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Young Writers Society



Conics Unfortunately: 33

by Ventomology


Ellipse wanted to stay near the back of the crowd, of course. She stood just a tad shorter than average for Titan girls, so she would blend in as long as she did not wind up right against the crowd control tape, but it was still safer for her to stay toward the back.

But Tejal wanted to be at the front, for obvious reasons, and with him around, it was almost too easy to push through the crowd. People shuffled out of the way for him, either because they did not want their toes run over, or because they were decent folks, and before Ellipse knew it, she was closed in on all sides. Tejal and Focci sat in front of her, and too-warm bodies pressed in on her from everywhere else, and still worse, her face was in the open.

She wanted to crouch and hide behind Tejal’s chair, but then people might give her weird looks and she would draw even more attention. Maybe she could get away with just not looking at Andra head-on.

Trying to look natural, she bent over so that her head was level with Tejal’s, and rested lightly on the back of his wheelchair. She glanced down the makeshift aisle where Andra would walk, noticed a wide, opaque glass door set into the far wall, and turned to face the other way. But then her nose brushed against Tejal’s icky, somewhat greasy hair, which was super gross, so she had to lean away from him.

“Why are you standing like that?” Tejal asked. A moment later, Mouthbot translated into Trade Siren for Focci.

“Why are you standing like that?” Focci repeated.

Ellipse sniffed. “So the people behind me can see. I am being considerate.”

“For once,” Tejal muttered.

Gills quivering, Focci tilted his head and wrinkled his snout. “Why do you not…” He made a scrunching motion with his tail, as if trying to act out the word. “Why not half-sit?”

“Squat?” Ellipse sang. The word floated off her tongue almost too easily. It came from an earthling song, probably, since sirens and their fellow Triune system species could not squat.

“That, yes,” Focci said, twisting his face in distaste. “Your earthling rhythms are stupid.”

Shrugging, Ellipse patted one of her thighs. “It would make my legs sore, and I cannot see over the top of Tejal’s head if I kneel.”

A few seconds later, Ellipse heard the robotic imitation of her voice stumble in translation. “I cannot see over. Tejal’s. Head if I. Famous primary melody from the. Wedding March. In Wagner’s opera.  Lohengrin.”

“What the heck?” Tejal mumbled.

As Ellipse debated over whether or not to explain Mouthbot’s mistranslation, the crowd eased into quiet. The press of bodies from behind grew stronger, and when Ellipse looked around to see why, she noticed teenagers and children and adults all stretching towards those opaque glass doors. Whispers popped up every so often, carrying questions about what Andra would wear, or which bodyguard would be in the entourage today.

Then, just as Ellipse let her gaze slide over the doors, they burst open. Whatever plans she originally had, to turn away or to hide behind Tejal or to slip to the back of the crowd, flew into the void of space. Her jaw clenched, and her breath stopped in her throat, and the first of Andra’s guards, in their pitch-black suits, strolled onto the red carpet.

She stared at them, knowing her eyes were too wide and wishing she could act the part of the fangirl, like everyone else lined up against the tape. Heck, if one of the guards recognized her, she would be absolutely dead. She would be more dead than if Andra recognized her.

“Ellipse,” Tejal said, just as a series of screams washed across the crowd.

She jerked her head to him and remembered, finally, to relax her eyelids. “Yeah?” she shouted.

“Can you see Andra’s earrings?”

There was a widespread theory that the type of earrings Andra wore could clue observers into what gender Andra was leaning towards that day. Usually the theory was right, but sometimes the publicity and wardrobe people overrode an earring choice.

“No,” Ellipse replied.

Frowning, Tejal craned his neck and pushed up in his chair. “You could probably see if you stood up, you know.”

“I do not want to obstruct anyone else’s view.”

Piquing an eyebrow, Tejal settled back down. As the procession continued, and Ellipse kept her head turned down towards Focci, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck raise up. Tejal was probably sending her suspicious sidelong glances, trying to piece together the inconsistencies in her behavior. The crowd pressed in closer, and the cheers grew louder, and Ellipse curled her shoulders in, making herself as small as possible. She was definitely acting weird now, but it did not matter. She needed to stay hidden, and everyone else was too busy with Andra to notice her.

