Young Writers Society

I'll start off by saying that I really like the simplicity of the way this poem is written, although I will say that the first stanza makes a little more thematic sense to me. Don't get me wrong I like the entirety of this poem, but the second stanza, leads me to a different tone and feeling than the first.

The first stanza made me think that the poem was about an elephant that felt itself lonesome, due to it's position in the animal kingdom. The second stanza on the other hand, makes me think that I should feel sympathy for the elephant, because of the "feed off the pity" line I also not sure what you where trying to emphasize with the "in the room below" line.

Still though, not a bad poem, but maybe if you could make it a little more longer to put more emphasis on what you're trying to say.

8.5/10

I quite liked this. When I first clicked on the poem, I wasn't quite sure what I was expecting to read based off of the title. When I started the poem, I was actually a little confused and as I read more of poem and finished it, I got even MORE confused. This is not a bad thing at all - it's actually quite good because it's making me (the reader) think about the poem in depth and try to figure out what you (the author) is saying.

I understand that this is a societal reference, and that being at the top of the social pyramid isn't always the best place to be. You're quite right in the poem, being in a position of high power and social status doesn't necessarily mean many personal friends and experiences. Sometimes, the people at the bottom of the social pyramid are those who are closest with each other because the pasts they share and the way they are sometimes forced to befriend each other and make each other family because of the upper class pushing them into big groups. I think saying that the lower class pities the upper class is a great outlook, and one that isn't used enough. There are, yes, so many benefits the upper class has that the lower class does not...but there are so many more aspects of life that the upper class misses out on that the lower class can experience in full, and for those experiences they pity the upper class.

That's just my interpretation. For the line that reads "in the room down below" I, for some reason, am imagining a sort of party or theater event where the poor/lower class don't get as good of the higher up seats like the upper class. But the lower class are all together in the pit on the floor (or the room below), and the upper class are all alone in their individual seats overlooking everything else. That's definitely how I picture this all set up.

Such a lovely piece, I'm a big fan! Keep writing, and keep making your readers think...it's a skill that's hard to have and you definitely have it.

Hi, Indiee!

Wow, I really didn't know what to make of this of first. I knew I liked it for some reason, but my feelings weren't all the way in tune with my brain. And then I realized why. Now, please correct me if I'm wrong on this, but this is my interpretation of your poem.

It starts at your title, "White Elephant". I was thinking, the elephant isn't really top of the food chain, but then I looked at the first part of the title and thought maybe it was a race thing, not an animal kingdom thing. Going off of that assumption, I've gathered that the "White Elephant" symbolizes "the man". Don't let the man get you down! Now, after coming to that conclusion, your second stanza confused me just a bit, particularly the second line.

to feed off the#00BF00 "> pity

its very simple ....but Purposeful

It is so simple, yet so touching. It really has a deep meaning.