting go is such a hard thing to do. The poem was so beautiful and stunning! Great job! Keep it up and keep writing!
<3
~Your friendly neighborhood Majesty of Nastiness~