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Young Writers Society



Conics Unfortunately: 57

by Ventomology


So the Randi thing fell flat. Ellipse knew it would from the moment she and the boys got back to the Conics, joyously weary from their two-day romp on Sirena, when she turned the wireless back on in her watch and found no response from her contact back in the earthling system. But she held out hope during the flight to Planet Five.

Now, face lit by her watch and the dim cockpit display, she wished she had not hoped. Randi’s reply was incredulous, completely dismissive of her request, and questioned her commitment to seeing their plan through. Ellipse would argue that she was allowed to have second thoughts. She had not even helped make the plan, just agreed to it without knowing the logistics.

The ship’s speakers clicked on, and Mouthbot’s copy of Ellipse’s accented English rang into the cockpit. “The Ink is attached to the tug mechanism,” Mouthbot announced. “I repeat, the Ink is attached to the tug mechanism.” Then the computer sang the same message in Trade Siren, and continued on again in English. “Final check of magnetics will proceed.”

Ellipse let herself float up from the pilot’s chair and turned her watch screen off. Whatever. Having a single investor was never a good idea anyways. She shoved off the back of the chair and drifted down the hall of the second floor, fingers lightly brushing over the acrylic walls. Chances were, once she got off the Conics, she would never get back on again. Earth would make a good hiding place; there were plenty of other earthlings to blend in with. Besides, with Wrecktrix on board, Captain Maj and the other actual members of the crew would not need her anymore.

She reached the ladder and propelled herself down to the first floor, into the computer room, where Tejal floated by an open panel of hardware, fiddling with his current fold generator iteration. Focci would come back up shortly, once he finished checking the tug mechanism.

“Hey,” Ellipse said.

Tejal grunted. He furrowed his brow, looking pained, and pulled his tiny dentist pick from the inside of the generator.

“How are things going?” Ellipse tried.

“Fine,” he said, the answer clipped. “I took care of the data packages and shuttle tickets while you did the atmosphere check earlier. We’ll be staying in New York City. Apparently my parents and your crew already made hotel reservations for us.”

New York was good. There had to be investors there. Ellipse peered at the open section of hardware and smiled when she saw the first iteration of fold generator plugged into the ship’s mainframe. It was tiny and cube-shaped and probably not as nice as whatever Tejal had in his hands, but it was handy.

“Thanks for taking care of that,” Ellipse said. She scratched her neck. “But like, are you and Focci doing okay? I know you two are stressing about being able to finish working on it together.”

“We’re good.” Tejal looked up, finally, and glanced at the exposed computer panel. “We talked a little about money. Ellipse, did you know it could take millions of US dollars to even think about testing the fold generator properly?”

That was a given. “I thought you were well-read on sciencey things. Pharmaceuticals cost massive amounts to test.”

“That’s testing on people! With chemicals! All Focci and I have to do is go out in deep space and run fold generators through each other to proove it’s safe.” Tejal plucked a flashlight from the halo of tools around his head. Ellipse noticed that his hair was getting long enough for the ends to really float away from his scalp.

“Well,” Ellipse started, holding up a hand and counting off the fingers. “Each prototype costs a certain amount to build. You will need a ship, supplies, and fuel, possibly a crew. Then there is the cost of testing and measurement instruments, and then collateral for investors in case you fail. You want to change the world? You need a big investment.”

Tejal squeezed the new prototype, almost like he might crush it in his hand. “I just wish that investment didn’t have to be money. I mean, Focci and I can work separately for a while. We have the tools to do it.”

“But nothing beats working face-to-face,” Ellipse finished. She crossed her arms and sighed, looking around the computer room, where the trio had first bonded over Mouthbot. So much of the Conics was the same as when Ellipse had first walked into its hull, but everything felt different now. The acrylic wall panels were so homey that they faded into the background, and the odd collection of earthling appliances were just there, not oddly familiar aspects of an alien ship.

Technically, Captain Maj and their crew still owned this ship, and had lived on it far longer than Ellipse’s, but the Conics was home to her and Tejal and Focci now.

