Asteria
Mom and Dad are sending me away.
I’m going to rehabilitation next semester, and then making up any missed classes when I'm out.
That means no prom, no graduation, no Senior Prank, and I'll be the only person in my grade who, oh, my God, won't be graduating.
My life could literally not get any worse.
I don’t want to talk about it right now.
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No review, it's too short! I am just going to say...
I can't believe Asteria isn't feeling guilty for what she's done to Juno.
I mean, yes her life is falling down the drain, but she's hurt her sister D:
Agh, I am so torn between frustration and pity for her right now >.>
Deanie, out.
Hi there!
Ah, so here is where Asteria gets sent away. Why is it that whenever I question something in a review, the question gets answered in the next chapter? I guess I should start questioning more things so my questions will be answered xD
So there obviously isn't much that I have to say about this chapter since it's so short. A normal review of mine would focus on the characters and the overall feel of the chapter and all that. But since it's so short, I won't be able to give much of a regular review.
With that being said, I'd like to focus on the effectiveness of this chapter. It's only five paragraphs, true, but it's five paragraphs of powerful words. Asteria is pissed. She's angry. She's made bad decisions in her life and she's finally paying for it. She thought she was invincible. That's obviously not the case. And she's finally realizing this.
It doesn't surprise me that the only thing she can think about is how she'll be missing out on prom and the senior prank and graduation. She isn't worried about her family, the sister who's life she just ruined, or any of her friends. Now, I'm not saying she's a self centered, egotistical girl. She's anything but. Yet at the present time, she's only concerned about her well being and about all the fun she's going to miss out on. And that's completely in character for her. I love it.
If there's anything that could've been added to this chapter, it could be a bit more about this rehabilitation she's going to be going through. Surely she knows at least something about what's going to be going on. Maybe you could add a little bit of that? I can understand if you don't want to because this chapter is so particular as it is. Just think about it, yeah?
What a brilliant chapter. Seriously, I love it. It fits perfectly with Asteria's personality and what is going on in the story. It doesn't matter that it's no wheres near the same length as the other chapters. It's just the way it's supposed to be
Keep writing!
**Noelle**
aw yis. Next chapter, this made me happier
Hey! IamTraunt here to review!
Nitpick
I'm not sure if you've done this on purpose, but you need to remember that when putting commas, your creating a pause. So, I was thinking, you wouldn't say Oh [pause] my God, you'd just say it all in one 'Oh my God'. Hope this helped.
Characters!
So, I'm trying to make this as helpful as possible even though its really short xD Hope I am.
So, we've seen Asteria do this before - but when she was drunk - so we can see the obvious when it comes to this chapter because as a reader we would ask 'Why would she want to speak when she feels as if her life is ruined?' It is obvious that she has only picked out the negatives; she'll lose her friends, she'll be missing out on all the fun activities and she will have to re-do EVERYTHING. Yeah, well of course that's a bummer! I'd hate that. In such a short paragraph you reflected Asteria's feelings well.
Storyline!
I'm not liking this! What a turn out! I knew something had to be done about Asteria's drinking problem, but WOAH. She's missing out on her life!! Which popular girl doesn't want to go to prom? That's like saying a four year old isn't a loud to play with toys (um, weird comparison lol).
This line just got me going:
A first sentence on a book or a chapter is important. It grabbed my attention right away instead of boring me. This chapter was so good and yet so upsetting.
More! More! More!
Keep writing, my Panster buddy!
Ps. I think you saved this in the wrong folder.
Whoa...
That is so...
What the...
I guess she deserved it...
This is such a short chapter, and so well written, considering the circumstances, that I don't know what to say. I get what's happening, their parents are punishing Asteria without letting Juno find out. I guess that's a good thing for Asteria but they can't hide the truth forever. Not in the course of this story at least ( I think? ). I it's easy to understand why she doesn't want to talk about it. She obviously didn't think things would get so bad. Heck! She didn't think at all. But I commend you for showing us what she is feeling in such a concise update.
Am I talking too much? I'll stop...