Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.
Chapter 79: The Power of Evolution
Amy’s new power posed a lot of problems for me. I could easily keep up before, but now I was struggling.
Amy used powerful magic, so I realized,
“I need to use my trump card this early.”
Unlike Dallel, Amy was still in the realm of mortals when she evolved, so my power would work. My trump card that I kept hidden. I learned magic through the shackle against gods.
“FLAME SWORD.”
I summoned flame to my sword, and we clashed. Amy’s eyes widened as she realized I hid it, planning on surprising Celios or Ausar with it.
“You are smart, but it won’t be enough.”
Despite her words, I was stronger. I pushed down her sword and slashed at her stomach.
She barely dodged and realized that I had reached S in power.
“Impossible.”
I increased in speed and battled ferociously, but Amy, by evolving, also reached S in power.
“To think. You were ahead of us this whole time.”
We clashed again and again. More injuries appearing on each one of us. The gods, who thought that the battle was decided when Amy evolved, realized that I still held a chance.
“Impossible, there is no way that an unevolved could even stand against an evolved.”
Thalia smiled.
“Please, Asura could beat them, and he isn’t evolved.”
Asura nodded.
“I didn’t even know that humans could evolve, but now that I do, I’mma try for it.”
Amy struck at me while I was distracted, but I narrowly dodged.
Amy was open, so I struck. I jabbed her stomach with my fist, and she flew back and crashed against the barrier.
Then, when I felt like I won, I heard Amy.
“I see now. Divinity stretches across the whole world. What if I grabbed it?”
She had the divine aspect. Her injuries disappeared and she stood up.
“I can win now, Amanda.”
I smiled and she did too.
We both picked up speed as now we fought at full strength.
The divine aspect came to me as easily as breathing before I had the restraint, so I knew how strong she was for the moment.
Amy realized that I still maintained the advantage and struck to win before I could, but I leapt back.
“FIRESTORM!!!”
My power raged and struck her full power. A meteorite crushed her, but she threw it off and continued to attack.
She shot and shot.
I narrowly dodged with my unpredictable movements, then I slashed at her. The attack would either land and hurt her severely, or I’d miss and be opened up to an assault.
It was both.
My blade cut into her arm, but her’s cut into my stomach.
I coughed out blood, before launching back, cringing at the pain.
She took the advantage and shot, but I was ready.
“Fire ward!”
It blocked the arrow, but Amy wasn’t too far behind.
She kicked through the barrier and slashed my arm off. We all knew that the healers could heal short of death, so she didn’t hold back.
I slashed at her, making her block so I could get more space. I realized I needed to use my strongest attack under the restraint, but because of the restraint, it made me have to spend time to set it up, but I started the incantation.
“Flame of Oblivion, hear my call. Take your power and lend it to me.”
Amy heard me and tried attacking, but Kala took control of my body as I chanted, so I could dodge.
“I seek the Flame’s only ruler. Greater than the forge. Greater than the flaming mountains.”
“I can’t let you-“
“ETERNAL FLAME!!!”
A spell that even Thalia would be hard-pressed to cast was used.
Flames burst from thin air and wrapped around me. For as long as I used the spell, I would be burnt more and more.
“AMANDA!!!”
I launched at her and melted her blade while kicking her.
“We are still in a duel. Focus Amy, or I will win.”
Amy realized that the time for playing was over, and she struck at me with all of her might.
I struck at her with all of my might.
She imbued herself with the divine magic and struck with all of her power. Using it began to tear her apart.
The announcer understood what was happening.
“PEOPLE. WHOEVER WINS THIS NEXT CLASH WILL BE THE VICTOR!!!”
The gods all nodded, because they knew how much life force we extended to empower these moves.
Then our powers collided.
Across the world the clash was felt.
The shield collapsed and Thalia made a new one.
The ground beneath us shook before shattering.
The city shook.
And at the end of it. A single woman was standing. No one could identify who it was.
Then the smoke cleared, and I stood with charred skin and virtually useless armor. Amy was unconscious on the other side of the arena.
“I guess I did win after all.”
I said before my right leg dissolved to ash, and I collapsed.
_
I looked in shock at the battle and I heard Celios.
“So, that’s why Kala was scared of the other world.”
“What do you mean?”
“Even evolved beings usually take thousands of years to manifest the divine aspect, but she developed it right after evolving.”
“Though, Amanda is perhaps more terrifying.”
“Agreed, her growth is that great. And to think that in less than a month, she had mastered the fire aspect.”
This was very shocking. Both Amanda and Amy had become transcendent in only a month.
