Setting: MAN'S Van
MAN
Ok, so we have two things on our list before we go. We need to get hold of some weapons.
SEBASTIAN
Oh we already have some! (Smiles)
MAN
Oh really? What kind?
SEBASTIAN
We have food guns, glitter guns, and my favorite, soap guns! (Grins even wider)
KID 1
The weapons are so cool and powerful, the bad guys won't stand a chance! (bounces up and down excitedly)
MAN
(Eyes widen)... Wow... Were, they like that when you found them?
SEBASTIAN
Nope! We found them at a military base and altered them from shooting bullets to shooting better stuff! Because it's VERY rude to kill people.
MAN
(Sighs) Well, I guess your right. But in that case, we need one more type of gun. A veggie gun.
KIDS
(Scream) WHAT?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! THAT'S TOO DEADLY!!! WE WON'T SURVIVE!!! THEY ARE TOO POWERFULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!
MAN
(Smiles and starts to chuckle) Well, sometimes you've got to use the most deadly of substances to win the fight.
KIDS
(Frown) I guess your right. But if we better not have to eat them...
KIT
(looks at the MAN) Also... if you're going to make us use veggie guns.... we should at least know your name! What do we call you?
MAN
You can call me Harry.
KID 1
Okay! What about your last name?
HARRY
You can call me Harry The Namedy.
KID 2
Alrighty then, Harry deNamedy! What happens next?
HARRY
No, it's Harry the- (Sighs) Nevermind. Well after we make some veggie guns we're going to need one more thing. A plan.
KIT
Ooh, I know what to do! Hey Harry, do you have any trashcans?
HARRY
Ya, it's right over there. (Points across the room) But it's full of trash. Also, real quicky what do you all think of my nice clean-
KIT
(takes the trashcan and dumps the trash on the floor) ...Oops. (quickly turns the trashcan over and stands on it) Sorry about that...
HARRY
... (Sighs) I don't know what else I expected from a bunch of sugar-filled kids...
KIT
(looks apologetic for a second, then perks up) Well, what I was going to say was... Listen up, everyone! Seb, Gus-- your groups can start working on the veggie guns, and my group can work with Harry to make a plan!
SEBASTIAN AND GUS
Fine... But you have to load the veggies inside.
KIT
Okay! (Looks at HARRY) Could you..?
HARRY
Fine whatever.
KIT
(claps hands) Thanks! Now for the plan... What should we plan first? Let's make this the biggest, grandest, greatest, planniest of all plans!
HARRY
That's the hope. Anyways we first need to get into the base. I'm too big to blend in so you and your friends are going to have to put on the minion suits again. I will take Sebastian's place here so he can go along. We need all hands on deck.
KIT
(pouts) The minion suits are ugly... But okay, fine-- we'll do it to save the world. Oh, and we saw the brothers at a kiddie pool when we first went to spy, although they might have moved by then...
HARRY
Then that will be the first place we look. Also, since the weapons are too big to carry we're going to either need to get some people to bring them in when needed or sneak them in from the beginning.
KIT
(perks up) Hey, if some of us dressed up as top minions, we could pretend we're carrying in the weapons because the brothers told us to! The regular minions probably wouldn't question anything, and the sunglasses might make the horrible suits slightly better! Ooh, and I don't know if Seb mentioned it to you, but we also made a weapon that lets out a super high-pitched noise that only hamsters can hear. (proudly displays the small machine to HARRY)
HARRY
(Grabs the square-like object) Wow. (Nods head) This is quite impressive. Complements to the engineer. So I'm assuming the noise comes out of the air pockets along the sides, but how is it activated and powered? What does it run on?
KIT
(looks at the machine) Hmm, I'm not sure. Gus and Seb can remote-control it, and I'm pretty sure there's a button near the top too, but I don't know how it works on the inside. That's just because I wasn't there when they were making it; I was busy with the actual spying stuff. (grins)
HARRY
Well, I'm sure Sebastian knows what he's doing. Anyways back to the plan. You, Gus, and Sebastian can dress up as top minions while the rest of your friends dress up as regular minions. I'll be directing all of you from the van and will activate the high-pitched machine once the minions come. Then it will just be you and the brothers. I have these handcuffs that you can use to lock them up until we can begin curing the people. It should be easy to take them down once you catch up to them considering you have the numerical advantage.
KIT
Alright! That sounds like a great plan. (looks at the rest of the KIDS, the KIDS nod in agreement)
HARRY
So. Are you ready?
KIDS
Yeah! (pause a moment) Okay, before you tell us to say it again... YEAHH!!
HARRY
Then let's save the world.
(KIDS cheer as dramatic music plays in the background)
KID 1
(looks around) Hey, where's that music coming from?
KID 2
(holds up a phone playing music, then puts a finger to her lips) Shh, don't ruin the moment!
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,731 Reviews
Hi MapleWay and Spearmint,
I liked how the preparations are brought to the fore here, and new discoveries are made. I liked how Kit still has the upper hand and does everything her own way (Emptying bins to stand on. 
). This characterization went well.
One thing I noticed while reading was that you didn't put the names in the centre like in the last acts.
Mailice back with a short review!
This act had it all. Not only is there a great upgrade for the kids, but they are with a shady guy in a van who wants to help them.
In the last act, I was still a bit skeptical about how the man would help the children and whether he wouldn't get too much screentime, but I think they can definitely produce a good teamwork.
What I liked about both acts was that again it felt a bit different from the previous ones. I think the humour took a different path again here, which I liked, and was also more direct in its involvement with the plot.
