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Love Affair

by brookeallo


I keep telling myself that I must not fall, 

I find myself trying to be strong. 

It is in your presence that I become weak,

Your smile itself bringing me to my knees.

It's in the way that you show your self

never afraid to be who you are.

It's when I arrive early and you smile as you see me there.

Your eyes light up and you make me aware.

I've felt this way before,

and by know I can say I'm scared

For this is the beginning,

of a new love affair. 


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509 Reviews


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Tue Sep 03, 2019 12:17 am
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Magestorrow wrote a review...



Hey there, brookeallo! I'm here to review your work.

Your poem's title suggests that the poem is about an affair. As someone who has never been in a situation like that before, I found this poem surprisingly relatable. You did a great job capturing what it's like to fall in love with someone - even when you know you shouldn't be.

The lines all flowed together, despite being relatively short. I enjoyed that - it's hard to find a poem that does something like that all the way through. I also enjoyed the lack of a rhyming scheme. Rhymes are a great thing to include in poetry, but, like all literary tools, they have their limits. The lack of poetry made the poem feel more personal.

I don't really have any specific critiques on your poem. The only one that I can think of is that you made a typo in one of the last lines - you put "know" instead of "now".

and by know I can say I'm scared


You might also want to touch more on the affair part. As I mentioned at the start of my review, this poem can easily come across as a regular love poem. I would elaborate more on why this love is so dangerous to the narrator - it would help the reader feel more conflicted when reading through this poem.

Other than that, your poem looks great! It has a lot of memorable lines, and this feel likes the kind of poem I'd want to do a reread of.

I can't wait to read more of your work.

Happy #RevMo !

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Sun Aug 25, 2019 5:02 pm
rosej says...



Hi love,
this was really good. its so true you cant control your thoughts. there were only a few grammatical mistakes.
loads of love
Rose




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Wed Aug 21, 2019 3:45 am
Horisun says...



Hello! I hope your having a good night! This was a really great poem, the wording was great, and the flow was really nice. I do think some figurative language might improve it a bit, but it was great without it, anyway.
"Know" should be "now"
Other than that, this was a really nice poem, pat yourself on the back for a job well done. I look forward to reading more works from you!
Keep on writing!




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218 Reviews


Points: 1426
Reviews: 218

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Wed Aug 21, 2019 3:44 am
Horisun wrote a review...



Hello! I hope your having a good night! This was a really great poem, the wording was great, and the flow was really nice. I do think some figurative language might improve it a bit, but it was great without it, anyway.
"Know" should be "now"
Other than that, this was a really nice poem, pat yourself on the back for a job well done. I look forward to reading more works from you!
Keep on writing!




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Sat Aug 17, 2019 10:44 pm
Zrillis wrote a review...



First off, ill say im not a fan of this non rhythm poem style.

But for the reveiew
I feel as if you tried to rhyme but its not a strong or consistent rhyme. I didnt see any major errors so thats good. This has the imagery to it, but i feel as if its lacking something. I dont know why but it leaves me unsatisfied.

Ok i got my critique out of the way. Your structure is good and you have some good images. Keep writing and crisp up your execution



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brookeallo says...


I wasn't trying to rhyme it was just kind of coming out from what I was thinking that way. I'm sorry that itr leaves you unsatisfied but I checked your account and you don't even write poetry so I'm not really sure that you could give a good review if you don't really understand poetry. Just my views as someone whose written poems my whole life.



Zrillis says...


Um so because i dont put a poem on this means I don't write poetry? Cool nice to know guess all my poems are fake then %uD83D%uDC4C




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