The announcer was very enthusiastic.
“THAT WAS INCREDIBLE!!! If these two were on the opposite side of each other on the board than I have no doubt that this would have been the finals fight. Both of them showed so much strength that I can barely believe that they are human. That fight was reminiscent of the battle between Rose and Saliad at the last tournament.”
The people cheered.
“Now, unfortunately, we will have to wait until tomorrow for the battle between Celios and Ausar.”
The people were sad but understood the level of power that was just used.
Ausar turned to Celios with wide eyes.
“I don’t care who they think won that. We aren’t winning against either of them.”
Celios nodded.
“I’ll have to use a lot of trickery to beat Amanda.”
I nodded.
“She definitely surpassed my expectations.”
Chapter 80: W̶̷̷̸̠̭͖̳͈̹͍̞͖̘̝̯͌̀̈ͦͣ͑͂̄ͫ͘͡h̨̦̜̼̜̗͈̠̣̽̈ͫ͂̀ͤͩ̒́̒̀͋̕͜͞ǎ̢̤̜̯̝̳͍̮̱ͮ͊ͩ̀̾ͬ͒͛̐̐͐ͦ̒̋͒ͮ̕̚͘͠ẗ̛͓͙͐̌͌ ị̵̢̫͍̥͋̅̇ͣ͛̌̓ͫ͒ş̷̴̴͎͍̫͕̝̣̪̝͇̺̦͚̥͔ͬͯ̎ͧ͊͌ͮ̓ͫ̀͋̾ͮ͌̽̒̍̒̒̿͂ͫ͟͠͡ͅͅ h_̵̸̶̜̣̬̝͍͓̪̳̯̖ͧͦ̑̉ͦ͆̒͌͂̾ͪ́̊̓ͤ́ͣͫ̾͜͟͢͠ͅa̡̡̮̺̫̙̭̦͔̱̥͚̥̦̮̟̠̺̺͚͔̲̤ͣ̌ͧ̔͋̉ͧ̇ͥ͂̈̉ͥͦͦ̿ͦ̈́̄͜͢͝p̵̵̨̡̙͓̘̗̘̻͕̽̉͋̉͆̌͊̐̕͘͢p̴̤͕̼̺̟͉̭̦̳͔̥͚̖̠̳̩̠̗ͥ̾̐ͮͪ̈́̄ͧ̂ͦ̓͊ͣͣ̄̿̒̌̉̀̈ͭ͘͢͜͢͟e̶̴͔͔͗̅͂̋̚ͅn̹̺͖̳̼̰͎̪̻̭̹̘̭̳̗ͧ̅ͥͦͣ̑̂ͬͮͪ̂̕͡ǐ̶̛̞̮̩̠̰͓͍͉̝̤̳͉̰͇͛̆̋ͪͥ̃̾͂͂̈́̀̆͑̾̏̕͟͠͠͝n̜̻̲̂̎ͦ̏͗͠g̥̻͍̜̉̍̎ͮͮ́͠
Both me and Amy were asleep through the duel of Celios and Ausar, but, apparently, Celios sacrificed his blade to manage a jab through Ausar’s heart, winning the duel.
Celios and I both received advice from Ausar and Amy.
Amy had actually become a bit of a celebrity, being the first human to ever evolve.
People wouldn’t leave her alone, and I saw Granny in the area.
Surprisingly, in a day, Amy had started calling her Granny too. Kala found it funny.
“You are an interesting person, Amanda. You sort of remind me of my other granddaughter.”
“What is she like?”
Her face scrunched.
“She’s the person the gods are training to fight.”
“I… see. So, not good?”
“Actually, just Rose is a wonderful person, but I think that this Kala tricked her. There’s no way they’d align otherwise.”
“I see. Well, if I can help I will.”
“Ah, thank you, you are a wonderful person. Feel free to call me ‘granny’ too, dear.”
“Alright, thank you for coming, Granny.”
“Of course, I heard of the battle between Celios and a rising star. Given the restraints I think you have a big chance of victory, especially with your fire.”
“Actually, I’m planning on going straight martial art against him.”
That got Mammon’s attention.
“Why?”
“Because his magic is stronger than mine, his is just bound, so it wouldn’t be fair if I used the magic.”
Mammon and Granny both laughed.
“Goodness, she’s like a younger Rose.”
“Only you would call fighting a god fair, at all.”
“I guess.”
I waved and left the guild hall.
Then came the battle between me and Celios.
_
We both trained for the whole night. Celios was told that if he could win, then he’d be unchained early.
He was prepared for the fight as much as I was.