She heard Focci sing that everything was in order, and she made a decision.

“Mouthbot,” she said, “start us towards the Triune fold monitor.” She looked at Tejal and quirked her lips to the side. “I want to know about your project before we all split up. Perhaps if you need user data or something, I can help.”

“You’re not staying on the Conics with Focci?” Tejal’s eyebrows rose, and he paused in his fiddling.

“We shall see,” Ellipse told him.

Soon enough, Focci drifted in, gills fluttering in surprise when he found the earthlings in the computer room instead of the cockpit. He twitched his nose and turned a tidy somersault, and then pulled himself to a stop over Tejal’s head. “What is up? This is not our usual meeting place.”

Mouthbot gave the ‘what is up’ an odd, joking tone, and Tejal shrugged.

“Ellipse wants to hear about the fold generator.”

Immediately, Focci brightened. A slight green blush rose to his cheeks, and he dove to wrap Ellipse in a hug. “Oh! I was waiting for you to ask! Where should we start?”

Fruitlessly, Ellipse picked at the seal-smooth skin squeezing her torso. “Uh… tell me how it works, I guess?”

So the boys told her. Tejal explained in a flurry of arm movements and waving tools that the fold was essential a place where two bits of space-time that normally did not meet were forced together. There was some theory of relativity that flew over Ellipse’s head, something about all of time and space existing at once, but Tejal pinched together two bits of his jacket, causing a fold in the fabric, and Ellipse figured that was all she needed to know about that.

Focci handed her the current prototype and a flashlight and told her to peer inside, and so she did. At the back of the tiny tube was a ring, and at the front was a little metal box that apparently sent and recieved electromagnetic signals.

“Basically,” Tejal said, “this is a very small-scale version of how every time the big folds open, the station will send data packages through to the other side.”

Ellipse looked up from the little tube and frowned. “But was there not some issue with making a tiny generator? It takes more energy to keep the fold open?”

“That is where it gets interesting,” Focci said, grinning. He took back the prototype and looked it over, snout wrinkling in fondness.

Tejal held up one hand and made a circle, and then snatched a toothpick from the air. “Imagine this is a fold,” he said, gesturing at the circle, “one of the big ones that ships go through. It has to stay open continuously over the time that ships are passing through.” He poked the toothpick through the circle, and then broke it in half. “If the fold isn’t open continuously, the ships would be cut open by the fabric of the universe snapping back into place.”

“Okay,” Ellipse said. She did not quite see where this was going. “But how would a fold even exist if it was not open continuously?”

“They flicker naturally,” Focci explained. “Opening the fold is not where the energy goes. Most of the energy use is for keeping the fold open. But you can open one, let it close, and then open another one, and do that very quickly, so you have a fold that flickers, and the circuit does not have to turn on and off to work.”

Squinting, Ellipse glanced between the boys and shook her head slowly. “But then how do you send anything through it?”

“You can get a bit of light through each moment that the fold is open,” Tejal answered. He held up the circle hand again and made a blinking motion with his other hand. “And thus, you can send a signal.”

“I feel like the data in the signal would get cut up by the flicker though?”

Mouthbot translated, and Focci jumped in with a great swing of his tail. “Oh! But you can program the computer or phone or whatever to package the signal and send it only when the fold is open, and then the recieving end can patch the signal back up. After all, the rate of flickering is constant, as long as the voltage and the size of the fold are the same.”

Oh. Ellipse blinked, surprised that the boys could actually explain their machine well enough for her to get it. And then she tilted her head. “How big exactly are the folds you generate in these little machines?”

Focci looked to Tejal, because the earthling took care of hardware questions, and Tejal had to think for a moment. He drifted up slightly, chin cupped in one hand, and Ellipse wondered for a moment if his hair was long enough to be braided.

“It’s about a millimeter in diameter. Just big enough for small radio waves to squeeze through.”

“You know, since everyone is going to associate the miniature fold generator with the Impending failure,” Ellipse mused, “maybe you should come up with a different name before you go to investors.”

