Young Writers Society

Hello! I must say, I really enjoyed this poem. It was a very good way to put it. It is better to understand what is happening if you make it as if the Earth has feelings. It can be very hard to read about what is happening, and what we are doing, but you make easy to read. I didn't really see any spelling mistakes, except in the fifth to last line you put "thank" and "you" together into one word (thankyou). Besides that, your punctuation, spelling, and grammar is all fine. Keep on writing and Merry (early) Christmas!!

Hello brookeallo!

First I want to say wonderful job. This poem is quite simply amazing and it is a wake up call to everyone. You portrayed this very well.

Suggestions

My first suggestion is to add more punctuation throughout the poem. Lines such as Why do you do this for all of us(?) Should have a question mark as the end. In this poem you seem to be speaking in sentences and questions, so punctuation makes the poem feel less like one great big line of words and more like a story.

brookeallo wrote: Thankyou earth.

First of all this poem is so sweet! I love how it is supposed to be a letter and yet you make it a poem 🥰 if the world was a person I think that he or she would be so happy that there is some goodness on this Earth.

Definitely a 4 out of 5👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

Good Job @brookeallo!!! Great poem👏🏼👍🏼👍🏼

P.S.

There is still hope that we can turn back the clock to when this Earth flourished with lush green and shimmery waters.

#MakeThatChange #GoGreen 🌎🌍🌏

This was a bittersweet ode to Earth. It starts out so brutally honest and ends with an air of hope and reassurance while closing with a final callout to the guilty people of Earth.

I even like how this opened. We started out in a bird's-eye-view of the planet Earth and personify the planet with its decision to continue rotating around the sun. It almost elevates the Earth to a level of godliness, having the power to simply give up on us and allow us to die off without question.

If you think about it, it's kind of eerie, and space is such a good backdrop for eeriness or the unknown. To draw the image of a once-brightly-colored Earth now painted in dull tones was really strong in my mind and nearly broke my heart to think about.

I especially loved this line:

Money makes us bleed