Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.
Using my dragon form I flew for a while. I shifted into a catkin in a forest and then went to an unfamiliar city. There was a line.
I heard someone here was a high priest of one of my children. I was waiting in line when a guard came up.
“Name and business.”
“Grace, and I want to visit the temple.”
“I see. A pilgrim, huh? Too bad beastkin arent allowed in the temple.”
“What? Why?”
A human woman behind me answered the question.
“Because your kind is filthy and would defile the temple of the god king.”
It seems Celios’s replacement is the one worshiped here.
“Oh well. I guess I could look at it from outside then.”
They were silent for a moment. I guess that they usually saw more arguments. Then I heard some people.
“Did you hear about a dragon that claimed to be the true ruler of gods?”
“No way, and people believed it?”
“Yeah, the rumor even says that she beat Celios in combat.”
The woman behind me had something to say.
“It’s probably just a joke. I heard it as well, but it’s more likely that it was a kid playing make believe and someone heard it and brought it out of proportion.”
“Actually...”
Everyone looked at me.
“I met the dragon and felt her power. Frankly I’m inclined to believe her.”
Someone snorted.
“Of course, a beastkin would believe a dragon.”
“I mean, I also saw Celios. He was basically at her beck and call. It was almost uncanny.”
More people started laughing.
“Oh, and let me guess, she rules Selethon?”
“No, but the king is an ally of he’s and he supported it.”
“Ah, so it’s propaganda, you do realize that it is more likely that he got a dragon and a powerful mage and merely claimed that’s who they were?”
“You do realize that no self-respecting god would let mockery like a fake last?”
“They’ll probably get smited.”
“Maybe, but they were way too powerful to be normal, either way.”
Then a human spoke up.
“Actually, I was just in Selethon not too long ago, the dragon was already recognized as the host of a god beforehand, and when I passed through, I saw the one they called Celios, and frankly, I’d believe that it was Celios.”
“Did you actually see the dragon?”
“No, she was in a coma from a major battle, so access to see her was restricted to close friends.”
“I see, a god can’t enter a coma.”
I spoke.
“That’s a foolish statement.”
The woman glared at me.
“Oh?”
“Gods can take damage, so it makes sense that if she used enough power, or even clashed with another god, then she may have taken enough damage to be in a coma.”
A guy in front of me nodded.
“That makes sense to me. I still doubt she’s actually a god, but I’d have to meet her.”
“Yeah, I met her, so I am confident that she is a god. Her aura alone was causing nature to prosper.”
“I see.”
They mostly stopped their jeering as more people began to agree it was possible.
_
I entered the city. It was cold, made sense. I went on my way to the church and saw a powerful temple. It was dripping with the aura of one of my children, so I knew he visited often.
“Silith’s temple. No wonder he doesn’t let in beastkin; he and Ausar are rivals.”
“A beastkin knowing religion. That’s rare.”
I turned to see a man.
“I took to reading books when I was young. You are the high priest, correct?”
“And you have an eye for the attribute. Interesting. If you weren’t surprised to see that it was Lord Silith’s temple, I would assume you were an agent of Ausar.”
“I actually was looking to meet him.”
“Ah, he is coming tomorrow, but you would only be able to watch him enter as-”
“Beastkin aren’t allowed to enter.”
“I see you understand. That is wonderful.”
“Thank you for the help. Now I know when I can see him.”
“Pardon me, but what’s your name?”
“It’s Grace.”
“Wonderful, I am Jerico.”
I wandered and went into a high-profile inn.
“Hey, Cat. Go scramble back to the slums.”
What a warm welcome from the innkeep.
“Actually, I wanted to rent a room.”
He snorted.
“As though a cat like you could afford one of these rooms.”
“How much?”
“10000 gold.”
He was lying.
“Wow, then you must be the biggest scam artist in the nation.”
I called his bluff and his smirk turned to a frown.
“Fine, 100.”
“That poster says 10.”
“That was a sale.”
“Why are you lying? I’ll give you 10 gold for one night. It’s not like I’ll cause trouble.”
