Setting: A dark, forbidding tower hidden in an abandoned mall
VEXICAL (VEX) LIBURTIGIBBEN
Mwah hah ha! Those silly humans will never see it coming. (rubs hands, stirs a large, spiky cauldron) Brother, your idea is genius! We shall bake these super sugary sugar cookies and those humans, being the fools they are, will surely eat them. And then we'll be able to take over the world! Mwah ha hah ha! (continues cackling with delight)
Yes, yes! They won't see it coming! They will be so hung over on sugar they won't care what we do! (Begins to cackle in excitement) We simply need to find a way to plant these cookies into about fifty percent of the population in each state! Vex! Have any ideas?
(strokes chin thoughtfully) I believe humans have these strange events called... bake sales. From the little I've heard from their "newspaper" things, some of the humans make food and the others line up to buy it. Ridiculous, is what I think! Why wait in line when you can just send your evil minions to steal everything before the bake sale starts? (sniffs haughtily) But, Surge, I believe they may be an effective way to get the humans to eat our cookies...
BAKE SALES? What a silly name! But still... The ideas is marvelous! (Cackles insanely) But what should we call it? Hmmmmm. How about... A Totally Not Evil Bakesale! Oh yes it's perfect! People are so gullible that they will believe us without a doubt! But I feel our looks could use a little work. (Looks down at their current evil outfits) Minions! I need you to make two frie- frie- friendly looking suits. (Shivers in disgust) I know it's disgusting but it's the only way! We should also give out each cookie for free! This way each and every human will have no choice but to eat them!
(grins at Surge) Yes, that sounds absolutely perfect! No one can resist free cookies! (rubs hands together) Now our plans are nearly complete... but this cauldronful of cookie batter isn't going to bake itself. Minions! Come here and finish up these cookies. And, eh, give the cauldron a new coat of paint while you're at it. The dreadful pink is starting to show. (mutters) We never should've stolen from a toy store. (raises voice) Anyways, minions, to work!
A few weeks later...
FINALLY! The preparations are complete! (Smiles grimly in excitement) We have successfully baked all of the cookies needed. (He looked at the hundreds of semi-trucks filled to the brim with the sugar filled cookies, each and every one colored in pinks and blues.) Now all we need to do is go over the game plan! Vex! Are all two hundred cookie bake sales ready?
(salutes) Yes sir! The minions have printed all the banners and stolen enough tables for all the bake sales! Now all that's left is to conquer America! (laughs evilly)
Great! Have you found out where the president currently is so we can give him this special cookie?
(nods) Yes, I believe he's in the White House right now. But what does the special cookie do?
I'm glad you asked! Well this specific cookie is a bit... technical! Basically after he eats it a little technological bug will be placed into his stomach. We will then be able to control his movements and words! (Cackles with insanity) I've even dug around to find out his absolute favorite cookie! If you are wondering, he is a simple man. It's chocolate chip.
Bleh, the man has no taste. (grimaces) But anyways, Surge, that is an excellently evil idea! You were always the genius. (claps his brother on the back) And perhaps once we have control of the president, we can convince the entire country to eat our cookies!
Very true! But anyways it is time to execute it! MINIONS! We're heading to the White House!