“Like what?” Tejal asked, face scrunching. He looked somewhat offended by the suggestion.

Shrugging, Focci tapped Ellipse’s leg with his tail. “I would not know about investors.”

They needed something catchy that still sounded intelligent. A millimeter was not really that small, though compared to the kilometer-wide folds that ships travelled through, a millimeter was pretty tiny.

Well, go miniscule or go home, Ellipse figured. She held a finger up in the one-hundred-percent-ultra-cliched eureka pose and beamed. “Call it the pinpoint fold generator.”


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Sun Apr 08, 2018 8:04 pm
TheSilverFox wrote a review...



“You know, since everyone is going to associate the miniature fold generator with the Impending failure,” Ellipse mused, “maybe you should come up with a different name before you go to investors.”


The words "impending failure" make me laugh more than I should (also Impending should be in italics). >.>

Alright, so grammar and spelling stuff first:

“Fine,” he said, the answer clipped.


I'm not fully sure what this means? I could be missing something, but it might be better to use a more familiar word like "terse."

Technically, Captain Maj and their crew still owned this ship, and had lived on it far longer than Ellipse’s, but the Conics was home to her and Tejal and Focci now.


*Ellipse

And now, for the plot and character stuff:

I love the science going on here! I can liken the flickering of a fold to the behavior of alternating current, since they both feature the rapid adjustment between two states - on and off - to produce a relatively consistent result. Therefore, my physics brain keeps trying to define the miniature fold generator's rate of flickering and energy consumption. The former clearly depends on voltage (delta V) and the size of the fold (A, or the cross-sectional area of the fold on its plane), and the latter just relies on the size of the fold. If it takes more energy to maintain a smaller fold, energy consumption could be inversely proportional to the fold's size, so that P (power can be understood to be the transfer of energy from electrical to non-electrical forms in electrical circuits, which is why I'm using it in place of energy consumption here) = 1/A. I imagine voltage is directly proportional to the rate of the fold's flickering; if a smaller fold requires more energy to maintain itself, flickering or otherwise, the size of the fold must be inversely proportional to the rate of the fold's flickering. Hence, if the rate of flickering is considered in terms of frequency, or f, then f = delta V/A. Combined with the other equation (P = 1/A), the result is f = delta V * P. These are likely incorrect calculations, since they make a lot of assumptions about the relationships between variables (and I know you went into greater detail in a previous chapter about energy in miniature fold generators). I just thought I'd talk about it, because why not? :P

To deal with more important things, I enjoy the atmosphere in the chapter. Ellipse sympathizes enough with the nerds that she's willing to put her mission/plan, whatever it might be, in danger; that's a nice amount of character development on her part. It's not like they have much time left - they're heading to Earth, reuniting with the rest of the Conics crew and Tejal's parents, and then going their separate ways ( ;-; ). So yeah, with the prospect of the nerds separating and having a harder time finishing their project, there's a sense of urgency hovering around everyone, and Ellipse's response to it is wonderful. The air of finality you create in having Ellipse think about her familiar with the Conics is an exceptional touch, as is her increased involvement in the nerd's projects. The Randi plan fell through, but at least she has other investors and ideas in mind. Her name choice also captures the spirit of the miniature fold generator without the unfortunate implications, so that'll come in handy regarding future investors. I still think she has a fox and the grapes mindset regarding Randi's lack of support, because she says a single investor is pointless anyways. That's a tad annoying, since, while true, she should've at least factored in having multiple investors. Every dollar counts, after all. I can chalk that up to her frustration and Randi's wealth, though.

Yeah, all in all, this is a splendid, physics-heavy chapter. You explain everything clearly, lay out future plans, and set the stage for the story's climax and resolution. Well done!




Ventomology says...


God I love it when I do pseudo-science well. Idk if I'll actually publish this week's (and last week's) chapters today? I'm trying to rack up some more points, and things in last week's work are bothering me.

Thanks as always!



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Mon Mar 26, 2018 12:34 pm
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ExOmelas wrote a review...



