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Young Writers Society



Conics Unfortunately: 30

by Ventomology


From Tertiary Station to Hub Titan, it was a hop, skip, and an eight-day-long jump that zoomed past Pluto and soared over Saturn’s ring system. Focci was on landing duty, as always. Despite writing safety programs to handle Ellipse’s so-called “erratic” flying, he had whacked her out of the driver’s seat the moment Hub Titan came into view.

“It is so odd,” he hummed, ignoring the way Ellipse hovered over his shoulder. “You earthlings colonize moons with atmospheres you cannot breathe in, and then you have to build extra stations for the trans-atmospheric shuttles.”

Ellipse rolled her eyes. “Titan is literally the only moon that needs its own station. Only two other moons even have atmospheres worth mentioning.”

Too proud to accept defeat, Focci curled his tail up and jabbed at Ellipse’s legs.

She ignored him. Instead, as Hub Titan grew larger and larger in the window, she scanned the station for the fly-through customs rings that tore into parts of the structure.

Hub Titan had been built and paid-for by the American government, back when the moon was still a US colony, and aside from the jagged, plastic tubes poking through various parts of the station’s outer edge, it still looked like every other earthling station. It had shiny glass rings on each flat side, and the spoke-like lines painted on each of the three rotating circles inspired a vague sense of nausea in anyone who looked at them.

“Wow,” Focci said. “Three floors. That is fancy.”

“It takes up less space though,” Ellipse said. She pointed at one of the plastic tubes. “You have to go through one of those before dock control will contact us. They are scanning for colonial passports.”

“I see. Do you want to go make sure you put yours in the lead box?” Focci asked, he pressed a few buttons, and the Conics slowed its approach.

“Already taken care of.” Ellipse quirked her lips and reached out to press Mouthbot’s button on the dashboard. “Mouthbot,” she said, “ask Tejal to come to the cockpit.”

Somewhere on the ship’s first floor, Mouthbot requested Tejal’s presence in a stilted imitation of Ellipse’s accented English. The volume adjustment in Focci’s latest update did wonders for Ellipse’s ears, since now she could only hear echoes when Mouthbot spoke in a different room.

“I still do not understand why Mouthbot is starting to sound more and more like me,” Ellipse sang. She spun around to watch the door and crossed her arms. “The original computer voice was fine.”

“It learns through exposure, and I programmed Mouthbot to pay the most attention to when you talk.”

It was fine for the computer to learn languages from Ellipse, but it should have been taking its vocals from native speakers. Unless she was concentrating very hard, she had an accent in every language except Global Gliss.

Ellipse was about to point this out when the curtain over the cockpit door frame slid open and Tejal floated in. He scowled, clearly miffed about being interrupted, though whatever he was doing could not have been that important.

“I was double checking the inventory,” he said, nose wrinkling.

Oh. He was doing something important. But Ellipse’s spiel was important too, so he would just have to deal with it. Shrugging, Ellipse gestured for Tejal to join her at Focci’s side.

“Okay, so we have some things to discuss before landing,” she explained, “which basically all pertain to our links to the US, so listen up.”

“Shoot.” Tejal leaned over Focci’s shoulder to peer at Hub Titan, and his scowl faded.

“My colonial passport is in the lead box already, of course.”

Tejal nodded. “Right. We took care of that as soon as we passed Neptune’s orbit.”

“However, there will be a passport check when we land, which is different from other stations.” Ellipse elbowed Focci and pointed at a garish, orange tube that pierced through the station’s outer floor. “I can present my Independent Titan documents, but we are going to try and pass you off as an unregistered Titan native. There are enough of them still around, after all, and you have the right look.”

When Titan was first established as a colony, it had most heavily attracted people from the tropics, where climbing temperatures and humidity and an increase in storm strength and numbers made many cities dangerous to live in. Ellipse’s family traced back primarily to Southeast Asia, but she knew she had a grandmother from the Caribbean. Since both of Tejal’s biological parents were Indian, he would fit right in.