So, when we walked into the ring, the whole crowd cheered.
‘Kala, remember to wait to start magic until he begins using it.’
‘Understood, let’s do this.’
‘And PLEASE do not evolve him.’
Kala snickered as the only reason that Amy was so much trouble was because Kala evolved her.
“Amanda, I don’t see you preparing magic.”
“I want to face you on equal ground, so if you don’t use magic, then I won’t.”
Celios smiled.
“You are an odd one.”
“The finale has finally begun. The Sky god versus the Flaming Blade. WHO WILL WIN!!! They have both gone far, and this is the last battle. Let us see.”
“I hope you don’t cry after losing.”
“Ready!!!”
“I hope you wake up in less than a day this time.”
“FIGHT!!!”
With the announcer declaring the round had started, both me and Celios disappeared.
At least, that’s what I assumed it looked like to the others. Because neither me nor Celios were in the arena.
“What’s going on?”
“I don’t know.”
We got in a defensive position when someone stepped out.
Both me and Celios recognized that this man was beyond us. Even without the shackles, he outranked us.
“It seems that two from this world are fit to join our organization.”
“Who are you?”
“Someone far stronger than both of you.”
“We can tell that much.”
“My name is ?????????????”
“Pardon?”
“???????? Darn it. I thought I fixed that.”
“Who are you?”
I stood in front of Celios, call it mother’s instinct. I didn’t trust him in the slightest.
“I am an ????????. I work for a group that looks for ????? to ?????????.”
We looked at him in confusion.
“*Sigh* You didn’t understand that did you.”
We shake our heads.
“Alright. I work for tough people, who look for worlds to conquer. We usually take one or two from the worlds to join our ranks.”
“So, I was right.”
The man looked hopeful, but my next words soured his expression.
“We can’t let you leave here.”
“Unfortunate, I was told that you two were quite reasonable.”
“Well, what do you want with the worlds?”
“We use the people as fuel for our weapons. Use the right methods, and even a lowly human’s corpse can become a refined masterpiece of armor. Just imagine what we could do if we used an Altmer, or even a dragon. Most worlds haven’t advanced this far in terms of resource.”
I had already decided to kill this man, but I asked a question and subtly unlatched the restraint.
“What’s your final goal?”
“Destroy earth and enslave the one who rules it.”
Then Kala spoke.
“You know? If you came to me or Celios with that two years ago. We probably would have said yes.”
“And now?”
Celios was confused, but he assumed that I had met myself.
“We met someone.”
Kala smiled.
“And her name is Rose Hood.”
I took back control of the body and lunged at Celios and shattered his restraint.
“Kala…”
“Not the time, Celios.”
He nodded and we entered battle formation. Two members were missing, but we were ready to fight.
The man laughed.
“Unfortunate, I told them that we should have gone for this world sooner. Then we could have gotten new members.”
Then, he struck to kill.
I blocked as he punched. His punch shattered my arms, and I had to fight against him with my legs.
Celios used his bounce attack, but this time, he had sword techniques to back him up. Our powers were far greater than the training, but we were still nowhere near him.
“Status check.”
I used the skill before freezing. I could only get one thing.
-----------------
???????????
Level: [ERROR: NUMBER TOO LARGE TO PROCCESS]
Race: Human
-----------------
He took advantage of my pause and struck with enough strength to kill even a god.
I barely deflected it, but he came right back with a strong blow that cracked the shell we were in, but that was enough to see our location.
“CELIOS, GET OVER HERE!!!”
He understood and ran over, barely grabbing onto my hand before we warped.
“You little… I’ll destroy you and that puny town. And even if somehow you win.”
As the scene faded, he smiled terrifyingly.
“I’m only a grunt.”
Chapter 81: The Power of the Simple Beasts
Me and Celios appeared in the ring, and I collapsed right away.
“Amanda!!!”
Despite knowing my identity, he was still worried.
“We were in the far reaches of space, it took almost all of my mana to get us back here.”
“I see, and he’s going to be here.”
“Very quickly.”
Dallel leapt in the ring.
“Celios what happened.”
He froze as my disguise and aura shield faded due to lack of mana.
“Rose.”
“Sup.”
Dallel drew his sword, but Celios stood in front of me.
“Listen, I know how much you want to fight her. Believe me, I do too. But we have bigger issues right now.”
“Celios, I don’t know how she tri-“
“Will you shut up right now Dallel?! We have a being that could do this to Kala without breaking a sweat coming in who knows how short of time. I don’t care what you are feeling, we need to evacuate the city now.”
His words echoed across the arena.
