Hey Indie!
I'm always excited when I come across one of your poems ^^ One day, perhaps I shall hear you recite them
Someone once told me
that he could lose himself
in my bloodstream.
This really stuck with me, I absolutely love the imagery of this labyrinth/network of blood vessels and the tie-in to the GPS/womb, I feel like that is a really tight connection there, and unique as well in the execution and build up. That second stanza says a lot to me, and I appreciate the conciseness here. My interpretation here is how often we're giving others advice, and being strong for others, while also being lost and scared and small ourselves -- we're all going through it ^^; That is a rich stanza because I'm right there with the speaker and the "He" and the maze sort of draws you into it, doesn't it?
Now, the next stanza sort of reiterates / clarifies that second stanza. I'm sort of typing up this review as I'm reading along -- so I'm happy that my interpretation is the intended interpretation When it comes to poetry, I normally hate reiterations/superfluous -- my philosophy is say it once, say it right. HOWEVER, I think you meant this as a spoken word piece, and when it comes to spoken word and performance - clarity is key - and repetition can lend itself to amazing effects, while also keeping your audience up to speed/in the same mindframe, sooooo it's up to you and what you think here.
The ending is a beautiful message and a great progression from beginning to end. Well done
~ as always, Audy
Points: 5533
Reviews: 696
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