“Ah, but just as a precaution, you will want to claim a different last name,” Ellipse continued. “There are some Sethis on Titan, but people will already know who they are, and the name is connected with the Pax, so people will ask questions if you tell them your last name is Sethi.”

“I’ll use my mother’s maiden name then.”

“Sounds good.” Ellipse stretched her arms up and tried to loosen up her back muscles. “Oh, and you cannot make any purchases. Not unless you ask me first.”

Tejal did not take that stipulation quite as well. He coughed and gripped Focci’s shoulder too hard, making the siren squawk, and then gestured wildly at himself. “Seriously?” he shouted. “I can’t buy anything? I’ve been waiting for us to come back to our system for weeks!”

“Buy it when we get back to the monitor.”

“No way!” He pulled himself right into Ellipse’s space bubble and pinched the shoulder seam of his shirt. “Look at this! I came onto this ship and suddenly all my clothes were too small, and I only have three pairs of shorts left that still fit around my waist, and-

“That is called a growth spurt, Tejal,” Ellipse deadpanned. She leveled him with a mature, condescending stare, and pursed her lips. “When kids reach a certain age, they-

Tejal slapped his hands over his face and curled into himself. “Oh my god I know what puberty is shut up.”

“Right. Anyways, I would prefer if you did not go shopping here,” Ellipse said. “The Titan vendors are required to have machines that pull extra information from bit cards, and that information includes country of citizenship.”

The explanation seemed to sate Tejal. He peeked out from behind his hands, and his scowl softened. And then he looked at his shirt and frowned again.

Now that he had brought attention to it though, Ellipse noticed that his clothes probably were too small. She was no judge of boys and their physiques, but she had grown up surrounded by fashionable people in fashionable, perfectly-tailored clothing, and she knew what a good, comfortable fit looked like.

“Fine,” she sighed. “We can buy a few things, and I will pay for it, and you can finish up and pay me back when we return to the fold monitor.”

Tejal brightened at that.

“And maybe the Titan fashion scene will add some diversity to your wardrobe too.”

Maybe that comment had been uncalled for. Immediately, Tejal’s face darkened, and he shook a finger at Ellipse. “Hey! At least I don’t go around wearing the same coveralls every day and clomping around in giant boots and-

“It is called industrial fashion you-

Ellipse got smacked by a tail. On instinct, she clutched at the captain’s chair to keep herself from flying away and wound up with Focci’s fist right in her cheek.

“Ow,” she grumbled. She looked through the window and froze. Hub Titan spun just beneath the window, its painted spokes almost lining up, and Ellipse noticed people standing at the glass rings, watching as the Conics passed by.

“Handle the radio, would you?” Focci asked.

Curling her lips back in a glower, she took their radio from Focci’s palm and held it to her ear.

“Calling specifus-make ship one-oh-five-two-seven and Captain Tibot, this is Hub Titan Dock Control. Over.” Whoever was manning the radio had the lowest voice Ellipse had ever heard.

“This is Captain Tibot requesting permission to dock,” she replied. It was so nice to use Global Gliss again. “Over.”

Tejal muttered something about stuck-up polyglots, to which Focci responded by whacking him with his tail, but Ellipse ignored them.

“Our cargo?” she asked. “Oh, yes. We are carrying cooking alcohols from the Gant system. Over.”

“Permission granted,” the radio operator said, after a long pause. “We will have a customs officer ready for you at dock S-twenty-three. Over.”

“Thank you officer. Over.” Ellipse drifted towards the window to search for a dock with S-twenty-three painted on the doors.

“No problem, Captain Tibot. Welcome back to Titan. Over.”

Ellipse clipped the radio back onto the dashboard and pressed her fingertips against the glass. She squinted, trying to read the upside-down numbers on the far side of the station, and then spotted their dock a few spaces over, on the outer ring. As she floated back to Focci’s side, she pointed. “There. S-twenty-three. The one with the green paint.”

