[quote]The elevator doors slid open, and Tejal sent me a look of faux hurt. “Now you’re just teasing me. I miss ganging up on Ellie with you. You didn’t make fun of me then.”[/quotes]
Nerds, can you stop being adorable twits for one second. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
Since there's no grammar or spelling problems, I can say that yay, it's review time! And man do I love the atmosphere in this chapter. You do an exceptional job showing how Focci is a fish out of water (I will never apologize for this) on Earth, whether in the variety of cultures or the uncomfortable seating. On that note, your exploration of the adaptation of the human world to the variety of other worlds and sentient species, while only in the background of the chapter, has to be my favorite. A lot of people give Focci strange looks, the seating of the train and terminal hardly suit his physique, and there's a general atmosphere that it's a human's world. Other settings throughout the story have attempted to accommodate different species, but Earth seems to have less of that attitude (granted, I suspect sirens don't often come to Earth in the first place, and the tourists focusing on the saur show that Focci isn't particularly thought of as strange). The other side of that cultural divide, created through Focci's thoughts, works just as well. His comments on different cultures, skyscrapers (I really liked the thought of surface-scrapers), architectural styles, and communication/affection are help define where he's come from and what his mindset is. And yeah, pretty entertaining to read, especially because it contributes to his sense of confusion. Nothing like a good old fashioned culture clash.
Everything else is equally (surprise surprise) well-written! I have to admit, I was wondering what the purpose of The Hague was at the start. After all, it's not a city particularly notable for trade, unlike the rapidly growing cities of Nairobi (in Kenya) and Bangaluru (which I had to look up, as I didn't recognize Bangalore by that name). It was only when Focci mentions Ellie's trial taking place there that I remembered that The Hague is home to the international criminal court of none other than the United Nations. So, needless to say, I'm very interested to see what happens if/when the nerds arrive. That is, if that isn't Ellie herself at the train station. I'm hoping so bad she is, because that would make that moment all the sweeter. The mystery person may not be her, but the juxtaposition and contrast of pessimism with the mystery person leads me to think of Ellie. Beyond that, the banter between Tejal and Focci, on top of how readily they help each other out throughout the chapter, is as exceptional and sweet as ever. The Google Translate joke made me crack up; the prospect of more investors, through awesome demonstrations or otherwise, lifted my spirits; and the ending made me extremely eager to see what happens next. I hope all the pain and tiredness of this series of business trips turns out to be worth it for the nerds, because they sure as heck deserve it.
Yeah, all in all, thanks for another amazing chapter - great job!
Points: 24185
Reviews: 299
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