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A (Totally Not Evil) Bakesale, Act 14

by MapleWay, Spearmint


Setting: The entrance to the 7 flagsVexical CitySurge City currently-unnamed amusement park

SEBASTIAN

Kit, do you hear me? Over.

KIT

(grabs her walkie-talkie) Yup! Loud and clear! Alright, are you in position? Over.

SEBASTIAN

Yes, we are. Over.

KIT

Awesome. We'll head in then! Over.

SEBASTIAN

Sounds good. Over. And don't forget. I can see everything you see. I attached a phone to your chest and am FaceTiming it right now. Over.

KIT

Great! Don't let us get kidnapped by the real minions, okay? Blast them with that super high-pitched noise only hamsters can hear! Over.

SEBASTIAN

Roger! Gus is ready at any time! Right, Gus?

GUS (With a handful of barbeque chips in his mouth)

Yep! I've got this. (Leans over and almost presses the button.)

SEBASTIAN

Gus!

GUS

Oh sorry! (Sits back in his chair)

SEBASTIAN

(Sighs in relief) Over...

KIT (to the kids following her)

Alrighty then. Remember our mission: scope out the park and figure out where exactly the villains are hiding. Save any adults who seem to be in serious trouble, like-- oh, that guy over there! (runs over to where a man is being harassed by hamster-minions going for his veggie sandwich)

KIT (to the minions)

Hey, stop bothering that poor guy! I heard there are a ton of fresh fruits and veggies uh... over there! (points far away)

(Minions runoff, the man looks blankly around and then resumes eating his sandwich)

KIT (turning back to the kids)

Anyways, yeah! Let's get started! (glances around the park) ...Huh, what's that big group that's coming towards us...?

(A group of minions comes towards the childr- ahem! Minions.)

MINIONS

Helloeth fellow minionsh! The bosshesh wanths ush tho go tho their meething! Follow ush!

KIT

(looks meaningfully at the other kids) Okayeth! Shounds good!

(The "minions" follow them and eventually end up in a ticket booth waiting for the bosshesh- sorry. The bosses to arrive.)

KIT

So... oopsh, I mean sho... Do you guysh know where the vill-- bosshesh are? Vex and Shurge?

MINIONS

Oh noth them! The thop minionsh! They are shuper cool and wear aweshome shun glasshesh!

KIT

Ohkay! (more quietly) Shunglasshesh... hm...

(About what felt like an hour later...)

TOP MINIONS (wearing, in fact, super-awesome shiny sunglasses)

MINIONS!!!

(MINIONS snap to attention, straightening their regular glasses and standing up straight)

TOP MINIONS

ARE YOU READY TO HEAR THE MOST JUICY AMAZING TOP SECRET THING YOU'LL EVER HEAR!

(The MINIONS shout "YESH!", with KIT and the kids shouting loudest of all)

TOP MINIONS

WELL TO BAD! Only the top Minions get to know! So get back to work!

MINIONS

(grumble) Fine...

TOP MINIONS

Oh, and the bosses have ordered some SUPER-SPECIAL SUGARY DRINKS to be delivered IMMEDIATELY! And don't forget the SNACKS either!

(KIT and the other... Minions. Follow all of the other minions and get a tray each. They then are pointed in the direction of where the brothers are and find the relaxing in the kiddie pool with floaties and life vests on.)

KID 1

(whispers quietly) I wanna play in the kiddie pool...

KIT

(also whispers) Shh! After our spying mission, and after we save the world!

(The minions and "minions" deliver the drinks and snacks to the brothers, then the minions leave. The "minions" hide in a nearby ticket booth and in a couple of close bushes.)

SURGE

Ahhh... Another great day in Surge City!

VEX

(frowns and splashes SURGE with water) Excuse me, it was Vex City, remember?

SURGE

VEXICAL!!! WE DISCUSSED THIS!

VEX

YEAH! But we agreed on VEX CITY! (crosses arms)

SURGE

*Sighs* We can discuss that again later! But now we need to talk about the most juicy amazing top-secret thing ever!

