Young Writers Society

A collection of poems I wrote about an ex. (The bolded parts are beginnings to each new poem) 

Name  is an asshole. He is my ex the one who bulldozed through my walls.

The one who made me fall again and again, but in the end chose to leave.

He is not the one, or the love of my life and I may have been a stupid girl,

But now I see the truth of what I want, and what I deserve.

I hate him for the pain he put me through.

I hate him for the way he hurt me and acted like it didn’t even matter.

I despise him for making me believe in love again.

I want to hurt him for the way he hurts his little sister by telling her she isn't good enough.

I want to break him down for what he did to me and every girl in between.

I want him to feel the pain he puts others through.

I want him to realize that he isn’t perfect.

He isn’t a walking god and he can’t leave destruction in his wake.

I want him to know that he isn’t too good for others.

I want him to know that I saw something in him,

And maybe just possibly it was just a flicker of hope,

Because knowing me I want to believe everyone could be good,

But there truly was something in his bright hopeful green eyes,

I really do think he could be nice. I think he could be good.

There's something there he just has to try.

But I could be wrong. Maybe I should stop trying to prove he isn't so horrible,

For the track record shows that he is nothing but an asshole.

I hate him not only because of what he did to me,

But because I know he does it to other girls,

And for that he deserves to bleed.

Strong, amazing women have fallen at his feet,

He tricks them into loving him,

Just like he did with me.

I hate him a lot right now.

For all the things he has done,

But I will say thankyou,

Because he led me to what I have become.

And he made me cry a thousand times,

But I got up off the floor a thousand and one,

And because of that I have become the strong woman I am today.

So I will thank him for all the pain because it changed everything.

Now today I realize my worth and exactly what I deserve.

We used to talk about who would win in a race.

You always said I would win because you would let me.

It’s three weeks later and you did technically let me win.

See you let me win the race to fall in love,

But what I didn’t know was that you weren’t even trying.

You dropped out of the race before it even began,

And I was stupid and naive and didn’t look back once,

Because I truly believed you were right behind me.

You let me win a race I didn’t want to win,

And it wasn’t to make me happy,

Because this pain you left me with isn’t making me happy.

I don’t want to win this race if your not even trying.

I don’t want to feel this pain that leaves me up crying.

I won the race but the prize was complete and utter destruction,

My trophy is labeled, “heartbroken,” and it’s made of the thinnest metal,

So when I got mad and threw it from my arms it broke,

And not just in half or thirds but it broke completely,

The pieces shattered the ground and even today I am still picking them up.

Collecting the pieces of a trophy I didn’t want, because of a race you let me win.

I can't sleep and it’s honestly a normal everyday thing for me.

I try to lay down or close my eyes but my body is wide awake.

I jump up and I clean or dance in the kitchen until dawn,

When I go another day without sleep.

It’s been so long since I’ve laid down my head,

Even just for a small nap or thirty minutes of rest.

I'm laughing and listening to music and my eyes are so wet.

It's a happiness that I get and it takes away all the pain I feel.

The lack of sleep blurs life and anything that hurts me is no longer real.

I know I should go to sleep but I’m scared,

Because when my head touches the pillow I imagine it's your chest.

I think I’m falling asleep in your arms, but I’m not because you're gone.

I think i will stay up until I just can’t take it anymore

It's the only way you can’t haunt me no more.

My dreams won't be filled with your bright green eyes,

They will just be filled with the blackness from my closed lids,

And the best thing is I wont wake up this time,

And so you will never be able to cross my mind. 

I jammed out to Lizzo in the kitchen with my mom and my cat.

I slept in till 3 p.m. which is something I hadn’t done since you left me.

I sang truth hurts at the top of my lungs. I laughed and I smiled.

You didn’t completely break me. You didn't completely destroy who I am.

I can still smile, and laugh, and jam out to music. I can still be happy,

And so I thrive and I live my life and even if you hurt me I’m still alright,

And I am doing great, my smiles coming back and it’s all without you.

I barely even thought of you today and I didn’t stalk your socials.

You weren’t able to get in my way. So yes today has been a great day!