Things Fall Apart: Chapter 15: Juno's Lock-In 1.1

Juno

I honest to God can’t remember anything that’s happened this week! It’s all just gone by in a blur. Nothing–nothing– could distract my attention from this day. Asteria hogged Ben all week to make today easier for her to stand, so I haven't had the chance to talk to him alone since Monday.

Emma helps me take my overnight bag from above my locker. By now it’s about 4:00 pm.

“You ready?” asks Ben’s deep voice from just behind my right ear. I shiver. Emma has to leave me to help set up the games and activities, so she gives me over to Ben.

“Help her,” Emma tells Ben. Ben laughs. I can feel his head snapping back with the force of his laughter. I can feel the air reverberate with it, come alive with the sound of it.

No, I'm not in love.

Not yet.

“I will,” Ben says. Emma squeezes my arm and then she’s gone.

“Ready for what?” I ask when she leaves. I hear some girls squealing down the hall. The air feels thicker than usual, like something big is about to happen.

Ben takes the bag from my hands.

“For our day, of course,” he says. I can hear his smile.

“Our day?” I feel Ben shrug. I laugh, and drop the question. “Where are you taking me?”

“The girls are getting set up in the auditorium,” Ben says. “The boys are gonna sleep in the gym.” Ben takes my hand. “Why are you shaking?” he asks.

“Uh...” Ben helps me out of a door and up some stairs to the auditorium. “I’m cold?”

Ben laughs. “Right, sure.”

“I am.” I feel Ben shrug again.

Ben guides me into the crowded-sounding auditorium. We bump into Mrs. Perchnap, the World’s Nicest Lady and Greatest Secretary, who tells us where to set up my sleeping bag and gives me a sheet with all the activities available.

“Thanks, Mrs. P,” Ben says as he leads me away to a far corner of the room.

“Thanks, Ben,” is all I can say as he helps me unfold my sleeping bag and put my stuff down.

“Don’t mention it.” Ben takes my hand again and ushers me back outside, giving me the sheet of activities to clutch in my other hand while he picks up... something else...

“Where are we going?” I ask.

“None of these activities looks fun,” Ben says. “Except the water-gun fight in the indoor pool. So I thought we could go have a picnic on the soccer field.” He must’ve picked up a picnic basket. He sounds so nervous, which makes me feel way more at ease.

“Won’t people be using the soccer field?”

“I got special permission via Mrs. Perchnap,” Ben says. “No one will bother us.”

“Wow,” I say. I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. I need Asteria’s help with this. She’s always been better at this kind of thing.

Ben has been planning this picnic, I think almost incoherently. Ben is taking me to the soccer field for a picnic. I can’t breathe.

Ben stops to get a better grip on the basket. We must be on the soccer field. I take advantage of his stopping to take off my shoes.

“Ready?” he asks, taking my hand again. He must be really scared of letting me fall. The ground is uneven, but my bare feet help me stay steady. The pungent smell of freshly mowed grass fills my nose and I grin. It's my favorite smell, and part of me wonders if Ben had the field mowed especially for this. I shake my head inwardly.

There's no way he could have known that's my favorite scent.

Right?

Ben takes me to what must be the middle of the field because we had to walk a long way. He unfolds a blanket and sets out the food. He helps me sit, wrapping one strong arm around my waist, placing me gently on the ground like I'm made of porcelain.

“Are you hungry?” he asks. He takes the lids off of plastic tubs, which make satisfying sucking sound.

“Not particularly,” I confess. Ben doesn’t say anything so he must be shrugging. I wait for the same sound from the elevator on Monday, the “Oh,” of remembrance. There it is.

“That’s okay,” he says. “We can just hang out and talk.”

“Okay,” I say, “what do you want to talk about?”

“I want to hear all about you,” Ben says. “I want you to tell me everything I’ve been missing out on since we were little.” My heart stops a little.

“Everything?” I ask nervously. Ben pats my hand.

“Okay, not everything, if you have something to hide,” Ben says. Does he know? “But most everything.”

“Okay...” My voice trails a little. “Where do you want me to start?”

“How did you go blind?” Ben asks after a moment. He crunches something in his mouth. Probably a strawberry. Ben loves strawberries– Asteria told me that once.

“I was...” My heart slams against my chest. My palms break out in a sweat. I have to choose my words carefully. Ben remembers a time when I wasn’t blind, which terrifies me. Asteria might’ve slipped while she was under the influence and told him what really happened. I sigh to calm my heart rate. “I’d rather not–”

“It’s okay,” Ben interrupts hastily. “Don’t tell me anything you don’t want me to know.” A heavy pause. “Okay, how about your favorite things?”

Immediately and without warning, we both start to sing.

“THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THIIIIIIINGS!” We fall over on the grass from laughing so much. I have never felt so alive.