There are a few times where the letters got lost in the writing, which I noticed here, but it's not that dramatic; you could still read out what it was supposed to mean though. I would just read over it again in the future to eliminate them and tie them up so they don't run away from the vegetables.
Other points I noticed while reading:
I can really imagine the whole van bouncing with the child's joy.
I would remove the comma here (and at most add it after "that") and write the "foud" to "found".
I like the innocence of the children and also the idea that they are still so good-natured even though they are already something of a guerrilla army.
Here it should be "Well I guess you're right."
This is the cruelest invention in the world since tomatoes.
Well, that was unexpected, meeting HarryHardy and me here.
Veggies are forbidden to touch.
I'm literally on board with that.
Here's an "s" escaped because of all the talk around veggies.
*beginning.
*I'll be directing. Further, the letters run away from the vegetables. Can understand all too well.
*numerical
This is a great ending for the new alliance and preparation for a great fight!
The chapter is bursting with humour and narrative. I liked how everything played out the way it is, and am also curious to see how many more kids will fall over once they come in contact with vegetables.
Have fun writing!
Mailice.
Thanks for the review! Sorry I about all of the spelling errors >.> Will definitely fix those and center the names. Also I%u2019m glad you liked Harry deNamedy! You and Harry have helped so much with the making of this play so me and Spearmint wanted to give a reference to you two in some way!
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: AHHHHHHHHH...on one hand, that is an awesome plan there, and I love how things are really moving now, there's a plan to save the world and these folks are about to go execute it but also...that man's name...
Anyway let's get right to it,
I should not have laughed as hard as I did on the words "Man's Van"
Oh don't you worry Veggie Man, you have no idea how positively dangerous and powerful the cache of weapons these kids have managed to acquire is...no one is going to stand a chance against an army with that level of firepower.
I feel like we should have some dramatic music playing at this point.
Oh most definitely...also...I like seeing that this man is in fact showing the proper amount of awe in front of these truly awesome weapons here.
Oh he's most definitely veggie man is he's planning on creating a weapon so singularly powerful that it could truly put someone in a pickle....*cough* bad pun alert *cough*...let's all pretend we didn't see that.
Well it looks like we have a sort of agreement here between the kids and Veggie Man...
Oooh..we've not had a new named character introduced in quite a while...so this definitely seems like someone that'd be a main character here...this is going to be quite exciting here....
Hmm...that name sounds strangely familiar...its definitely a very cool name that this man has
That name is entirely too familiar....I get the strangest feeling of...never mind, let's get on with the story shall we.
Harry has clearly figured out quite quickly that its a terrible idea to argue with the kids...that's how you know this is someone that knows what he's doing...
Oh noo...they're going to stand on the trashcan's again aren't they....well serves Harry right for actually daring to clean up his van...everyone knows messy vans are the best sort of vans.
Ahh...the contrast with the kids that accept everything crazy and the veggie man who actually seems to realize what's happening is a touch crazy is awesome and also hilarious.
Hmm, well, they could always just wear one of these everything proof gloves that every protagonist has lying around.
Ahh, this guy's personality clashes so beautifully the kids here, they definitely make for an awesome team, I really hope this one doesn't turn out to be secretly evil and helping team cookies cause I would be quite sad.
Saving the world does tend to call for all hands on deck on most occasions...that's a good call by Harry there...
Ahh, I can't wait to see how the Great Battle of the Kiddie Pool goes, that's sure to go down in history as one of the greatest and most intense battles ever fought.
Oooh..not entirely sure what the purpose would be...perhaps to summon some for of hamster army...but it definitely sounds like a pretty cool concept there...not to mention not an easy thing to make there.
Of course....I'm quite sure the button is probably somehow magic and that is how it all works out there.
Ooooh...that sounds like a plan...and he didn't even to have to stand on top of a trashcan to come up with...hmm...truly an impressive feat there...
We've been waiting for this for quite a long time now.
Ahhh...*falls of chair*
Yay!! Dramatic music was actually played in the background that time...I didn't even have to put it in myself...
Ahh...a very fitting end to that epic chapter...I can't wait to see how this plan to save the world is going to go.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall...another lovely chapter here, I managed to fall off my chair two time in this one. I love the direction the plot is heading in here. Its definitely moving towards what I think could be perhaps a final battle...or maybe its just the second battle and there's going to be more to come. Either way, I'm really excited to see what'll come next here.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Thanks for the great review Harry! Glad you like the reference to you and Malice! Spearmint and I are very grateful for how much you two have been helping with the play that we wanted to include you two in some way!
You're Welcome!!
Aww <33
Here are all of the previous acts!
A (Totally Not Evil) Bakesale, Act 1
A (Totally Not Evil) Bakesale, Act 2
A (Totally Not Evil) Bakesale, Act 3
A (Totally Not Evil) BakeSale, Act 4
(A Totally Not Evil) Bakesale, Act 5
A (Totally Not Evil) BakeSale, Act 6
(A Totally Not Evil) Bakesale, Act 7
(A Totally Not Evil) Bakesale, Act 8
(A Totally Not Evil) Bakesale, Act 9
A (Totally Not Evil) Bakesale, Act 10
(A Totally Not Evil) Bakesale, Act 11
A (Totally Not Evil) Bakesale, Act 12
(A Totally Not Evil) Bakesale, Act 13
A (Totally Not Evil) Bakesale, Act 14
A (Totally Not Evil) Bakesale, Act 15
A (Totally Not Evil) Bakesale, Act 16