VEX

Ah yes, the top secret-est top-secret thing in the whole wide world! Mwehehe... (pauses) Um... actually... What's the secret again?

SURGE

WHY MUST I ALWAYS BE THE ONE TO REMIND YOU!? *Sighs* Fine I'll tell you. It's not like anyone going to hear us right! We're in the most top-secret theme park in the entire world!

VEX

Yup! Totally secure-- even I've never heard of it before! Well... uh... not that I've heard of many theme parks... Ahem! Point is, you can tell me the secret now! I'm really curious...

SURGE

Okay... The secret. That you've been wanting to hear! The most juicy! The most secret! The most secrety! The most-

VEX

(coughs loudly) I get it, I get it! Now could you get on with it? I'M DYING TO KNOW!

SURGE

Fine. The super scrumptious sugar cookies we spent months working on somehow have a cure that would completely ruin our plans has been discovered. It's very complex so there no way anyone would find out.

VEX

Phew, well at least that's good... but what's the cure?

SURGE

It's ve- ve- veGtABleS *Cringes*

VEX

(gasps) How horrifying! (gags) But good thing there's no way our plans could be ruined-- no one would ever want to eat ve- vegetables!


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Thu Jun 24, 2021 12:02 pm
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm baaaack with another review!!! Ahh, I love how far this has already gotten. :D

First Impression: Ahh, this scene was definitely as exciting and hilarious as I expected and ahh, I can't help but be suspicious of the ending there...I have a feeling team jellybeans has been discovered here.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Setting: The entrance to the 7 flagsVexical CitySurge City currently-unnamed amusement park

SEBASTIAN

Kit, do you hear me? Over.


xD...I love the callback to the naming session earlier...and oooh, looks like we have secret missions going on at the moment here.

KIT

(grabs her walkie-talkie) Yup! Loud and clear! Alright, are you in position? Over.

SEBASTIAN

Yes, we are. Over.

KIT

Awesome. We'll head in then! Over.


Ahh, I have a feeling this conversation is going to continue to be ridiculously funny as we continue here...especially them just totally overusing the word over...which isn't even wrong, there are occasions where this is actually correct, although this is certainly not one of them...xD

SEBASTIAN

Sounds good. Over. And don't forget. I can see everything you see. I attached a phone to your chest and am FaceTiming it right now. Over.

KIT

Great! Don't let us get kidnapped by the real minions, okay? Blast them with that super high-pitched noise only hamsters can hear! Over.


Okay...that sounds like a properly deadly weapon there, not gonna lie.

SEBASTIAN

Roger! Gus is ready at any time! Right, Gus?

GUS (With a handful of barbeque chips in his mouth)

Yep! I've got this. (Leans over and almost presses the button.)

SEBASTIAN

Gus!

GUS

Oh sorry! (Sits back in his chair)


I'm sure he didn't mean to do that on purpose...he was just distracted by the barbeque chips and that is completely understandable in a situation like that.

SEBASTIAN

(Sighs in relief) Over...

KIT (to the kids following her)

Alrighty then. Remember our mission: scope out the park and figure out where exactly the villains are hiding. Save any adults who seem to be in serious trouble, like-- oh, that guy over there! (runs over to where a man is being harassed by hamster-minions going for his veggie sandwich)


Yeah, that guy was absolutely in mortal danger there..xD...I love their definition of serious trouble...well, this is already just as fun as I thought it was going to be.

KIT (to the minions)

Hey, stop bothering that poor guy! I heard there are a ton of fresh fruits and veggies uh... over there! (points far away)

(Minions runoff, the man looks blankly around and then resumes eating his sandwich)


Oooh, the disguises are working flawlessly, this is lovely to see...

KIT (turning back to the kids)

Anyways, yeah! Let's get started! (glances around the park) ...Huh, what's that big group that's coming towards us...?

(A group of minions comes towards the childr- ahem! Minions.)


Oh they're definitely minions...

MINIONS

Helloeth fellow minionsh! The bosshesh wanths ush tho go tho their meething! Follow ush!

