Young Writers Society

Simple yet Insightfully honest.
I can see this poem in an old storybook from my grandfathers house.
This feels reminiscent of classic poetry and fairytales like "the Selfish Giant" or "The frog prince".
however with the idea of classic children's poems in mind i was slightly bewildered by the lack of rhyme, but this is a mere nitpick.
I am sensing themes of insecurity and the pressures of growing up, or rather the fear of failing to Grow up.

this may speak to children in one way and adults in another, you even seem to keep the age ambiguous...very clever.

Good Morning/Evening/Night!

I really liked this poem! I loved the imagery! The imagery is so real, and it’s hard to find poems with this amount of imagery. Usually poems have inferences, and a tad bit of imagery, but this poem had the same amount of description as a short story! Usually I wouldn’t suggest that much imagery, but I think this poem wouldn’t have the same impact without it.

I liked the message, and feeling the poem has. To me, it seems like sadness, reminiscent, and loss. It seems like the person narrating is remembering a lost mother, most likely, and is mourning her. This feeling is conveyed through the shoes.

The only thing I would do would be to make it rhyme, but I just like it when poems rhyme. But please feel free to ignore this, and continue on with your beautiful poem.

I really liked your poem, and hope to see more of your work around!

Happy writing!

-Lizzy

Oof
Well put my good sir🤝
Ma'am, whatever
I love the visual, so clear, of taking the shoe box down, and putting them on in the tall mirror, which I imagine for some reason is just as musty as the shoes.
The gentle sigh.
One thing that is a little jarring is the use of obscure P+F vernacular, if you know what I mean.
On the other hand, frayed tips are a very realistic image, maybe just roll the frayed aglets in her fingers or something to make it more sensual.
Yeah, I think that would be the best advice I could give, add more sensory input, especially touch, the feel of the shoes as she slips them on or something.
Good job, me gusta este mucho, tú pagas mi corazón ♥️