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An Ode to A Sunflower

by NivedaJames22


Dear little sunflower

I love the way you stand;

How in the midst of a world so sad,

Like a sunbeam you tower.

-------------------------------------------------

I love the way your dainty smile

Never turns upside-down;

I haven't ever seen you frown

Even when the world presents you with trials.

-------------------------------------------------

I remember when I first saw you,

In the midst of teary eyed haze;

And with a minute of your golden gaze,

I was lifted out of my gloom.

-------------------------------------------------

Every time that I see you stand there

Out of my window as I glance,

A ray of hope that makes me want to prance

Around, despite the pain that inside I bear.

-------------------------------------------------

Dear little sunflower,

Tomorrow you may have gone,

But the hope you gave will, I know, empower

Me to do right instead of wrong. 


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25 Reviews


Points: 7
Reviews: 25

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Thu Apr 08, 2021 3:58 am
BrokenHeartsAri wrote a review...



Hi, BrokenHeartsAri here for a short review!



Wow...This was an amazing poem. I enjoyed reading this so much! I noticed so many things about your poem.

I noticed how beautifully this was written!

It was such a lovely poem!


I love the way you gave more meaning to sunflowers.

Everyone knows that flowers have meaning, but not everyone knows the meaning of flowers.


They help express emotions we’re reluctant to say aloud and reinforce the sentiment behind a gift.







My favorite part was


I remember when I first saw you,

In the midst of teary-eyed haze;

And with a minute of your golden gaze,

I was lifted out of my gloom.


I loved that part the most



I don't have any type of criticism this was just an amazing poem.









Keep up the great work-BrokenHeartsAri






Thank you!



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14 Reviews


Points: 227
Reviews: 14

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Thu Apr 08, 2021 3:31 am
WishIHadASword wrote a review...



Hello, how are you doing today? Well, I hope! Well, I'm here to review this magical poem of yours!

When I first began reading, I immediately noticed how beautifully this was written! I really like to describe it as "pretty," although it sounds silly haha. But it really is just PRETTY the way you describe things and use certain word choices to trigger certain emotions!

I think my favorite part of this whole poem is when you say: How in the midst of a world so sad, Like a sunbeam you tower. That's so inspiring and nice to read! It really puts an image into my head, and the sunflower kind of personifies determination and happiness in this poem. Like it's the last good thing standing in the wreckage. I love that line!

I'm going to close off by saying that this poem is truly amazing! It's beyond phenomenal and I love it so very much! I just want to say that the last line is also very inspirational, and it brings me joy to read it. Your writing is amazing, please know that, and I would love to hear more like this!

Keep up the absolutely amazing work! I hope to read some more of your work sometime! See you later!






Thank you for such a sweet review!



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16 Reviews


Points: 1081
Reviews: 16

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Wed Apr 07, 2021 10:12 pm
blueca wrote a review...



Hello, and a belated welcome to YWS! This is a absolutely lovely poem, so here's a review :D

The sunflower metaphor is a strong foundation. The way that you play with it a little throughout, mentioning the different characteristics of the "sunflower" and how they affect the narrator. There's a fair amount of room to interpret the metaphor as well, allowing the reader to connect on a more personal level. Are they a friend, a parental figure, a partner, or something else entirely? It's hard to say for sure, which adds another lovely layer of meaning to the work.

In my opinion, the flow and structure of the poem could use some revision. The first stanza doesn't establish the rhyme scheme very well since "stand" and "sad" don't quite rhyme, which muddies the piece. The line breaks at some points don't feel natural, like

A ray of hope that makes me want to prance
Around, despite the pain that inside I bear.
When I read a poem, a line is like an individual piece of thought. Spots like this break up that thought into awkward pieces, which make the poem a little more difficult to read and understand. There's just the right amount of clunky line breaks like this for it to feel like a simple reoccuring issue and not a stylistic choice, too.

I love how the first and last stanzas start with the same line. It ties the piece together into a shiny little bow! There's a lot to love about this poem, and I hope my suggestions can help it be even better. Happy NaPoWriMo, and keep writing!

Blueca






Thanks for reviewing!
I agree about the structure...it could use some work...thank you for pointing it out.



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6 Reviews


Points: 78
Reviews: 6

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Wed Apr 07, 2021 3:48 pm
Nicole136 wrote a review...



all I can say is WOW. this is an amazing poem. I love the word choice, the way it was worded, and deep meaning. all the things you want in a poem. i love how it gives a spotlight to all the "sunflowers" in the world, and how it inspires you to be one too. and I really like the rhyming scheme. I also really love the ending

Dear little sunflower,

Tomorrow you may have gone,

But the hope you gave will, I know, empower

Me to do right instead of wrong.

this poem i just so impowering
keep up the great work





Most people ignore most poetry because most poetry ignores most people.
— Adrian Mitchell