I keep telling myself that I must not fall,
I find myself trying to be strong.
It is in your presence that I become weak,
Your smile itself bringing me to my knees.
It's in the way that you show your self
never afraid to be who you are.
It's when I arrive early and you smile as you see me there.
Your eyes light up and you make me aware.
I've felt this way before,
and by know I can say I'm scared
For this is the beginning,
of a new love affair.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Hey there, brookeallo! I'm here to review your work.
Your poem's title suggests that the poem is about an affair. As someone who has never been in a situation like that before, I found this poem surprisingly relatable. You did a great job capturing what it's like to fall in love with someone - even when you know you shouldn't be.
The lines all flowed together, despite being relatively short. I enjoyed that - it's hard to find a poem that does something like that all the way through. I also enjoyed the lack of a rhyming scheme. Rhymes are a great thing to include in poetry, but, like all literary tools, they have their limits. The lack of poetry made the poem feel more personal.
I don't really have any specific critiques on your poem. The only one that I can think of is that you made a typo in one of the last lines - you put "know" instead of "now".
You might also want to touch more on the affair part. As I mentioned at the start of my review, this poem can easily come across as a regular love poem. I would elaborate more on why this love is so dangerous to the narrator - it would help the reader feel more conflicted when reading through this poem.
Other than that, your poem looks great! It has a lot of memorable lines, and this feel likes the kind of poem I'd want to do a reread of.
I can't wait to read more of your work.
Happy #RevMo !
Hi love,
this was really good. its so true you cant control your thoughts. there were only a few grammatical mistakes.
loads of love
Rose
Hello! I hope your having a good night! This was a really great poem, the wording was great, and the flow was really nice. I do think some figurative language might improve it a bit, but it was great without it, anyway.
"Know" should be "now"
Other than that, this was a really nice poem, pat yourself on the back for a job well done. I look forward to reading more works from you!
Keep on writing!
Hello! I hope your having a good night! This was a really great poem, the wording was great, and the flow was really nice. I do think some figurative language might improve it a bit, but it was great without it, anyway.
"Know" should be "now"
Other than that, this was a really nice poem, pat yourself on the back for a job well done. I look forward to reading more works from you!
Keep on writing!
First off, ill say im not a fan of this non rhythm poem style.
But for the reveiew
I feel as if you tried to rhyme but its not a strong or consistent rhyme. I didnt see any major errors so thats good. This has the imagery to it, but i feel as if its lacking something. I dont know why but it leaves me unsatisfied.
Ok i got my critique out of the way. Your structure is good and you have some good images. Keep writing and crisp up your execution
I wasn't trying to rhyme it was just kind of coming out from what I was thinking that way. I'm sorry that itr leaves you unsatisfied but I checked your account and you don't even write poetry so I'm not really sure that you could give a good review if you don't really understand poetry. Just my views as someone whose written poems my whole life.
Um so because i dont put a poem on this means I don't write poetry? Cool nice to know guess all my poems are fake then %uD83D%uDC4C