Crescent Landings

Helo, Indee.

Something about your poem is really appealing. I can't say what it is exactly, though, as they two stanzas didn't exactly fit together at first glance, and I was more confused than awed. That was, however, before I took the time to take a deeper look, and I will say, this poem requires a lot of analyzing to try and get what the topic is about.

This is both something good and something bad. Good, because AP English buffs like me were basically brainwashed into the ways of analytic reflection, and reading this, trying to figure out the meaning, was actually a lot of fun. It also helps if you're big into Sherlock - deductions! However, this could also be really bad, because some people might not take the time to sit down and contemplate the possibilities of what this poem could mean. But, then again, I've got a feeling that the people described in the latter are not your targeted audience.

There are crescent moons
imprinted in the skin
of my palm, canker sores
in my gums like craters
of things I thought
could never be said

Hey Indie,
I will be reviewing your poem. Soooo basically I do not really get what the poem is about. It needs length color polish finishing and basically everything. It sort of looks like a piece of draft that you hurriedly had written somewhere without thinking twice or going with the flow! This is simply not good. I suggest you first clear your mind and then think abiut what you want to write after that allow yourself to filled with ideas till the brim and after that jot them down patiently with out losing you focus and concentration...if you are successfully able to do the feat then your skills will sharpen to a great extent and also you will be able to write much better stuff.

Hey Indie,
I will be reviewing your poem. Soooo basically I do not really get what the poem is about. It needs length color polish finishing and basically everything. It sort of looks like a piece of draft that you hurriedly had written somewhere without thinking twice or going with the flow! This is simply not good. I suggest you first clear your mind and then think abiut what you want to write after that allow yourself to filled with ideas till the brim and after that jot them down patiently with out losing you focus and concentration...if you are successfully able to do the feat then your skills will sharpen to a great extent and also you will be able to write much better stuff.

Hey indieeloise! My name is Scarlett and I'll be reviewing your poetry tonight. ^^

Wow, Indiee. This is amazing. I love it. But I just have one problem; it doesn't feel finished, and the flow is slightly disjointed--but that's not a huge problem. Sometimes, people prefer that. I think it works here, though. It's definitely missing *something*, but I'm not sure what. Perhaps you could add something to this? The ending is a little abrupt, and it was just starting to get good!

I don't have anything more to say other than it's good, but not the best, and with a few little fiddles, it'll be really good. I suggest adding another couple of stanzas to it. Despite this, I do like it so far, and that's a good thing. Revise it and please let me know. I'll be sure to come back and read it again! This is a wonderful and interesting little poem. Thanks for the poetry! I hope this review helps, somehow. ^^

Remember; keep it up and never stop writing!

~Scar. <3

Hi there, Indie.

I like your ideas, and the way you illustrate them. The ending is nice, too. That being said, I think this needs a little polishing.

Honestly, I'm not quite sure what you're trying to say. It's rather vague (I'm sorry if it's due to my stupidity). The sentence structure of the first stanza I think is what's messing me up there. The second stanza is pretty, but I don't know why this person crumbled your mouth to dust. I want more feeling toward this person or thing. I don't know if they crumbled your mouth to dust because they said something awful, or because they said something important and enlightening and left you speechless. Make sure that the reader knows if the person in the second stanza is the hero or the villain.

Now on to more nitpicky things.
If I were you, I'd rearrange the words in the first stanza to more clearly reflect the message. I would rearrange it like this:

crescent moons imprint
themselves into the skin
of my palm, and craters
canker my gums
like impossible words.

but when your
clean white suit
and static landed
in my atmosphere,
your words
crumbled my mouth
to dust

but you landed
with strange ideas
and blue hair
in my atmosphere
to crumble
my mouth
to dust