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Pancakes: Part 2

by MapleWay, Spearmint


MAKE SURE YOU HAVE READ PART 1 BEFORE YOU READ THIS! LINK IS DOWN BELOW!


Sandwich

Feeling restless I go on a walk.

As I go by the local park I see a little kid

scarfing down a sandwich.

He looks as if he has somewhere to be.

Not in a dreadful way though.

He is excited.

I too know this feeling.

I was sixteen,

and for the first time in a while,

was excited.

Dad promised me he would

take me out for my first drive.

I felt confident he would.

He had been doing better lately.

I swallow the remains of my sandwich and go outside.

I expect to see my dad and the car but I see neither.

Confused, I go back inside to see if he left a note.

He did.

"Be back tonight. Had to go on an errand. - Dad"

Errand!?

"Why wont you just say it as it is!"

I run into my bedroom and shut everything.

My door.

My emotions.

But most of all.

I shut down myself.

~~~

Cupcake

Quietly walking home, I see

a squashed cupcake on the sidewalk,

the icing smeared, the sprinkles crushed to powder.

It looks like how I feel.

And it reminds me of when we were going to

make cupcakes for my eighteenth birthday.

By then I'd realized

my dad was flaky, inconsistent.

I didn't expect him to keep his promise.

"I don't care," I told myself, and

planned to leave the moment I turned eighteen.

But... that day he actually showed up.

Maybe becoming an adult was

important enough for him to care.

Or maybe he just

didn't have anything better to do that day.

Whatever, it was too late anyway.

And so we baked cupcakes

a tense silence between us as we mixed the batter

and put it in the oven.

Before we could ice them, though,

I broke the silence.

"Why weren't you there?

All those times I hoped and hoped,

and I was disappointed."

My dad didn't answer.

I didn't expect him to.

Dropping the icing, I left

and now I'm okay.

...Right?

I stop

and change direction.

There's somewhere I need to go

there's something I need to do.

~~~

Pancakes

I walk up to the door and

hesitantly knock.

I stand there wth my hands in my pockets

waiting nervously.

Suddenly,

he answers.

My Dad stands there in awe.

A tear rolls down his face.

"I- I- I'm so sorry for what I put you through."

Both lock their arms around eachother.

"I missed you Dad."

"I missed you too."

We sat at the table for hours.

Talking,

laughing,

and apologising.

It was like all of the memories blended into one.

Except.

It wasn't sad or painful.

It was whole and joyful.

All sorts of feelings flooded my soul.

Some sad for all of the times I missed out on.

Some happy for this great reunion.

It was a fresh start.

"It's Saturday you know." He says.

"How about we make some pancakes?"


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User avatar
38 Reviews


Points: 811
Reviews: 38

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Wed Apr 07, 2021 12:42 pm
NivedaJames22 wrote a review...



Hey!

I guess I could go on and on about this poem and I would if I had the time, but I've got some work to do after this. So Imma make it quick.

When I read the first part of Pancakes, I didn't think that any food-based emotional poem could ever be so touching. I was wrong.

I especially loved this part:

I run into my bedroom and shut everything.

My door.

My emotions.

But most of all.

I shut down myself.

On the whole, I loved your poem, and I can't wait to read more of your work.

Keep writing.




MapleWay says...


Thank you! Means a lot!



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14 Reviews


Points: 227
Reviews: 14

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Wed Apr 07, 2021 12:24 am
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WishIHadASword wrote a review...



I'm not too great at reviews, but I'm going to formulate my thoughts the best I can manage!

This poem was so adorably heartfelt and special! I could practically feel the emotions of the characters myself, and it was amazing to see the story of this character progress! I felt for them as their father disappointed them time and time again.

My favorite part of the whole poem was the very end when they reunited and fixed everything up. The father apologized and the child (or I guess adult, now) said they missed him. It was so emotional and I loved every word of it!

All in all, this poem told an amazing story. You're very talented when it comes to writing the character's emotions, and I love all of the little scenes we got to see. I enjoyed this very much, keep writing!




MapleWay says...


Thanks for the kind review! Me and @Spearmint worked hard on it! :)





It definitely payed off!



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79 Reviews


Points: 16
Reviews: 79

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Wed Apr 07, 2021 12:04 am
MapleWay says...



Here is part 1! :D





You wanna be a writer? You don't know how or when? Find a quiet place, use a humble pen.
— Paul Simon