Young Writers Society

Hey there! Uni here for a review.
How are you doing? Hope you are fine.
Sorry for not reviewing this earlier!

I'm so excited to be back and start reviewing your poem! Hope you're doing well today or tonight, depending on what side of the world you're on.
Not a very long poem but deep emotions, I must say. I can relate to the poem very well. And I know most of us can relate to the words and feelings you have put in this literary work.
So let us start.
First of all, I have to say you are an amazing poet. Each word struck just the right cord in my heart. I have felt the feelings you have described so beautifully. And I loved the way you presented them. Ten stars for presentation.
Making a poem rhyme at the same time saying everything you want to say is a bit difficult. But not impossible.
Great rhyming scheme, I must say.

'Enough time had gone by,

that I had slowly forgotten the part of you to me that had died.

I'm glad I saw you from behind,

so your eyes didn't have the chance to make me go blind. '

I liked these lines because they have such a beautiful meaning. Easily relatable lines. You write so amazingly that I can actually feel it is happening with me, which at this time, is not.

'I have to admit,

that I held my wit.'

I liked the expression in the above mentioned lines. Such short sentences but I could feel the emotions.

'It might have not been easy for me to have walked away,

that day.'

Here, maybe you can fix the sentences a little bit. Just an advice. Again, That's me. You do whatever you like.

Also, make the first letters bold and overall polish and re-edit the poem. That would be enough.
I liked the theme. And I hope you'll post more of your poems.
Have a good day. Keep writing.

Waiting for more.

I liked your writing style. The way the stanzas are.
I must say the poem is very relatable . But in my case , its hard to forget people as they keep walking past me .Lol!
No wonder once forgotten ,they don't hurt anymore.
Keep writing!All the best.

Wesh! I'm Professor Jade and I'm just going to give this a quick review. Let's just go!

This paints a clear picture in my head. It's pretty relatable and hard-hitting. Just go through and check the flow, word choice, and just overall polish it up. Maybe add stanzas and the bold words at the top is unneeded so I don't know if that's an artistic statement or just telling us.

Anyways, sorry this is vague and quick, I'm on a time crunch. I hope this helped !

-Professor JadeLotus

Hello,

This is a really nicely written poem! I like the idea you were conveying here, it was done really well. I could feel emotion from this that a lot of us can relate to. The rhymes are well done too, each line flowed really smoothly to the next. From beginning to end, you stuck with a nice and sad story, and the title fits in really well too.

Keep Writing.

Hello FlaingPhoenix here with a few things to say about your poem, and to help get it out the green room.

Okay let's begin.

So I thought this poem was written really, really well. And I couldn't see a single thing wrong with it, I thought all the punctuation was in the right place giving it the perfect flow, and it helped carry all the emotion over to your reader.
Talking of emotion I though you did that really well, you used just the right words to give it an affect. And I felt sad and re-leaved with the poem, and I could feel all the hurt. It was just really well done, and I don't think I could have done it any better.
I also just love the story you are telling us, it's so sad, and yet most people can relate to it. I no I can in some way.

Over all this was really well written, and I'm really glad I had the chance to read and review this work. I do hope you will post again sometime on YWS. I hope you have a great day or night.

Your friend
FlamingPhoenix.
Reviewing with a fiery passion.