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140,623 Literary Works • 673,564 Reviews
Hey indie! Well this is a nice poem, very natural in its format and style. It's rare that I commend someone on writing a successful romantic poem, but this is lovely. And the second stanza...ugh, I just adore it. It's as though it'd be funny if it weren't almost a slap in the face. Actually, it's still pretty funny, but in a bitter and sardonic sort of way.
This has a muted, soporific air to it, almost a sad and reminiscent it's-midnight-and-I'm-crying-in-my-car-listening-to-sad-music-oh-crap-what-am-i-doing kind of feeling (this was not a hard intuitive leap to make, honestly and obviously, but I hope you get my point). It was simplistic but poignant.
There's not much to say, truthfully. The rhythm is nice, the "aura" of it is lovely, the mood accurate and elaborated in a very clever way. My only wish is that it was longer.
Keep writing, and best wishes. xxx
You are simply amazing. Oh! How I love it.
Nevertheless, Animal is here to
save the worldreview.Hannah, I really fell in love with this poem.
Wow! This is amazing. And I get that why aren't you capitalizing Ray Lamontagne or anything for that instance. Title says it all. And that 'mouth to kiss' thing can be replaced with something clean like 'lips to kiss'. So, let's move on.
Whoa! That's got potential. 'underestimated pronoun' Haha. I love the way that how you expressed that feeling saying the 'underestimated pronoun'. That was the best line, I think. OK! So here you already told that I forgot to capitalize. This poem is living to it's title.
A good ending but I say it isn't better than the last stanza. Put some more expressions in there. But nevertheless, I still like it and now I am not surprised for you for winning those many contests. You are just amazing and may I recommend something. Try writing a poem that rhymes. It adds beauty to the poem. Though, it's my personal opinion.
i like this. the flow is nice and the tone is there. i never thought about my writing style being reflected by my state of mind before. its a very interesting idea and you have done a great job interpreting that down as a short little phase.
it seems to have just come from your state of mind from that particular time of night. also making it sound like a writing just before sleep time. like last words before the end of the day and the beginning of a new state of mind for the next day.
sorry i may be reading too far into this for my own good. just rambling. keep it up.