Young Writers Society

hey there stygianmoon17 here for a review

Me seeing the title is numb: I've become so numbbbbb, I can't feel you there; become so tired, so much more aware-

haha lol you probably have no idea what this is about, but to anyone who got the reference, I LOVE YOU
Hum anyways.

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For a poem that was written in collaboration with not one, not two, but THREE persons, this is really impressive. I never felt the switch between writers during my read of the poem, and it all flowed pretty nicely.

The feeling of numbness was very well conveyed throughout the imagery and feelings in the poem, there's just a tiny moment that kinda bugged me. See, in this,

I stumble

and fall

onto the cold

hard

ground

I cannot feel

myself

at all



The earth below me

is painted in

shades of gray and

I cannot see

any color

at all

Hello!

That was very good I really liked it. it was very smooth how you make this sleeve the door between love and sadness.

Its very good at the part where you say the sleeve is always with you and you don't appreciate enough as you should which is really true.

I love how you describe it by saying you start seeing hints of blue but not any blue specifically navy blue, and how you make the reader imagine navy blue kites and how you tie that into your ending.

I also really love how it ends its just like the end of a song when your satisfied and its that point where the reader is saying that was a nice ride a smooth and slow ride.

That's all from me have a good day and hope you keep on writing.
The start of the poem is also good as you describe how hopeless your feeling and that your just feeling so down at the moment and just how you described was super well done.

Well that's all from me have a good day and keep on writing. 😁😀😁

Hey!

First of all, lemme just say, wow! I think its amazing how you pulled off the transition from depressed to hopeful. A lot of people mess tend to mess up those mood changes in poems, but the transition in numb was smother than a baby's cheek.

I loved how you describe the sleeve as the only person you can trust and stuff, because its literally the one that wipes away your tears. That was beautiful.

I really liked how you end, almost like you're trying to say that even thought the whole world seems black right now, there's light at the end of the tunnel.

I really like how you say that the narrator smiles at the sleeve. That single lined conveys so much of deep feeling.

I really loved this line:

No one else has been

such a constant in my life

It is always there

and it will never leave me

right?

I like how it expresses doubt at the end, how despite everything, you still don't believe that the sleeve will always stick by you, because everyone you love has always left.

On the whole, I loved this poem, and I don't see anything that could possibly make it better. Can't wait to read more of your work. <3
Keep writing.

Hello, how are you all doing? I hope everything's going well for you wherever you are! I'm here today because I really want you to know how much I love this beautiful poem! I'm definitely no review wizard, but I'll be happy to tell you guys my thoughts!

This is a wonderful poem with so much emotion and feeling behind it. The work you guys put into it definitely paid off. The title "numb" perfectly described what's going on in the poem. The poem says things like "I weep but cannot feel the tears" or "Why do I feel like I'm fading too," and that really emphasizes that numb feeling. Or unfeeling, I guess haha.

I absolutely love the part when the sleeve "waves" and the character smiles for the first time in a while. That is so adorable and wholesome and happy--I just love it! The first half of the poem is all about numbness, and the second half is the happier half. The character says they feel nothing but love and says how amazing and beautiful things are. And finally, the last few lines really hit hard and were very impactful, so awesome job with that!

I'll end this how I usually do, with a message of my overall thoughts! This was so sweet and I love how the poem progressed! The writing is beautiful and it's so well written too, this is amazing! Fantastic job!

Keep up the amazing work ya'll!