“Listen cat. We don’t like your kind here.”
“Ah, so you won’t let me pay for a room? If you turn away your customers, then there’s no way you could afford to stay above.”
“I’ll call the guards.”
“For what? Asking for a room that I’d pay for?”
He realized he was in a checkmate and reluctantly allowed me to rent a room. I also bought a bottle of wine, and they realized that I could potentially afford even the outrageous price that the innkeep first suggested.
I sealed the door and fell asleep, only to wake up in the middle of the night to someone trying to break down the door.
“How is this door so strong?”
“Even the spare key doesn’t work.”
“She must have warded it.”
“Try the knob again.”
“Alri-”
They paused, turned slowly, and blanched at the sight of me smiling.
“Robbers, huh?”
_
“I have a delivery of two robbers.”
I dragged in the two men who were bound to the guard station.
“Robbers?”
The same guard who I met at the gate was surprised to see me again.
“Yes, they were attempting to break down the door to my inn room, so I bound them and brought them here.”
“Huh, why were you two doing that?”
“She had a lot of money, there’s no way she could have that much gold, so we thought to take it as evidence and bring it in.”
“*Sigh* Listen, just because beastkin are disliked by our god doesn’t mean each one of them is a thief or killer.”
The guard was really rational.
“I’m going to have to hold you two for a few hours.”
“Hours?”
I thought it would be a whole day.
“Yeah, whenever Lord Silith shows up, all prisoners are released, and they get blessed to not do crime again.”
“Huh.”
“Well, you can go back to your room now.”
“Thank you.”
I went back and slept instantly.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Hello Again, My Friend!
It's me, Raven, and I'd like to review the next chapter in this great story using my Familiar method! Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh...
What The Black Eyes See...
Ooo, Kala finds the temple of one of her children, Silith, and is not received well by the locals. We got some great hints about what this god may or may not be like, and an amusing scene of Kala wrecking robbers and illogical nonsense like the innkeeper's -just like Rose would! Let's get into the details though.
Where The Dagger Points...
There's only one thing I noticed this time!
I think there may have been a minor typo here, and "he's" is supposed to be "his." That is all, good writing job ~
Why The Grin Widened...
(haha, I found the keyboard controls for copy/paste! Behold, quotes! >:D )
Wow! To start, a problem in the world that I remember being more prominent toward the beginning, before -understandably- losing focus as the entire world seems to come under threat with warring gods, dragons, and dragon-gods;
Oh snap! The reaction to beastkin here is so vile! Then the random people around, speaking so dismissively of Kala's story, it really showed the disrespect and contempt that they have. If this is how their followers act, it's already easy to assume that there's going to be trouble, or at least some negative traits, about this god...
Getting these clues about the god, Silith, and a rival named Ausar, was great staging for what's to come; it's already clear that there's something about beastkin that ticks off this god, so how will "Grace" be received when she catches up to the next god? Will the people continue to give her trouble? Intriguing...
Love how Kala just wrecked the innkeeper's logic for not giving her a room, then easily caught the robbers. And...
The rational guard was a nice balance to show some differing opinions and that not everybody in the city is like this. Very good!
Our
MadThoughts...Overall, that was an awesome chapter, nicely done!
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the mutated S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - Kala shows up to a city as someone named Grace, who wants to visit Silith’s temple to check on her child. The city doesn’t like Beastkin, but little do they know that she is more than her appearance…
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I think that you meant to write “her’s” when you’re talking about the King being Kala’s ally, but if not, then please ignore this.
Chocolate Bar - I love how Kala called out the innkeep for the way he was treating her unfairly. It doesn’t matter that she could afford the high pay, he was only raising the price because he wanted to deny her a room. I also like how the robbers immediately felt fear when they saw that Kala was awake! :>
Closing Graham Cracker - Everyone thinks that Kala is Grace, but what will she do once Lord Silith comes? How will she react? Will she hide? Will he notice her at all? I’ll have to see…
I wish you a fantastic day/night! ^v^