“Got it.”

“Tejal,” she said, turning back to the door, “I am going to get the ropes. Head down to the—did you seriously already connect to the station internet?”

He grinned, his tablet lighting up his face from below. “Yep. Hey, did you know Andra is there right now? Apparently there’s a tour on Earth next month.”

“Uh, no?” Ellipse bit her lip and hoped she did not look in any way panicked. “Who cares though? Just get down to the cargo bay before we land.”

Before Tejal could grace her with a sarcastic response, she shoved off the back of the captain’s chair and pushed through the curtain. “Heck,” she hissed once she was out of earshot. Hecking heckity heck.

If Andra caught her, she was going to be in so much trouble.


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Sun Sep 17, 2017 10:57 pm
TheSilverFox wrote a review...



“It is so odd,” he hummed, ignoring the way Ellipse hovered over his shoulder.


*with murder in her eyes. :P

Yay, Chapter 30! Or, in Roman numerals, XXX! But let's change topics for absolutely no particular reason.

Hmm...where to begin? The security measures on board Hub Titan make perfect sense, given that the Titan rebels have proved capable of killing quite a lot of people without remorse (presumably). As such, this feels loosely like American security post 9-11, and perhaps you've created a situation that is perfectly analogous, adding a nice air of concern to the story. Ellipse and Tejal certainly have to lie about their names and come up with an elaborate story to not get asked questions. Considering their true identities (or Tejal's, since Ellipse's is a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a mystery), which are themselves not particularly dangerous (as far as we're aware), that they should have to go to such lengths indicates the strictness of Hub Titan. Fortunately, for now, they should be safe, and all anybody will notice is just the ordinary oddball crew. Who has now become something like a family, thanks to how frequently they're fighting with each other, yet still have the coherency and focus to band together. Ellipse is now the team mom, it seems. :P

Oh boy, Andra's here. That's all the confirmation I need that this mission isn't going to go to plan. My guess is that Tejal's going to try and look for her, forcing Ellipse to try as hard as possible to stay under Andra's radar and keep the two separate (because Tejal, in all his sarcastic glory, will probably mention Ellipse as a hidden fan in the first 10 seconds he talks with Andra). Ooor she ends up trying to buy him some new clothes and runs right into Andra, which might be even more amusing (like if Ellipse tries to go to a store that sells less-expensive clothes at the same time Andra shows up to "mingle with the commoners"). Still, I expect a confrontation, and then Ellipse's lies as to her identity (both as Captain Tibot and as Ellipse) will probably start breaking. Unless you decide to be ambiguous as possible about it, which, given how big of a mystery it is, and thus how key it is to holding the audience's attention, would not surprise me. :P

And everything else is great! I still love the camaraderie between everyone, Mouthbot's imitating Ellipse's voice is hilarious (Ellipse 2.0? :P), and I will admit I liked the puberty joke. I still have to ask if it was intentional that you mentioned every planet from Pluto to Saturn, but ignored Uranus. Nevertheless, this is a great chapter from start to finish; well done!




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Mon Sep 11, 2017 8:06 pm
ExOmelas wrote a review...



Hiya, I'm a wee bit distracted but want to review this before it gets out the Green Room.

Nit-picks and nice moments:

“It learns through exposure, and I programmed Mouthbot to pay the most attention to when you talk.”

Aww, that's nice of Focci, I think?

making the siren squawk

Focci can squawk?

I actually at first thought Tejal was overreacting to not being able to buy anything but that turned into a really funny exchange xD

Ellipse got smacked by a tail. On instinct, she clutched at the captain’s chair to keep herself from flying away and wound up with Focci’s fist right in her cheek.

Wait, did Focci just punch her? That seems rather excessive.

He grinned, his tablet lighting up his face from below. “Yep. Hey, did you know Andra is there right now? Apparently there’s a tour on Earth next month.”

