Dewdrops

Hey, Zekcede here!

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This was so good!!

It deserves literary spotlight and I'm really happy that you received it. It's a very good poem and it's cool that you guys collabbed on it. I've read a few others of you guys' posts, and I can tell you've both improved individually, and together!

Now, onto the review part :p .

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It is suggested that seeing the dewdrops is something that transpires frequently, as if the narrator has witnessed this before and still such beautiful words are used to describe what the narrator sees and hears.

I can tell it's something you think about when writing your pieces, things like what the reader hears, sees, smells, touches, or even tastes . . . including as many of these details in any work settle a reader in the writing itself, which is an amazing accomplishment.

Sensual writing is essential for all works, and this is no exemption. There are various things to see and hear in this piece of poetry. Sensual writing often gives the reader an almost real feel for what has been written, and while you have a few of the senses expressed in marvelous and concise detail, have you ever thought of developing it? Perhaps by including more senses? Sensory poems are extraordinarily beautiful, and from what I've seen of your other work, you're good at it! A few of the senses that could be included are specifically touch and smell. Touch can be used not only physically touching things but also saying things like "the air felt frigid" because then you incorporate the element of 'touch' into an otherwise simple sentence like "the air was frigid." The minor differences build-up and you end up with beautiful poetry. An example of this would be MapleWay's poem "The Passing," and ForeverYoung229's poem "importance of tears"

Other than expanding on the senses, I think that this work was impressive, and I think it would be cool to make something of a part two of sorts, where the narrator comes out one morning not to see dew, but rather ends up seeing frost! It would be that kind of melancholy and sudden surprise when you don't get what you expect, and I think your writing style would be perfect for it!

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P.S. I'm proud of you two for getting the literary spotlight, that's awesome. )

-Z

This was a nice and refreshing piece of work to read. Even from the first two lines:

"Woken up by the sunrise,
I saw the same."

it is implied that viewing the dewdrops is something that occurs often, as if the narrator has seen this before and still such fantastic words are used to describe what the narrator sees and hears.

Sensual writing is important for all kinds of works, and this is no exception. There are many things to see and hear in this piece of poetry. Sensual writing often gives the reader an almost real feel for what has been written, and while you definitely have 2 of the 5 senses described in wonderful and short detail, have you ever thought of expanding it perhaps by including more senses? Or perhaps telling the same story but with different senses.

You absolutely do not have to, but it could be something to think about when working on your next piece! What the reader hears, sees, smells, touches, or even tastes.....including as many of these details in any work really puts a reader in the writing itself, which is an amazing accomplishment.

That being said, I'm not saying your poem is bad in any sense! It's still very visceral in a calming manner, and is detailed and sensual despite using so few words in such short lines. Well done! Continue writing poetry, you're quite good at it!

I love the imagery in this poem and the delicate feeling of dewdrops that you have represented in your writing. The line

Shaking the deep morning crystals

Like dimond windchimes.

I saw the same.

Leaves covered

Of the morning.

Dampining the ground.

Big thanks to @foreveryoung for helping me with this poem!