The people finally looked at me and Nala gasped.
“Her arms… they’re shattered.”
Dallel nearly dropped his sword upon seeing the state of my arms.
“That was from one attack.”
Upon realizing the gravity of the situation, panic grew. It was then that I realized that it was for the best that Granny showed up.
“EVERYONE CALM DOWN!!! WE WON’T ESCAPE IF WE PANIC!!!”
Her shout calmed everyone.
We left the arena and as I couldn’t move due to having such little mana, Dallel carried me.
“You are going to explain a lot, do you hear?”
“I understand, but right now we need to focus on survival.”
Celios remembered something.
“Kala, you used status check, what are his stats.”
I gritted my teeth before answering.
“Too large to process.”
Celios nodded as though he expected that result and got to unrestraining the other gods.
“Why can’t you move though?”
“I used all of my mana to get back from where we were. We traveled way too far to have no consequences.”
Celios nodded, then a crash was heard and a terrifyingly familiar voice.
“Oh, weaklings. I gave you an offer, and you can still accept, and I won’t destroy everything.”
I snorted.
“Yeah, you won’t destroy everything because you still need these people for materials.”
He laughed.
“Kala was your name, right? Well, you made a material rich world, and you didn’t think for a moment that people would use it? That’s almost pitiful.”
Dallel recognized his strength immediately and ran as fast as he could. Duhnheim was frozen in fear, so Celios grabbed him.
“RETREAT!!! WE CAN’T WIN!!!”
The people realized how strong he was for the stubborn Dallel to instantly declare defeat.
“Disappointing, for such a rich world, you don’t have many actually strong people.”
Celios barely blocked the attack aimed for Dallel, but Celios was thrown back in a twisted pretzel shape. He coughed out blood.
The man smiled.
“A god? Kala, you made such an interesting world. No matter, I can still kill him.”
Celios spat blood at the man.
“You should have just joined us, weakling.”
My mind remembered Royce in that instant. When Celios killed him, my rage was pure and I would have killed him, but now I was furious, but at this man who acted like we all were pathetic.
I launched from Dallel and cut at his back, but he was prepared and snapped my body in half.
I coughed out blood but healed and got up.
The man’s eyes widened, but his grin didn’t fade.
“Interesting, you really have to join us now. Your rage is unique.”
Kala and I smiled back. Speaking with both of our voices.
“Your death was assured the moment you threatened my friend.”
“What?”
“I didn’t want to do this, because I may fade.”
Everyone realized what I meant, and Dallel shouted.
“Rose, don’t.”
“Kala, I will merge.”
“Very well.”
Our power spasmed and merged and the man charged, but this time I could block.
My arm still broke, but I didn’t move.
“What? Kala, how?”
He didn’t understand who I was. Why I was able to make a world like this.
My mind was full. The memories of Rose stormed in like a typhoon, and as such, so did the memories of the other shards. I understood their rage, what my children did, and what I had to do to save them.
“I don’t know what dark art you used, but I will still kill you.”
I smiled.
“Your first mistake, was threatening my friends.”
He realized something.
“Your second mistake, was doing it where my dominion is supreme.”
It was because Rose fought my aura that they were able to keep up. Now, there were no such shackles.
“You are just a beast that declares dominion. I am greater!!!”
I laughed.
“You are certainly stronger, but I claim what I made.”
I used all of my power in an instant, I couldn’t hold back for a second.
He used advanced magic without talking and barely blocked it, but he still took massive damage.
“You little *****.”
I was then disconnected from Kala. She used too much power in an instant to maintain dominion.
The man began to heal.
“You really think… that you can defeat me? I am an ?????? of the ????? ??????”
“I don’t care about your garbled crap. I’ll kill you anyways.”
The man smiled.
“Please, Kala. That was your strongest attack. What can you do?”
“Easy. But first you should know something.”
“Oh?”
The man leaned over demeaningly. I could barely move, but I knew how to at least catch him off guard.
“My name is Rose, you ***hole.”
I undid my shift. And I became a dragon. He was hit in the face by my rapidly growing body.
Dallel took advantage of the distraction and cut the man’s spine.
He coughed out in pain.
“You weaklings dare hurt a higher being like myself.”
As a catkin, I smiled.
“You higher beings dare get decimated by weaklings like us.”
He turned quickly, but it was too late.
The one thing I could confirm was that he was human, so my blade found his lunge and pierced it, assuring his death if he couldn’t find healing.
“You little- You’re a monster.”
I grabbed his neck, and he started choking. But I only smiled.
“Not a monster, just a tad psychotic.”