“You look sick,” Focci sang, pitch so low that his voice cut under the surrounding screams.

“I am bad with-

Someone tapped Ellipse’s shoulder. In a less stressful situation, maybe she would have ignored it or slipped into some kind of act, but now she froze. Her breath hitched, and her eyes squeezed shut, and she hoped to the ends of the universe that whoever had tapped her was not from Andra’s guard.

“Ellipse?” Oh, thank the universe it was just Tejal. “Are you okay?”

With a gulp and a shaky smile, she started turning back to him. She forced her eyes open, and the moment she did, she regretted it.

Andra stood in the middle of the red carpet, waving at the fans squashed together behind Ellipse. Tiny LED studs—today was a boy day—blinked from his earlobes, and his black leather jacket glittered with even more LEDs, all sewn in the shapes of constellations. He beamed, and then someone in the guard bent over to whisper in his ear, and he brightened even more, like a kid entering an amusement park for the first time.

He swung his head to look Ellipse’s way, and for a brief moment, panic flickered across his face. His perfect, thin eyebrows twisted, and his jaw tightened, and then he settled back into his public face and strode towards her.

Hecking heckity heck.

In a last-ditch effort to throw off the guards at least, Ellipse pulled her bangs low, so that they almost covered her eyes, and crouched lower.

Hallo, hallo!” Andra stuck his hand over the tape for Tejal to shake. “Ni er?”

Ellipse grit her teeth. She had not anticipated anyone talking directly to Tejal during this stop, and with Andra and the guards right there, she could not jump in and explain the English that was bound to drop from Tejal’s mouth. This excursion had been such an awful idea.

“Sorry,” Tejal said back, “but my universal translator only does English for earthlings, and I’d like to include my siren friend.”

Ellipse almost fell over from relief. Staying down, she reached over and tapped four fingers against Tejal’s arm.

“Oh, and my name is Tejal,” he said. “That’s Focci, and that’s-

Before he could blow her cover, Ellipse pinched him. In the corner of her vision, she noticed Focci squint at her.

“That’s our captain,” Tejal finished, voice tight. “She didn’t have time to put makeup on before coming and so she’s kind of embarrassed.”

Ellipse resented that, but at least Tejal had saved her from having to come up with a story.

“Ah, well, I’m sure she’s very pretty regardless,” Andra said, still smiling. “Tejal, right? It’s wonderful to meet you and your friends. Do you want a picture?”

Tejal leaned forward so quickly that the chair moved with him. “Can we take it on my tablet?”

“Of course!” Andra lifted up the tape a bit and elbowed the guard on his left. “And why don’t you and your friends come through so we don’t have this awkward tape in the middle?”

Focci scooted under the tape, and the guards crawled under to block the rest of the crowd, and somewhere in the mess of bodies moving across the tape, Ellipse found herself shoved against Andra’s side. Focci had nudged his way under her arm, and Tejal sat on Andra’s other side, and Andra was holding the tablet up in front of them.

“On three,” Andra said. He grinned for the camera, and Tejal smiled, and Focci splayed his gills and curled his lips back just enough to show a few teeth. Ellipse quirked her lips to one side and looked up to make sure her bangs covered enough of her face.

“One, two, three!” The tablet screen blinked a few times, and then Andra stood and tapped it, keeping the tablet close to his chest where Ellipse could not see. A broad man from the back guard began to spin Tejal’s chair around, and a woman with hair dyed a multitude of purples ushered Ellipse back under the tape.

Another chorus of shouts blasted her ears as she stood, and once the flurry of guard activity died down, Ellipse caught a glimpse of Andra waving again. He passed the tablet to the broad-shouldered guard and shot Ellipse a smile softer and more subtle than his usual public grin, before pivoting on his heels and continuing down the carpet.

Broad-shouldered guard lumbered to Tejal and slipped the tablet into his lap. “Andra wanted to pass along another message to your whole crew,” he said, with a thick Titan accent.

Tejal nodded, eyes wide in pleasant surprise.

“Safe travels,” the guard recited. “Do not get into any trouble. I am not sure why he thinks you would get into trouble, but that is that.”

“Because we’re all pretty young?” Tejal guessed.