I managed to convince the other green room knights to let me get this one while it's in the green room since I so rarely get to do that for your story ^.^

Nit-picks and nice moments:

“You’re not staying on the Conics with Focci?” Tejal’s eyebrows rose, and he paused in his fiddling.

Wait, I thought Tejal was being kind of grumpy before, and I assumed this was because he knew Ellipse would be leaving.

Immediately, Focci brightened. A slight green blush rose to his cheeks, and he dove to wrap Ellipse in a hug. “Oh! I was waiting for you to ask! Where should we start?”

Ahhhhhh that was so cute!!

He drifted up slightly, chin cupped in one hand, and Ellipse wondered for a moment if his hair was long enough to be braided.

This seems random but a fun thought. Although actually given the answer he gave I'm surprised that took him so long to think of. I'd have thought that a) he would know how big his own fold was and b) would be able to remember a figure as simple.

Overall:

Ahhhhh, I see! Mayhaps are we beginning to catch up with the Focci ballad? I actually think it might have been more useful to have that chapter nearer this one, it would have seen more relevant. Unless you're planning a different flashforward chapter after this one, of course.

I'm a little confused by the whole Ellipse leaving thing. Like, it seemed at first like it had been decided, then Tejal clearly didn't know and they're trying to hide it from Focci. It's pretty nice that way, and means I'm anticipating some interesting scenes, but it was just a bit confusing at first.

I wish we'd got to see the goodbye with Focci's parents. That was just a little abrupt. Also, are they just leaving Ami there?

I really enjoyed your explanation of how the generator worked. It's just enough jargon and just enough straight-forward. I felt I probably followed it as much as Ellipse which was really, really useful.

The Randi stuff feels like it's building towards something, which is also very interesting.

Hope this helps,
Biscuits :)




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Mon Mar 26, 2018 12:03 pm
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BluesClues wrote a review...



A++ for the biology talk about haploid and diploid cells in the last chapter. 10/10 would recommend.

The time jump at the start of this chapter threw me off a bit, I guess because we skipped from dinner immediately after they go to Sirena - and a sudden, unexpected attack of meeting with Ami - to "now it's two days later and they're leaving and Ellipse is disappointed by a message from Randi." Like time skips can certainly work, but, I don't know, this one just kind of didn't do it for me.

Maybe I was just looking forward to more of Focci's family.

I like that you manage to explain the fold generator's workings, issues, and potential solutions in this chapter without it all getting too technical and boring. I think it's partly because Ellipse is largely our viewpoint character, and she's more biology-inclined than engineering/physics, so she's likely to inject humor into an overly-technical explanation of things as she interrupts because she doesn't understand. So instead of having everything explained to us in painstaking detail that drags on and gets boring and is incomprehensible to the average joe anyway, we get shorter bursts of explanation that are easier to understand and generally more interesting.

All that said, I feel like in future drafts this chapter could maybe be cut down somewhat to an even shorter explanation. But I'm not sure about that. I think I'd have to see the shorter explanation first. This is a nice place to start, as you skim over all the super-technical stuff.

Tejal explained in a flurry of arm movements and waving tools that the fold was essential a place where two bits of space-time that normally did not meet were forced together. There was some theory of relativity that flew over Ellipse’s head, something about all of time and space existing at once, but Tejal pinched together two bits of his jacket, causing a fold in the fabric, and Ellipse figured that was all she needed to know about that.


me, explaining the fold generator to Ellipse: Have you ever read A Wrinkle in Time? It's like a tesseract.
Ellipse: What's A Wrinkle in Time?

Ellipse, did you know it could take millions of US dollars to even think about testing the fold generator properly?


I mean, Tejal. Why did you think you needed investors in the first place, dude?




Ventomology says...


Sometimes, I am so impressed by what I remember from 10th grade biology class.

Yeah, honestly, I think if I had more time with this piece I'd get the transitions and time-skips more smooth first. But I really want to finish the novel before I get dumped on an island for the summer, so things may get a bit rushed towards the end. Sorry!




Look, a good poem is a poem that exists. Any poem you write is better than the poem you don't.
— WeepingWisteria