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the story of the stars

by LordMomo, starlitmind


the moon shines as the stars laugh,

dripping with silhouettes of golden tears.

the sun stands still, and she sees the chained maiden,

Andromeda, the constellation of her skeleton

watching the people on Earth

and drizzling feathery dreams

full of pastel colors, magic and life.

             

star clusters sprinkle sticky snowflakes

that taste like warm syrup and soft love

giving fish the strength to swim upstream.

Corvus stares from above, hungry for a meal,

but the stars on their scales blind him.

currents run, washing worries away,

to where the galaxy will guard them.

            

but smoke rises from the ground, twisting

the stars and sun into bullets that rain down

to the cities, becoming dirt and grime

as the sky cries out for her children that she lost

to the evil-

the Evil that we made.


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37 Reviews


Points: 351
Reviews: 37

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Mon Dec 07, 2020 10:39 pm
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hannah0528 wrote a review...



Hi! Hannah here for a quick review. I loved this! It was so good. I have read a lot of descriptive poems, but this is the best of the best! There were a couple of adjectives in each line that went along with the poem. I liked the last stanza the most.

but smoke rises from the ground, twisting

the stars and sun into bullets that rain down

to the cities, becoming dirt and grime

as the sky cries out for her children that she lost

to the evil-

the Evil that we made." because I feel like that pretty much descries our life right now, and I agree. We have made a lot of evil. Anyway, that is all for today! This wasn't the best review I ever wrote but I was in a hurry. Have a good day, merry Christmas, and keep writing!


Hannah




LordMomo says...


Thank you!



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27 Reviews


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Sun Nov 29, 2020 9:20 am
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rida says...



Hi! I loved this poem, especially the imagery. I love how it shows the beauty of space and the stars. I loved the last stanza. This poem is like really nice.




LordMomo says...


Thank you!



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145 Reviews


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Reviews: 145

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Fri Nov 27, 2020 4:24 am
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Thisislegacy wrote a review...



Legacy here for a review y'all.

I love all the imagery with the solar entities. I also love how its showing all the beauty of outer space and comparing it to the beauty here on our earth. I don't understand why the stars would be laughing though?

The idea that humanity as a whole (there are some good people) but that humanity is the one that is causing all this beauty around us to turn into devastation is a great clash to how y'all were describing before.

Y'all did a great job with the stanza breaks and overall this was very easy for me to read. The formatting was very inviting and simple (simple is good in the way I am using).

Legacy out.




LordMomo says...


Thanks for the review!



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63 Reviews


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Thu Nov 26, 2020 6:53 pm
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NastyMajesty wrote a review...



Hello @LordMomo and @starlitmind! NastyMajesty poppin' in here for a quick little review :3
Woah. This poem is just so... w o a h. The first stanza was so descriptive and elegant! I like how you used constellations throughout the poem and gave them some great personification. The last stanza of the poem really hit hard especially these lines:

as the sky cries out for her children that she lost

to the evil-

the Evil that we made.
DANG though! Sorry sky. The name of the poem really clicks into the rest of this as it really is the story of the stars. Overall, amazing job! Keep it up and keep writing! and happy thanksgiving if you celebrate (:
<3:D




LordMomo says...


Thanks for the review! :D Happy Thanksgiving to you too!




The heavens laugh with you in your jubilee; my heart is at your festival.
— William Shakespeare