I do love to be outdoors
And eat lots of gooey s'mores
For I went camping at Elmbois
And had no need for any toys
Oh, how I do love camping!
But not the abomination called glamping
Woot Woot! positives I tend to dislike repeating lines, but the "I do love to be outdoors" and "how I do love camping!" seem to work together well here. It might be because the poem is shorter and it wraps up the theme nicely, or it could be because the lines are both still quite simple in imagery but different in the areas where it is needed to be a little different.
Hello there,I really enjoyed the first poem (camping), so I’m here for just a little review of the second one! I love how much imagery and description you packed into these six lines. Your rhymes were playful and really set the mood. I loved how you shunned ‘glamping’ at the end there. I actually hadn’t heard of that word beforehand, and the definition definitely made me smile.Great word choice! Overall, this was a sweet poem and I enjoyed it as much as the first!~SpiderFingers~
Hey there MomoandAppa! I'm here to review this very cute poem.After reading some of your poems, I've come to love your style of writing poetry. It's cute, fun, and lighthearted, which makes them very enjoyable reads. This poem of yours is no exception; I love how playful this is. It is simple but brought a smile to my face. I really liked this poem! I have only a few things I'd like to mention since this poem is on the shorter side. These are just suggestions, so please ignore them I you don't agree! The first thing I would like to mention is imagery. I think it would be great to include some more imagery into this! For example,
For I went camping at ElmboisAnd had no need for any toys
Hello there, @MomoandAppa! It's Vilnius, here to review the second part of your poem.So, my first impression this time isn't that you're thinking/talking about the joys and sorrows of camping as much as you're reminiscing your most recent camping trip.I really like that this poem has more structure than its predecessor. By establishing a rhyme scheme and keeping it almost entirely consistent, you've really improved it! I also like the rhythm you've kept consistent in it as well.I do feel like that final line seems out of place and a bit forced. It's longer than the other lines. Each set of couplets has had a very similar number of syllables, but that final line just really throws the rest of it off.Overall, I really do think that your poetry has improved from Part One to Part Two!Have a nice [*insert time of day here*]!!!
Hello MomoandAppa,I love your username btw. This is a cute little poem. The formatting has changed drastically, but it still has the same theme: love for camping. I love the rhymes and the rhythm moves at a good pace. I also love how you describe s'mores. That is so true!I didn't know glamping was a word until I looked it up. It made me smile. How dare glamping disrespect the true art of camping?Great job!Athena
hmmn..good.let me try...I love to be indoors.Eating lots of peanuts.For i planned on camping at home.And i had no need for a visitor.I do love staying at home now!But not the bored type of camping!.The poetry is good,and is interesting,short and well-composed.but what's a gooey s'mores?
Helloooooo momo! LP here for another review,I went back and read your first poem about camping and wow has it changed! I like the format the poem is in, plus all the descriptive words making me feel like I was there eating s’mores with you :j. Even though this poem is shorter it still is really cool, hope to see more from you!As always,LP
119,070 Literary Works • 644,347 Reviews