With that. I ripped off his head, then the oddest thing happened.
[The individual Heather (Nickname: Kala) has achieved the proper requirements for system entrance. She can now view the system and understand it’s functions.]
[You have gained the skill, World Domination.]
[The world under your rule now has leveled up to 5. The death of a higher being has fueled your world’s energy.]
[The Faction (God slayers) has declared war on you.]
[You have gained the skill, Truth.]
[Your title has changed from god of lies, to World’s Mother.]
[The mind Rose is now considered the dominant mind until the mind Kala can regenerate.]
[The Supreme Faction has made peace with you. You have received a blessing.]
[Your mana is low, do you wish to draw on the world.]
“No.”
[Understood, your mana has drained to its dredges, but you refuse to draw on the world.]
[You gained the title, Sacrificer. You now can take mana and life from any opponent in the same league as you or lower.]
[Your true level has reached 15. Your Health and Mana have restored to full.]
“Check, Celios.”
------------------
Name: Celios
Level: 10
Race: Diety
Age: 704935
HP: 7450/87000000
MP: 200/100000000
Skills:
King’s wrath: 5
Fallen grace: 3
Divine aspect: 9
Sword king: 8
Wind divination: MAX
???????????????: ?
Titles:
Fallen king
Dominator
King of the Skies
Hero
Murderer
The Outlaster
--------------
“Huh, what’s with the question marks?”
[System error. Individual Celios has lost skills due to using unique skill Self Destruction. As a result, the system is still regaining information.]
“Kala, who are you talking to?”
“Something odd.”
Dallel and the other adventurers immediately raised their weapons. Of course.
“Explain, now.”
I sighed and prepared to explain, but Kala spoke.
“It’s time for you to know, I guess. The reason Rose sides with me.”
“Are you sure, Kala?”
“Yes.”
They realized that I disconnected from Kala after the fight and seemed to be less tense. Then Kala said something that confused them.
“Could you maintain your body?”
“Of course.”
Then the same thing that happened during the fight against Celios and Dallel happened again. My body started falling apart. Then Kala’s face was uncovered and more and more of it came uncovered.
Amy had long since frozen by this point. She could barely breathe.
Then it finished and Kala stood in the form she had as a human.
“It can’t be…”
“Amy? What do you mean?”
Amy ignored Celios’s question.
“Heather? Is that really you?”
Kala smiled sadly.
“Hi Amy, it’s been a while.”
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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I definitely should not be bouncing between your two stories, but I'm making notes as I go so hopefully I don't trip myself up!
I think in your other story your strength lies in your pacing being more controlled and really building up your characters. When you edit this one, I'd take what you've learned by writing that one and apply it here. There's a lot going on in all these chapters and it can feel especially overwhelming when there's a constant face pace. We need some down time and some description to just balance it out a bit more.
The character development it pretty strong though. Rose is clearly getting much more powerful, and this feels like we're going into the final arc of the story because how much further can we really go?
I'd still recommend posting chapters individually because I think you'll get more detailed feedback, but if you are going to post them together it would be helpful to put the chapter names/numbers in bold throughout the text. Sometimes I've missed that I've started a new chapter and it throws me off a bit.
The shock factor here is a great plot point - I think with a bit more description of her body falling apart you'd really cement the exciting reveal!
Looking forward to the next part.
Icy
This story was the first big one I actually wrote and i have written it to completion. I do plan on doing a rewrite when chapter 150 is released. But until then, this is what it looks like. The Prime Control is with the more refined style that I hope to translate over to the rewrite, thank you for all your criticism though, I greatly appreciate it
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the jinxed S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - Amy and Kala continue their battle. Afterwards, Kala and Celios are going to fight, but just when they’re about to begin, an oddly powerful human man takes them away and tells them to join him in his mission to destroy the world and enslave the ruler. Kala declines and decides that he must die!
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - There was an e for "lung”, but that’s just one minor thing.
Chocolate Bar - Omg the REVEAL?! That was insane! I think that my favorite parts of this collection of chapters was when the mysterious man was fighting Celios and Kala (Seriously, what kind of human is he? He must have infinite power or something.) and when Kala became Heather and revealed herself to Amy. Every time I think that she’s reached her full potential, another chapter comes in and proves me wrong. I can’t wait to see how far she’s going to go.
Closing Graham Cracker - To think that she started this story as Rose the dragon and is now Heather/Kala, the mother of the world. It’s just wonderful that she’s gone higher up in her power, and I just know that she’s going to make some big changes to her world.
I wish you a fantastic day/night! ^v^