Hi! I'm here for a review.
I read this work before, but I'm reviewing it only now "^_^
I love how you portray our choices and thoughts, how we try to do things which we don't have to. The message you give, that we don't need to prove anything to anybody by trying something too hard, which we don't have to do.
Also, it's relatable how you explain that when somebody tells us that we can't do something, we try even harder to finish the task, just out of spite and the need to prove ourselves.
I think it's great how you write the last stanza in the second person. It sounds like you're talking to that butterfly within us, and not to some nondescript imaginary butterfly.
I think my favourite part was these two stanzas:
But she forgot that she too has limits,
And that she isn't and doesn't have to be "superwoman",
And in her attempts to carry the world on her shoulders,
She forgot that she really doesn't have to.
~
This is what the world does,
It tries to make the butterfly lift the pile of stones,
Ignoring that she maybe just can't,
And that is okay, because she doesn't have to.
They both just spoke to me so beautifully.
In the first stanza of this quote, you say she 'forgot', but I think it would be better if it was 'she forgets'. But that's up to you.
I'd say you don't have to capitalize the start of each line, but again, that's up to you.
I found that in the last word of the second line, you've written 'hil'. that should probably be 'hill'
Other than that your poem was amazing!!
Keep Writing!
Points: 1285
Reviews: 76
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