KIT

(looks meaningfully at the other kids) Okayeth! Shounds good!

(The "minions" follow them and eventually end up in a ticket booth waiting for the bosshesh- sorry. The bosses to arrive.)


Ahh, this minion speak is going to definitely make me laugh too hard now....ahh, I love where this is going already....and the fact that stage directions are also getting in on the joke is just icing on the cake here.

KIT

So... oopsh, I mean sho... Do you guysh know where the vill-- bosshesh are? Vex and Shurge?

MINIONS

Oh noth them! The thop minionsh! They are shuper cool and wear aweshome shun glasshesh!


Ah of course, the mark of a boss is wearing cool sunglasses, this is something that we should all know by now of course.

KIT

Ohkay! (more quietly) Shunglasshesh... hm...

(About what felt like an hour later...)

TOP MINIONS (wearing, in fact, super-awesome shiny sunglasses)


Oooh, the top minions have arrived I see.

MINIONS!!!

(MINIONS snap to attention, straightening their regular glasses and standing up straight)

TOP MINIONS

ARE YOU READY TO HEAR THE MOST JUICY AMAZING TOP SECRET THING YOU'LL EVER HEAR!


Yes...top secret things would be AWESOME right about now....this is almost too good to be true right now....

(The MINIONS shout "YESH!", with KIT and the kids shouting loudest of all)

TOP MINIONS

WELL TO BAD! Only the top Minions get to know! So get back to work!

MINIONS

(grumble) Fine...


Ahhhh....I don't know whether to laugh or groan at that one...but very nicely done there at any rate. ;)

T
OP MINIONS

Oh, and the bosses have ordered some SUPER-SPECIAL SUGARY DRINKS to be delivered IMMEDIATELY! And don't forget the SNACKS either!

(KIT and the other... Minions. Follow all of the other minions and get a tray each. They then are pointed in the direction of where the brothers are and find the relaxing in the kiddie pool with floaties and life vests on.)


Ooohh...snack delivery, that sounds like it could potentially get them some information about the suuuper secret plans there, those two are certainly careless with where they discuss their plans sometimes.

KID 1

(whispers quietly) I wanna play in the kiddie pool...

KIT

(also whispers) Shh! After our spying mission, and after we save the world!

(The minions and "minions" deliver the drinks and snacks to the brothers, then the minions leave. The "minions" hide in a nearby ticket booth and in a couple of close bushes.)


Yes, sadly you can't take a break until you've managed to save the world succesfully.

SURGE

Ahhh... Another great day in Surge City!

VEX

(frowns and splashes SURGE with water) Excuse me, it was Vex City, remember?


I know I voted for Vex city.

SURGE

VEXICAL!!! WE DISCUSSED THIS!

VEX

YEAH! But we agreed on VEX CITY! (crosses arms)


I definitely did, sorry Surge, I have to support Vex on this one...

SURGE

*Sighs* We can discuss that again later! But now we need to talk about the most juicy amazing top-secret thing ever!

VEX

Ah yes, the top secret-est top-secret thing in the whole wide world! Mwehehe... (pauses) Um... actually... What's the secret again?


Why do I get the feeling the two of them know the kids are near and are acting this up to make sure the kids hear themm...sure they tend to act very silly, but this is crossing the line for even them. I am very suspicious.

SURGE

WHY MUST I ALWAYS BE THE ONE TO REMIND YOU!? *Sighs* Fine I'll tell you. It's not like anyone going to hear us right! We're in the most top-secret theme park in the entire world!

VEX

Yup! Totally secure-- even I've never heard of it before! Well... uh... not that I've heard of many theme parks... Ahem! Point is, you can tell me the secret now! I'm really curious...


Oh these two are laying it on thick here...and I continue to get even more suspicious at the moment...ahhh, its hard to judge though with the style of this script..xD

SURGE

Okay... The secret. That you've been wanting to hear! The most juicy! The most secret! The most secrety! The most-

VEX

(coughs loudly) I get it, I get it! Now could you get on with it? I'M DYING TO KNOW!


