Storm

Hi there! I enjoyed this poem, especially your rhyme scheme at the end. It's actually raining where I'm at right now so I thought it was very appropriate lol.

One thing that I think would help the general flow of your poem would be to use more commas rather than periods, or rather not breaking up your sentences with periods. You use them at the end and I loved how it all flowed together.

"The wind is ablaze, the tree branches shake, I stand in the middle of a clearing, contempt on my face. The storm is coming, I just sat here to wait." That part was great!

The beginning was where you ended a lot of your lines with periods which broke up a few sentences and led to it feeling a lot more disconnected.

"The storm is coming. I can see it swirl. The people are running. Leaving the storm far behind. Their cars in drive."

Maybe try this instead:

"The storm is coming, I can see it swirl. The people are running, leaving the storm far behind, their cars in drive."

That's just a suggestion, but I think it would really help the flow of your poem a lot, because when you break up sentences into fragments in a poem it leads to the lines feeling disconnected from one another.

Overall, I really enjoyed this poem and I'm excited to read more from you! Keep writing!

Hi!
I really liked this poem. It was powerful, especially in the last few lines. I thought it was just going to be describing the destruction that comes with a storm, but then I realized it was a lot deeper than that. That was really cool.
I like how you don’t soften the beginning and you just go flat-out into it by saying that the storm’s coming. That, at least in my mind, reflected how harsh the storm is, that it doesn’t have a soft start, a drizzle before the rain. It has a definite start. I don’t know if that’s just me imagining things weirdly, but it was great either way.
I would only change a few things. In the second line, ‘began’ should be ‘begin’. Also, in the third to last line, I don’t completely understand why they would be contemptuous when they’re just waiting. That might just be me, though.
Hope this helps!
-Rana Noodles

Hello, @brookeallo!

This is a very good poem. You definitely have a talent in literature! There aren't that many mistakes that I caught. This is a very short literary piece, yet it is still thought to have a lot of effort put into it.
Again, there are no really obvious mistakes, other than the beginning. It didn't really hook me in like other poems you have written.
Overall, this is not alike my other reviews, mainly because of the fact there really isn't anything to criticize. I'm not even exaggerating, almost everything is perfect.
Well, as always, merry Christmas and keep writing!

~@SuperOriginalName