It was a year ago,
when we first met,
It seems so long,
I feel as if I have known you forever.
The year went by,
seemingly fast,
and we gripped onto reality,
in an attempt to make it last.
You made me smile,
More than the rest,
I laughed to your jokes,
I was happy, at my best.
Their were blockades,
and conflicts,
along the way,
But they never stopped us.
Eventually time had stuck with us,
and it was seemingly up to fate,
that we met on that website,
both bored that day.
There was a time,
when were inseperable,
as they would say,
waiting to talk to each other every single day.
You became a big part of my life,
Changed who I am,
you revealed parts of me,
that I didn't know where there.
I didn't expect that you would be my first,
but as our love grew,
temptations arrived,
and soon me and you became us.
We dated,
and it did'nt work out,
but that doesn't really matter
as we still talk even now.
You were my first love,
and our love was true.
I was me,
and you were you.
Even after we broke up,
nothing could change how we loved,
We would stay friends,
for that was what we both wanted.
When I heard you had moved on,
started dating someone else,
I won't lie,
it hurt like hell.
It took some time,
for I needed to heal,
but you promised me you would always be there,
And you were, you never left.
She tried to make you think I was bad,
attempted to make you stop being my friend,
you told me you would never leave me,
not even for her,
I learned a lot,
from the time that we met,
Like true love never dies,
from beginning till the end.
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139,560 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
You made me cry
Hi there ! I wish you are doing good. I am diphylleia and I am happy to know you.
Oh ! True love .. what a subject
I loooved your poem. I loved how you told us your beautiful storie, how you put your feelings inevery word and how I felt them.
It hurts, yes .. but can't complain. Sometimes, it has to.
I can't say more. My mood become worse, I confess. But not because of you at all. Your words made me feel a little better in the same time, maybe because I see that there is someone who understands how I feel.
I am waiting for your next writings. Thank you for sharing with us !
Hello! I liked this poem and I think it is very relatable for those who truly love someone.
"There was a time,
when were inseperable,
as they would say,
waiting to talk to each other every single day.
^Loved this part .It is so true.happens in friendship too ,we can't wait to see our best friends the moment they depart .Even when we have to wait for just twenty-four hours.
you revealed parts of me,
that I didn't know where there.
typo issues there .Otherwise ,true signs of good and real love or even friendship.
When I heard you had moved on,
started dating someone else,
I won't lie,
it hurt like hell.
Again another aspect of love is very well expressed here .Everybody feels jealousy ,especially towards a person who steals attention of our loved ones.We see those people creating a distance between us and our loved ones(which you have written in the later lines).
Also, I loved the last two ending lines. A wonderful ending to a wonderful poem.
WELL DONE!!
Thankyouuu for reviewing!!!%uD83D%uDE03
This is really nicely written! I love all the emotion you were able to convey in showing the whole relationship between these two characters. I've read a lot of poems talking about heartbreak... but this one is different in that everything was still mostly fine even after the break-up... and I really like that. I especially liked the line "soon me and you became us", showing that their relationship was now complete... and the lines "I was me and you were you" to shows them separating. This was a different sort of love story that was beautifully written!
I did see only a few typos... and there are lines where some sort of rhyme scheme was used though this wasn't consistent throughout the whole thing. I don't know if you planned on having a rhyme scheme... but these are just my thoughts. Also, I would recommend maybe using more imagery or metaphors to really enhance this story.
That's all from me! Again, really great job on this, and I hope to read more of your writing!
Thankyou for the reviewww!!!%uD83D%uDE03
Hey, I liked this. I like how it was simpler in word choice, but envoked some of the feelings you would find in a complex poem. It was a pretty good story as well, a guy who wants whats best for the one he's chose, even if it means giving her up to make her happy. Thanks for writing, I look forward to your future works. :3
Thank you:).
Hello there!
This is really cute and sweet. So thoughtful. I enjoyed it. I also like how it was based on a true story. That relationship you two have is worth so much.
I only have two comments. Line 11 would sound smoother if you simply put "laughed at your jokes". "To" just doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Then, line 34, where the apostrophe is misplaced. Simple mistakes, and overall great work!
This is just my opinion, but I think your poem would look much better divided into stanzas. Of course, this is totally up to you. It would improve the aesthetic and mood. It would help to distinguish when the mood changes.
I can't wait to read more of your art!
-M
thankyou so much I am going to seperate it into stanzas and edit it soon but I posted it late last night and was too tired to edit it but I will soon!
Hello, GreenTulip here with a review for you! Sorry, I might be a little rusty; I haven't reviewed anything in quite a while.
When I was reading this, a lot of feelings came up for me. It's been 7-8 months now since I had ended up breaking things off with my (ex)-fiance and we only contact each other for my daughter. I am glad by reading this, that your break up, while devastating to you, didn't ruin the friendship that you both had together. It's always nice to see that remaining friends after a break up isn't always a bad thing and in this case, it seems that it really did help you out even as someone else tried to push you both away from each other.
But alas, time does reveal stuff about people. Stuff we wished we never found out. Like for me, I found out my ex cheated on me, multiple times within the 3 years we were together. Especially after we were engaged, living together, and I had been expecting his children. Time will either show us the better side of the other person or the worst side of them.
I'm glad everything worked out for the best!
Best wishes,
GreenTulip
Thank you for reviewing and I'm sorry to hear about your ex. Me and mine that I wrote this poem about dated for a while and found out that we were better as friends,