Would he cry?

Wow. Just... wow. Amazing! The emotion is so profound and well-expressed. I love the wistful, hopeful, and almost disappointed tone taken on by the narrator. You are very good at expressing emotion in poetry. I have read other works of yours and the theme remains. The only negative I can find is flow. Flow is so incredibly hard to master, and my poetry suffers in emotion because I focus on the flow. Yours is vice-versa. The punctuation at the end of lines is nonexistent or out of place. Some lines are not capitalized. Some lines are too long. In order to keep up a steady beat and rhythm, you have to keep a similar syllable count for each word in each line. Also, the rhyme scheme is a bit all over the place, and that is caused by the irregular length of the lines. Seriously, fixing this poem could be as simple as splitting a few lines and switching a few words around. Fine poetry needs fine tuning. You have the potential to be one of the finest poets I have ever had the pleasure to read. You have the talent. You have the emotion. Now all you need to do is get the flow. Best wishes, and keep writing!

Wow. This is amazing. My eyes actually started watering on this....It's so sad and has so much emotion and depth and....amazingniss? Beauty, creativity, and feeling.

That is all the review I can manage.

This is an amazing piece.

Keep writing.

~Rainn

I loved this piece. I actually got chills reading this, and that is mostly because i can relate. I agree with Nightowl about the sacrafice line, it doesn't make much sense. I love the fact it tells a story of time passing, and it can be very clearly seen. There is enough imagery that I don't feel it needs more, and there is emotion, but there can always me more added. I truely enjoyed reading this piece.

This poem is really good. It describes the relationship between a father and daughter, but feel there could be more emotion in there you have the ability to show it more love or sadness.

This poem is very moving. I love the progression throughout a girl's life and how her relationship with her father changes through the years. Though I have not witnessed the affects of divorce first hand, I know many people who have, and I have seen what that can do to them. This poem perfectly explains the feelings and changes that happen when a distance is formed between a father and his daughter. It's a sad thing and this poem captured that sadness. The only question I have is "she resists being sacrificed to the one he wed?" I don't understand the sacrificed part, does this new woman not like the daughter? I don't know, maybe rewording that line would make it more clear? But of course, that is just a suggestion since I also believe that this poem is fantastic the way it is. That was just a little thing I questioned. Five owls out of five.
~Nightlyowl