Young Writers Society

Before I read this poem, I never knew that a piece with no punctuation could be so amazing. I'm not saying it's bad, it's simply so special and unique. Even your style of writing one-word lines is really captivating. It's really simplistic, short and to the point, which I really admire. It has nothing but raw expression, I love that. (BTW, I too love camping, but I actually like the trekking and hiking part better than the actual camping part. Everybody have their own preferences).

Overall, this poem is amazing! Keep writing!

ARE YOU GETTING TIRED OF ME YET? :O

positives

Ooh camping is fun! Nature is one of those things everyone writes about, and I mean that in the best way; there are so many types of animals, naturally occurring phenomena, plants and trees, etc. to write about, which can create a lot of cool things.

camping

getting away

Hi! Hannah here for a quick review. I loved this! This pretty much describes camping. It is a bliss, it is pleasant. I love how there is a bit of arguing to balance out the poem. I have one minor critique.

camping

in a tent

listening
I feel like that would be better if it was put into two lines rather than one.
Well, that's all for today. Merry Christmas, have a good day and keep writing!
Hannah

Hi there MomoandAppa! I'm here for the requested #RevMo review!

You've definitely captured the spirit and fun of camping quite well in such a short poem! I can 100% relate to the lines about "long // arduous // hiking" ~ whenever we go camping my mom makes us go on 5 km hikes through mosquito-y and poison ivy filled forests, which isn't the most enjoyable, but just part of the experience I guess.

So you talk about lots of things about camping that are very relatable, which is great! I do think it'd be awesome if you could add some more descriptions about those things, so that even if someone hasn't gone camping, they can still picture everything in their mind. For example, the "nature" you mention - what's it like? Tall, skinny pine trees growing amongst cheerful birdsongs? Low, sloping willows? Still meadow filled with the buzzing of sleepy bees? Each description can give your poem a different mood, depending on how you want the reader to feel!

(Similarly, why is the hiking arduous? Is it as hot as a desert? Does the humidity cling to your skin? Is the path steep and hilly?)

I think some of your line breaks are working really well, and some of them feel a little bit too disjointed. I really like your choice to often put the word "camping" on its own line ( -> in fact, I'd suggest doing that for the final line, "I love camping" so it'd become two lines: "I love // camping", because that would nicely emphasize that this poem is about, well, camping!), and in some other places as well it works well for stressing a certain idea. For example, I like how "arduous" is italicized and on its own line.

camping

in a tent

listening

to

Hey there, @MomoandAppa! As promised, here's a review!

So, my first impression is that you obviously like to go camping and it's something akin to a treat for you.

This poem really lacks structure, and that can make it harder for some readers to-- well, read it. However, you do an excellent job of making me feel like I'm outside at night while camping, even though it's really not my thing.

By describing the bickering that may or may not have occurred on your most recent camping trip, you've emphasized some negatives of camping in addition to your positives, thus balancing out your poem.

Have a nice [*insert time of day here*]!!!

Hi there, MomoandAppa! I saw this poem lurking in the poetry section of the site and love camping, too, so I just had to review it.

It's been awhile since my family camped in a tent, but everything else you described definitely rings a bell. I love your description of hiking, and I really love this part down below:

katy did

katy didn't

sikasikasika

whoooooosh

hanging out

with nature

hanging out with nature

Hey, MomoandAppa! Raven's back for more!

As a tent camper, I can really, really appreciate this poem. I've always loved the sounds of the insects, frogs, and birds at night completely overwhelming the rest of the world. It's a great experience.

Going back to my review of your work "Wakanda FOREVER", I noticed you did more showing this time around, which I was so happy to see. Your onomatopoeias were very well chosen and I could associate each one with the sounds I'm used to hearing in the middle of the woods at night. However, I think you could push that showing even further with some figurative language. When you say camping is pleasant or hiking is arduous (which takes me back to several strenuous hikes of my own), how can you make it obvious to the reader that this is so? Try making a list of some of your experiences while camping--big things like seeing the mountains as you hike, or small things like a bead of sweat rolling down your back. If you can, try to use all five senses. Then pick and choose which experiences can expand on the adjectives you used in this poem.

I loved this camping poem, and it brought back some great memories of my time with my family. Thank you for that It's great to see you improving your writing; you've got excellent ideas. Happy writing and happy RevMo!

Regards,
RavenLord

Hello MomoandAppa,

Happy Review Month! Let's look at this lovely little poem.

I've gone camping a couple of times in the past. You've described it very well. There was no figurative language, but I could imagine the experience.

I love the italics on "arduous." Hiking is difficult, but those italics put an emphasis on it.

camping
in a tent
listening to
Katy did
Katy didn't

Hello there,

I think this is a great poem. It painted such a nice picture, capturing all the sights and sounds of camping in the woods. Also good word choice, I enjoyed the line “listening to katy did, katy didn’t” and your use of onomatopoeia (“whoooooosh”). The italics add extra emphasis on certain words, which I also enjoyed. This poem brings back so many good and fun memories of being in nature with family and I really enjoyed reading it. Nice work at crafting your poem.

~Spider~

Hello MomoandAppa,

Happy Review Month! Let's look at this lovely little poem.

I've gone camping a couple of times in the past. You've described it very well. There was no figurative language, but I could imagine the experience.

I love the italics on "arduous." Hiking is difficult, but those italics put an emphasis on it.

camping
in a tent
listening to
Katy did
Katy didn't