I feel you on that one there Vex.

SURGE

Fine. The super scrumptious sugar cookies we spent months working on somehow have a cure that would completely ruin our plans has been discovered. It's very complex so there no way anyone would find out.

VEX

Phew, well at least that's good... but what's the cure?


Oooh, what is this fabled cure....

SURGE

It's ve- ve- veGtABleS *Cringes*

VEX

(gasps) How horrifying! (gags) But good thing there's no way our plans could be ruined-- no one would ever want to eat ve- vegetables!


Oh now, we're all doomed, unless their lying and simply trying to trick the kids here....if this is the truth, there's truly no hope left for humanity. There's no way anyone is going to eat vegetables...or now that I think about it, wasn't there a veggies sandwhich involved somewhere at the start...uh oh...;)

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, another lovely act here, now I'm reallly excited to see what's to come next ahh, this cliffhanger is too powerful...well, I shall wait patiently. :D

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




MapleWay says...


Thanks for the review Harry!



HarryHardy says...


You're Welcome!!



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Thu Jun 24, 2021 9:41 am
MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi MapleWay and Spearmint,

Mailice back with a short review! :D

The first thing that caught my eyes, was the title. In the previous instalments, the title read "Bakesale", here it is written "Bake-Sale". Nevertheless, let's start with the actual text! :D

That was a great chapter. I like how it leads straight from the last one to this one, and how the kids... pardon minions are now inside the amusement park and getting closer to their goal. This act creates an excellent cliffhanger with the ending, where I eagerly await how the children will now proceed.

I like how the humour itself rises to the highest level to the top Minions and Vex and Surge. It gives the whole script such a fun-loving and smile-inducing vein. I also noticed (positive point) that this act is a bit longer than the previous ones. I like that, and also that here as a reader you got a glimpse not only of the children, but also of Vex and Surge.

What I thought would give the most trouble at the beginning was the pronunciation of the Minions, but it actually reads very well (and funny). I don't know why, but I like the way they speak. It sounds like they have something in their mouths to chew on all the time.

I thought this act (and the previous one) were well written. I definitely like how the plot is now moving forward with a new pace, and as a result the story is also developing. So the confrontation can come. Still, you create a good serenity between the seriousness and the fun in the act, which I still envy (how do you do this? :D) and find great.

Other points that stood out while reading:

Setting: The entrance to the 7 flagsVexical CitySurge City currently-unnamed amusement park

I like how the narrator himself takes a neutral stance here. :D You already put a smile on my face with that.

(runs over to where a man is being harassed by hamster-minions going for his veggie sandwich)

Oh, after reading the act, it looks like an excellent forshadowing! Well done.

(A group of minions comes towards the childr- ahem! Minions.)

And here the narrator takes a stand for the children. :D

(The "minions" follow them and eventually end up in a ticket booth waiting for the bosshesh- sorry. The bosses to arrive.)

I don't think I've read that for a while, the narrator helping to put a smile on the reader's face. I can really imagine the voice coming from a grandfather, calm and crackling, and he doesn't let on if he has a slip of the tongue. :D

ARE YOU READY TO HEAR THE MOST JUICY AMAZING TOP SECRET THING YOU'LL EVER HEAR!

Yes, I am ready. After a question mark replaces the exclamation mark. :D

TOP MINIONS
WELL TO BAD! Only the top Minions get to know! So get back to work!

Wow. This is unexpected...

Shh! After our spying mission, and after we save the world!

Kit says this in such a tone, as if saving the world is a Sunday visit to church. :D

SURGE
It's ve- ve- veGtABleS *Cringes*

Enter my 10-year-old self, who once wanted to start a club called "The Haters of Vegetables". The club had three members. :D


This act made me go from grin to grin. I liked that a lot. :D I wonder what will happen next?

Have fun writing!

Mailice




MapleWay says...


Thanks a lot for the great review!




You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension: a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You’re moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into… the Twilight Zone.
— Rod Serling