“Uh, no?” Ellipse bit her lip and hoped she did not look in any way panicked. “Who cares though? Just get down to the cargo bay before we land.”

Yaaaaay plot reference. Very good suspense-reminder.

Overall:

Ooooh that was an interesting ending. I was worried I was going to have to say again that this chapter was going places geographically but not really plot-wise. You know, with all the character building and travelling. Just that you'd done a fair few of those in a row. But the ending saved you from that.

I think maybe you should have brought up Andra earlier and had Ellipse try to dodge the topic for the whole chapter. It would a) mean we weren't waiting for the end of the chapter for plot advancement and b) build up the suspense even more as opposed to just a little jump at the end. I also think that you could do some really funny stuff with Ellipse dodging the question and instead telling Tejal all these ground rules.

Speaking of funny, I do want to stress that even when I don't think it's maybe the right moment for light character stuff (eg probably just now) you are consistently very good at doing it. You make me picture things that are funny, and the characters' insults of each other are very believable as chatter between friends.

Sorry if this didn't have the greatest amount of substance in the world; helping people with mental health things intermittently.

Hope it helps anyway,
Biscuits :)




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Mon Sep 11, 2017 12:09 pm
BluesClues wrote a review...



aside from the jagged, plastic tubes poking through various parts of the station’s outer edge, it still looked like every other earthling station.


Also from the American flags I assume are flying everywhere and/or painted on every possible surface, because if there's anything I'm sure of, it's that if the U.S. pays for something, you are going to hecking know.

(I kid. Sort of.)

Also: of COURSE they had no trouble at all and didn't even have to go through this sort of thing (that we're aware of) landing on a moon in a different system, but naturally on a station in Earth's system, a station America built...naturally you get the third degree, have to declare yourself and your cargo, have to have your passports read. Naturally the vendors here, of all places, have card readers that extract extra person information - including place of origin.

Naturally.

(I could laugh at how realistic that is, but mostly I'm a bit bummed out by how realistic that is. Like when we went to Japan and Japanese customs was like, "Oh, this is your first time in Japan? Have a nice trip!" but then we tried to come back to the U.S. and U.S. customs was like, "Why did you leave the country? Why did you go to Japan? Who did you stay with? A friend? Was this friend military personnel?" and I was like, "*cries a little* I swear I was born here, please just let me come home!")

(So realistic.)

Unless she was concentrating very hard, she had an accent in every language except Global Gliss.


Wait, does this mean Global Gliss is her first language? Or is she just particularly accomplished at Global Gliss so that she doesn't have to concentrate to mask an accent?

When Titan was first established as a colony, it had most heavily attracted people from the tropics, where climbing temperatures and humidity and an increase in storm strength and numbers made many cities dangerous to live in. Ellipse’s family traced back primarily to Southeast Asia, but she knew she had a grandmother from the Caribbean. Since both of Tejal’s biological parents were Indian, he would fit right in.


I like this a lot - I like how you draw on some things that are actually happening due to global warming, which is always a nice solid foundation for world-building.

The only thing I'm a little confused by is "Captain Tibot" because, well, it was a specifus captain running the ship until they were arrested, right? And specifus can't talk. So wouldn't they be like, "Wait, why is the captain of this ship talking to us?" since they have the Conics' information? Or is it just that they assume a universal translator is involved?

Image




Ventomology says...


Wow, I was worried that the sudden security thing would throw people off, but this has seriously abated those worries. Also, I think I mentioned it in passing before, but Ellipse is registered as the captain for the time being.

I'm kind of surprised I never discussed her proper pseudonym though. I definitely meant to throw it in somewhere earlier.

Thanks again!



BluesClues says...


It might throw some people off, but as a born American this feels like exactly the sort of thing I'd expect from somewhere built or run by Americans.




'This must be Thursday,' said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer. 'I never could get the hang of Thursdays.'
— Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy