Flying back to the earthling system from Planet Five had taken too long. The Ink was by no means a large ship, but it was heavier cargo than the Conics was built for, and Focci had reprogrammed the piloting assistance to prevent Ellipse from flying as fast as she usually did, which was absolutely unnecessary. And then on top of that, Focci had taken over landing duty. Admittedly, landing with exterior cargo was a little different from the usual, but Ellipse figured she could have handled it.
And then she laid eyes on Earth.
Earth was gorgeous. People who regularly left and returned tended to be of the opinion that Sirena was the prettiest planet from space, but Ellipse found herself drawn to the sparkling nighttime cities, the blooms of different blues in the ocean, and the great swathes of white and brown and green that curled and sprawled over the globe. She floated in the cockpit, just over Focci’s head, one hand stretched out towards the window, with the dim lights of the controls lighting her from below, and was immensely glad that she never had to see this planet from space without knowing she would go planetside.
“You look enthralled,” Tejal commented.
Mouthbot’s translation resulted in an innuendo regarding romantic siren poetry, and Focci looked up to Ellipse for a proper translation, a tinge of green brushing his snout.
“He means I look fascinated,” she sang. “Nothing bad.”
Focci just hummed in response and focused again on landing.
The International Space Station was a mess. It was tube-shaped, with a particularly large interior circle, and old ISS iterations had been welded to the outside with gigantic spray-painted summaries next to each old structure, so that passersby could read through the whole history of earthling space habitation from the comfort of their ships. Giant solar panels stuck out like old Dutch windmill blades, reminiscent of the days before nuclear fusion generators, and all the cement had been painted a solid white, which was by this point grubby from little collisions with debris and ships.
The Conics dived for the interior of the tube, and Earth’s gentle curve disappeared from view.
“Tejal, I put my Titan passport in the lead safe, right?”
“You’ve asked me this like five times,” Tejal replied from the back of the cockpit. “Yes. You did it before the last time you went to sleep.”
Ellipse pulled her mouth into a straight line and thought, watching the entrance to the ISS draw closer. Yes, Tejal was right. She had definitely put away her Titan papers.
They flew through the opening, and Ellipse floated closer to the window, searching the walls for a door with S-342 spray painted on. She spotted it a few hundred meters away, on the top side of the station. “Right up there,” she told Focci, pointing it out.
The ship slowed, and Ellipse pressed the dashboard button for the landing control radio. “This is Captain Tibot from the Conics,” she said, trying to lengthen her vowels to sound like Tejal’s American drawl, “requesting that the doors to dock S-342 be opened. Over.”
“We still need a moment for the security scans to come in,” landing control said. The officer in contact sounded about twelve, for some reason. “And… you’re clear. We’ll open the door in a moment.”
Focci slowed the ship to a stop and put on a bit of spin, rotating so that the Conic’s hull faced the door, and a moment later, the great metal dock doors split down the middle and slid open. He unbuckled the seatbelt over his chest and floated out of the pilot’s chair.
“Your turn,” Focci told Ellipse, with a quick pat on her shoulder. “Tejal and I will move into the cargo hold for landing.”
Taking hold of the joystick, Ellipse drifted into the pilot’s chair and listened as the boys threw aside the curtain. A few long moments later, Focci sang out an ‘all clear,’ and Ellipse angled the engines up. The Conics and its exterior cargo dropped through the extra-wide opening to the dock, and then clamped onto the floor of the dock in a disorienting clunk.
“Ah, right,” Ellipse muttered, rubbing her tailbone. “That way is down now.” She stood and leaned foward to peer out the window, watching as the dock doors slid shut, and keeping her ears peeled for the distinct hiss of the airlock closing.
Then her watch buzzed, jolting her and lighting up with a message from someone she had never heard of. Ellipse brought up her wrist and squinted. “Mi Na Park? Who the heck is that?” She bit her lip and tapped the message, ignoring the airlock’s loud hiss.
Then her watch buzzed again, with another message from this Mi Na Park, and then came another and another. Suddenly she had twenty messages from her, all with the same subject line as the recent messages Ellipse had exchanged with Randi.
She almost grinned. Maybe Mi Na Park had money for the boys’ project. But then she read over the first few lines, all typed out in careful, professional serifs, and grimaced. This was just legalese, most of which flew over Ellipse’s head. She knew laws by their intent, not by their wording.
“Ellipse!” Tejal shouted. “Get down here! We’re lowering the ramp, and you need to get into the Ink and get my backup wheelchair out.”
Ellipse switched her watch screen off and crossed out of the cockpit. Her legs felt heavy suddenly. She had known nothing about this other person in contact with Randi, not until she arrived on Earth, where the messages must have originated. And if Ellipse was being completely honest with herself, she knew very little about what Randi had planned. She knew a bit, shared their vague hatred of Andra-Media, but had no idea what was going down.
Slowly, Ellipse climbed down the central ladder, taking in the little vertical garden that splashed the acrylic walls with with green and red and yellow. Then she stopped three rungs from the floor and brought up her watch again. She needed to read these messages before she landed on Earth, especially if the sender was there.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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I'm baaaaack!!
Nit-picks and nice moments:
I didn't realise how much I'd missed these guys. Seriously, this is one of the only novels on the site that I know for certain I would read even without the points and review count incentive. Maybe it's just because you've managed to sustain it for so long, but these are definitely the characters I know best on all of yws.
Bad translation humour is best humour <3
I also forgot how good you were at spreading specifics around.
Finally found an actual nit-pick. It's unclear here whether she's looking at the message or trying and failing to get rid of it.
Overall:
Gahhhhhhh I've missed this story. The pacing is perfect, the characters are varied and believable. Admittedly I'm not quite as invested in the plot in this specific moment as I could be but I think that's because of the unconventional way I read it. Imagine reading a 200-and-something page book in very short intervals over the period of a year and a bit. It's just harder to get invested than you'd like. That being said, I am sure I will be right back in it once I've read a few more chapters.
I don't think I have any criticisms of this specific chapter, so the only thing I'm really able to mention is that the plot maybe has lacked drive sometimes, in a way that isn't just my haphazard reading? There have been quite a few tangents which, yes, have all been related to the main plot, and have all been highly enjoyable, but the plot thread of how the fold generator is connected to the specifus they're tracking, and how that's connected to Andra Media, has not always been the strongest.
Still, I am very excited to keep reading ^.^
Hope this helps,
Biscuits
TWIST - they're actually twelve.
K, so this chapter had zero grammar or spelling problems right until the end, as shown here:
That's one too many 'with's.
But yeah, everything else here is fantastic. Nicely done! It may be a short chapter, but you do an exceptional job of covering Earth, the New ISS, and Mi Na Park. In particular, I love the way that Ellipse describes Earth. To the average reader, Earth is an average planet, and the more fantastical worlds (like Sirena) likely garner more interest in their minds. Ellipse is in the opposite situation - Earth isn't like many/any of the planets she's seen before, so it comes across as enormously distinctive, especially thanks to its varied color scheme and lights. In other words, the reader's perspective is the opposite of Ellipse's, and expressing that difference helps the reader to better under Ellipse's background and mindset, thus contributing to her character development. Besides, Earth can be an exceptionally beautiful place, so long as one doesn't look too closely.
And yeah, there's something so typical and funny about the Earth's station. Sticking all the ISS iterations onto it seems like a classic move - we love our history, after all (at least, the good parts of it). Also, given the amount of debris hovering around Earth at any given time, the color of the cement makes perfect sense. I wonder if they had to account for the trajectories and impacts of debris when they built pods to take people to and from the planet? Maybe there was some kind of a clean-up project beforehand? On that note, the history you delve into is wonderful. By talking about solar panels vs. nuclear fusion, as well as the existence of multiple ISS, you reveal some of the Earthling history in this story while cleverly weaving it into the story. The history lesson isn't unwieldy, and it fits in capturing audience interest. As does, of course, the main plot. I don't much trust Mi Na Park, honestly - someone who knows about Ellipse's email (and thus her identity) makes me suspicious, regardless of how Park got that information in the first place. I mean, she seems to have ties to Andra, but Andra's got some extremely vague plans and is sort-of subtly fighting her own company, so that's not too great? Yeah, I'm curious to know more about what Ellipse's role is in all of this ("Randi's" plans, that is). What is she supposed to be doing? To what exact end? I suppose I'll find out soon enough, given Ellipse's urgency.
This might be a short review, but I didn't have too much to say. This chapter incorporates some distinctive settings, exceptional character development, and a nice bit of foreshadowing for revealing some more Ellipse's convoluted backstory. I did it find weird that Focci would take over landing duty, except he lets Ellipse land the Ink in the space station (though he does most of the work). Nevertheless, I'm happy with this chapter - well done!
These are the details I read for omg.
I really like the fact that Ellipse sees Earth for the first time and thinks it's beautiful. From down here we sometimes don't have much appreciation for our planet - either we think it sucks because of all the bad stuff going on all the time or we don't care enough about the environment and taking care of it, and I just think people forget how beautiful Earth is. So it was a nice detail to include in this chapter.
One spot of confusion.
Isn't Randi actually Andra? Or did I come to that conclusion but it's wrong? Or is "Andra-Media" in this sense the company/brand vs. the actual person, and Ellipse and Andra both kind of hate it?
I'm hoping we see this person who communicated with them and sounded about twelve, just because that detail stood out to me. Guess I'll have to read on and find out!