The man shrugged. “Perhaps.” Then, with a nod of his head, he left to rejoin the entourage.

As soon as his back was turned, Tejal whipped around to face Ellipse and pinned her with a suspicious stare. “You’re what’s keeping me fed right now, so I’m not going to ask,” he said, “but I know something’s up with you.”

Ellipse bit her lip, trying to come up with a response. She had definitely acted weird today.

“Tejal,” Focci sang, “do not read too much into it. Ellipse will tell us eventually.”

No, she would not. Tejal and Focci would figure it all out at the same time as the rest of the universe: after Andra-Media was destroyed.


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Thu Oct 05, 2017 6:08 pm
BluesClues wrote a review...



Alas, I reviewed too late. Oh, well.

(I did read it several days ago, I just...was not feeling the reviews that day, you know?)

TOTALLY AWESOME that Andra is nonbinary, and the way you bring it up in this chapter. In my cisfemale head "Andra" was a girl name (which is extra dumb because this is space so like???what even rules are there???), oops, but then it still made sense to me when it came up because, well, this is the first moment we're ever seeing Andra, and they've always kind of been mentioned in passing in Ellipse's thoughts. I like the detail with the earrings, which was not only a way for us to find out that Andra is nonbinary and what gender they're leaning toward today, but it also just seemed to fit their fame (especially the part where even though people think they can count on the earrings, sometimes makeup and wardrobe overrides the earrings).

I'm so curious to see more of Andra, because it seems like they recognized Ellipse? Like their face kind of tightened, and they gave everyone that cryptic warning via security guard afterward. I'm 100% sure Andra recognized Ellipse (come on, Ellipse, hiding behind your bangs? really?) but I can't be sure whether they're concerned for Ellipse and the warning was against other people, or if they're concerned about Ellipse, say, destroying Andra-Media and the warning was more of a "don't do whatever you're thinking about OR ELSE."




Ventomology says...


I feel you on not reviewing. Sometimes I read Fox's work and then don't touch it for several days.

I can't say much in response because spoilers, but thanks so much for telling me what you think is going on! It's good to know if I'm getting across the right ideas.

Thanks again!



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Thu Oct 05, 2017 1:08 am
TheSilverFox wrote a review...



Tejal and Focci would figure it all out at the same time as the rest of the universe: after Andra-Media was destroyed.


Ellipse, you better have a lot of cards in your hand that I don't know about, because I can see some slight problems with your plan. Number one being that Andra knows who you are, and he is (apparently) letting you go for some reason I cannot fathom, but cannot trust.

...FFFF, this is a delightfully infuriating chapter. Up until around the end, it proved happy, a little amusing, and just a fraction of a fraction of a fraction suspicious. I mean, Andra has a weird expression upon glancing on Ellipse, but I thought that perhaps he's just looking at Tejal, or maybe Ellipses' shyness, or perhaps Focci, or something else going on in the massing throngs. He sure doesn't mind coming up to the group, easily slip into English, and take what must be one heck of a photo for fanboy Tejal. And then he has to ruin it with that little eerie smile and a letter that I can just as easily think of as a threat/warning message ("Make sure you don't get in my way" is what I think of it). I mean, at the same time, I should have seen this coming (and I already was, I just had this faint sense of hope combined with Andra's general unresponsiveness towards Ellipse until the end) - Andra and Ellipse have clearly known each other for a long enough time, especially because Ellipse is concerned that even the guards would recognize her. Seriously, under those circumstances, why in the world would she think hiding behind her bangs would help her? Even in the lights and the noise and the chaos, it's still possible to recognize a familiar face. Unfortunately, she placed too much confidence in whatever length of time has seen them separated, and now she's all the worse for it, especially as her friends are increasingly suspicious of her. *sighs* Wonderfully infuriating, and a brilliant example of your ability to manipulate your audience, throw in some effective plot twists, and write some exceptional characters.

