z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

ode to a bagel crumb stuck in my thoat

by momonster


                                                  oh, bagel crumb, my dearest friend,

                                                   you know i love your company!

                                             but i think you've gotten too comfortable,

                                                 because i can't get you to leave.


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Fri May 28, 2021 5:15 pm
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Riverlight wrote a review...



Oh my gosh! XDDDD

Hey, Momo, it is Vilnius here to review your poem! When I saw the word ''ode'' in the title, I was expecting a longer poem. Typically, odes are written with stanzas that have at least ten lines, and normally an ode has at least three to five stanzas (which sounds like a lot, but once you get going, it usually is not ;-;). Just mental note of that for personal reference XD

oh, bagel crumb, my dearest friend,

awww, you have made a new friend! You will have to introduce me at some point, you know XD

you know i love your company!

Maybe I will, too, at some point <.< XDDDDD


but i think you've gotten too comfortable,
because i can't get you to leave.

Nuuuuu, let it stay! >:( Don't make your new friend leave, especially before I have a chance to meet them! :(

Really, though, I must admit that this was cute and hilarious to read this afternoon XDD Maybe now I will have to write one about pollen in the south <.<

Have a nice [*insert time of day here*]!!!




momonster says...


LOLLLLL I AM GLAD YOU LIKED IT



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Wed May 26, 2021 12:09 pm
LizzyTyler says...



Wow, that was so great! XD




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60 Reviews


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Wed May 26, 2021 12:09 pm
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LizzyTyler says...



Wow, that was so great! XD




momonster says...


I'm glad you thought so! <3



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Tue May 25, 2021 2:59 pm
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starbean wrote a review...



Hi Momo! hannah here for a quick review. I hope it is helpful!

This poem was really funny, it was simple and made me laugh out loud. Only someone who had a bagel crumb stuck in their throat could write this. It would have took me all day to write this. This is like a mix of prose and poetry, and I like it.

"but i think you've gotten too comfortable,
because i can't get you to leave."

that was just too funny.

Sorry this review was so short. I hope it was helpful! Keep writing and have a great day.


hannah




momonster says...


Thanks for the review!



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Tue May 25, 2021 9:31 am
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Phillauthet wrote a review...



This is one of the most simplistic and funny poems I have come across, and I have come across a lot of poems. Maybe you actually had a bagel crumb (and I have no idea what that is) stuck in your throat, because there's no other way someone could've thought about something like this. Unless you were really, really bored. This poem reminds me of Roald Dahl's work, though that's prose, not poetry. The hyperbolic expressions really add to the funniness. Poems like these are seriously underrated, and need more publicizing.

Anyway, Keep Writing!!




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Mon May 24, 2021 5:12 pm
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this is actually really cute i love it




momonster says...


Aw I'm glad you liked it!! <3



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Mon May 24, 2021 3:18 pm
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MaybeAndrew wrote a review...



hey momo, just wanted to leave a real quick review.
This reminds me of Shel Silverstein - which is to say it's some of the only poetry I understand and really enjoy.
As far as critiques go the last line is good, but I feel there is a way to make it pop a little more, I'm no poetry expert though, but I think maybe you could build up to it better with the previous line. Idk, as mentioned, the only poetry I really understand is written for small children, so take that with a grain of salt.
but I like it none the less, it's simplicity and childlike whimsy is entertaining
Thanks, and keep writing,
Andrew




momonster says...


Thanks so much! Shel is one of my favorite poets, so hearing (er, seeing?) you say that means so so much to me, so thanks again! <3




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