z

Young Writers Society



The Crepe and the Pancake

by NivedaJames22


Said the pancake to the crepe,

"What a little creep you are!"

Replied the crepe with a smile,

"That may be so, but at least I don't have

A spectacular paunch like you!"

~

The pancake puffed up 

His fluffy, well-beaten chest and said,

"Fat I may be, but with your stick-like body,

the notion of your filling

even a tiny stomach is unlikely."

~

The crepe was about to retort

When a little girl did dart 

Into the kitchen. She looked at them 

And frowned and went

To open the refrigerator door.

~

She took out a waffle, 

Frozen and cold, 

And drowned it in syrup and took a bite 

With a fork and exclaimed,

"Ah, what a wonderful treat!"


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16 Reviews


Points: 106
Reviews: 16

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Thu Apr 15, 2021 12:22 am
Ilium417 says...



Bro, this is awesome! Really good job! :D






Thank you! :)



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311 Reviews


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Tue Apr 13, 2021 4:49 pm
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Riverlight says...



"A waffle is just a pancake with abs."
-@SilverNight






Lol! Exactly! I always say that to a friend of mine, when we argue about whether pancakes or waffles are better. (I support waffles all way)



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122 Reviews


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Reviews: 122

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Tue Apr 13, 2021 11:51 am
LUNARGIRL says...



Love This!!!






Thank you!



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47 Reviews


Points: 60
Reviews: 47

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Tue Apr 13, 2021 4:35 am
rida says...



Aaaaah! I love this!






Thank you!
Glad you liked it! (:



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17 Reviews


Points: 500
Reviews: 17

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Sun Apr 11, 2021 11:09 pm
WishIHadASword wrote a review...



Hey, how are you doing? You should be doing well because this is the BEST! It was so funny and cute, I just love it! I love the conversation between the pancake and the crepe! It cracked me up whenever they insulted each other because I just imagined food on the table throwing insults and shade haha.

I think I have two favorite lines. One is when the pancake says to the crepe, "What a little creep you are!" I think that is HILARIOUS because of the similarity between creep and crepe. I also love the line when the pancake says, "Fat I may be, but with your stick-like body, the notion of your filling even a tiny stomach is unlikely." Heck yeah, you just got DESTROYED crepe! (Not that I have anything against crepes, hashtag Crepes Are People Too haha).

Besides my two favorite lines, I would have to say my favorite part is at the very end. The little girl comes into the kitchen and we expect to see her pick between the crepe and the pancake, showing us who's really the better food and who will win! But then--PLOT TWIST!--she goes over to the fridge and gets a WAFFLE!! I can just imagine the crepe and the pancake looking so offended haha.

All in all, this is amazing and super well written for something so funny and lighthearted! Please keep writing things like this, I would love to read more! Keep up the phenomenal work!






Thank you! (:



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93 Reviews


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Reviews: 93

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Sun Apr 11, 2021 4:32 pm
starbean wrote a review...



Hello Niveda! hannah here for a review, as requested. Hope it is helpful!

Grows:

"When a little girl did dart
Into the kitchen."

You don't need to capitalize the beginning of every stanza.

"Ah what a wonderful treat!"

I suggest after "Ah" you put a comma.

Glows:

This was so funny! I love how they were arguing over who was better and then someone came in and took something that wasn't either the crepe or the pancake. It made me laugh!


I hope this was helpful! Keep writing and have an amazing day!

I hope to hear more from you! Great job, you are an amazing author.

Sincerely,

@hannah0528






I'll change those mistakes immediately.
Thanks for reviewing! (:




When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.
— Abraham Heschel