Everything is in tip-top shape, though. Tejal's stealth insults make me crack up (as does the irony that Ellipse is not necessarily being considerate, since she's short enough that even standing up wouldn't stop most people behind her from looking at Andra). I didn't know that Andra was nonbinary, and the part with the earrings is pretty interesting. I'll refer to him/her/them by whatever identity he should have in a chapter/scene, if that's alright. Anyways, I like Tejal's ability to lie, though I'm more fascinated with the continued existence of that rift between him and Ellipse. Ultimately, he is still suspicious of her (and she does do a poor job of hiding her behavior), and it's clear that, as much as she's helped him, some part of him still thinks of the bounty. They're definitely generally friendly around each other, but the underlying tension still exists, and I'm extremely curious to see if Tejal will act upon it at any time in the future (or, for Ellipse's sake, it be broken). In conclusion, this is a remarkable chapter, and I enjoyed reading it from start to finish. Andra has my full attention (as the intent is, I'm guessing, since you appear to be setting him up to be a major antagonist, as he has the most to lose from Ellipse's plans), and I want to know what he's planning on next, and how Ellipse is going to work towards the full bombshell you've revealed. Well done!




Ventomology says...


Wow I feel like I've done a good job this is exciting. At the same time, I don't feel like I can respond to anything you said (except to say thank you because I'm super flattered right now) without giving spoilers.

Anyways. Thanks so much! I'm getting to 4.4 like at this second, so hold tight.



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Mon Oct 02, 2017 7:25 pm
ExOmelas wrote a review...



Omg I thought you weren't going to make it! Hope you're having fun at uni ^.^

Nit-picks and nice moments:

But then her nose brushed against Tejal’s icky, somewhat greasy hair, which was super gross, so she had to lean away from him.

Wait how tall is Ellipse that she's level with his hair? I thought she'd have had to crouch down to hide behind his chair?

Not got a specific quote for this but the Mouthbot moment in there was hilarious xD

There was a widespread theory that the type of earrings Andra wore could clue observers into what gender Andra was leaning towards that day. Usually the theory was right, but sometimes the publicity and wardrobe people overrode an earring choice.

Hehe, that's a nice touch :) Although I could have sworn you'd been referring to Andra by female pronouns... Maybe that should be neutral since they don't know their current gender at the moment they reference her?

Ellipse gritted her teeth.

^ I think.

“Ah, well, I’m sure she’s very pretty regardless,” Andra said, still smiling. “Tejal, right? It’s wonderful to meet you and your friends. Do you want a picture?”

Wait is this not in the middle of a concert? Is the whole crowd watching this?

and the guards crawled under to block the rest of the crowd, and somewhere in the mess of bodies moving across the tape

Should be a new sentence instead of the second "and".

A broad-shouldered guard


She had definitely acted weird today.

This seems like an unnecessary understatement.

Overall:

GAHHHHHHHHH

This is probably my favourite moment plot-wise so far. The bit the other day with the Specifus in the toilet was quite good - and had been able to see them sad about their friends getting taken away I think that could have been pretty powerful too - but this is just so suspenseful! I think you're handling the lack of information for the reader really well. I've been told off recently for being a bit confusing because I'm just not explaining enough for my readers to follow the story but I absolutely know what's going on. I just don't know whyyyyyyy... Very frustrating. But the good kind of frustrating, you know.

My criticism for this chapter is that, ironically, I didn't really understand the situation. By this I specifically mean the event they are at. I thought Andra was gonna come out and start singing, but this seems to be something of a meet-and-greet? Or a parade? I'm really not sure, but given that they're a singer (using gender neutral language because I'm talking in general not this specific day) so I think it's reasonable for me to assume these people would be here to see them sing. If I was at a gig I'd be pretty annoyed if the artist stopped to take an elaborate selfie with a fan, so I think the type of event needs to be better defined at the start of the chapter.

Hope this helps and please don't keep me waiting so long for next chapter,
Biscuits :P

Although obviously I don't mean that and if uni gets really busy disregard my previous request xD




Ventomology says...


I think you and the others following this story made the assumption that Andra is a girl, but I know for a fact I've never associated any gendered pronouns with them until now.

And the event type should be made clear, yes. I'd probably stick that in earlier though, when Tejal mentions that Andra is on the station.

Thanks again!



ExOmelas says...


Ah dammit, the normalised gender binary strikes again, sorry for the accusation xD Seriously, props to you for the non-binary/genderfluid representation btw, means a lot ^.^




"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul."
— Pablo Neruda