Small birds chirping
in the backyard.
Somebody left a wooden comb
on the last step.
The sun outlined
its smooth handle.
.
It lived in a house
that overlooked
browning grass
and in the distance
long reed stalks,
a silent lake,
barely visible.
.
A thick tree trunk
from its branch dangled
a swing meant for one.
.
That too was made of wood,
like the comb
which could not be seen,
it was the same warm chestnut
as the worn steps
where people had to
know it was there
to know it was there.
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139,529 Literary Works • 672,599 Reviews
Hello Liminoodle!
Happy to see a poem of yours in the publishing center, and happy to get a chance to interact a little more with your napo poetry. (I'm trying to comment on all the poems posted in the first half of June).
I like that on one hand this poem feels very pastoral - sort of meditative on nature, but interestingly instead of the subject being a piece of nature the subject is a comb - something seemingly insignificant but yet is elevated by being compared to the tree and the steps and the reed stalks. It felt a little bit to me like nature-log notes too, how the thoughts kind of ebb and flow creating more of a picture than a narrative.
I particularly liked the closing couplet, something very contemplative to that that felt like it could definitely apply way beyond the poem's subject too and sort of makes me empathize with the comb and objects in some way.
I also agree with Winny on the nostalgic notes, the main take-away feeling I took from the piece was a feeling of time passing and reflection. Interesting and unique poem!
Thanks so much alliyoghurt! I enjoyed reading your take on this piece. I was definitely focusing on the nostalgic vibe, but looking on it now I can see the contemplative feeling coming in very strongly as well.
Hello! Thought I'd leave a review. This was an interesting poem, and I found it a bit fascinating to try to determine the perspective and the intended meaning. It gives a very nostalgic feeling, and I believe something like this is what you were aiming for with this poem. The mention of overgrown plants suggests the setting is abandoned and long-forgotten. Also along this line is the way you mentioned "worn steps" and a swing long left behind. It evoked a sense of quiet, solemn loneliness as I read it. You painted a wonderful picture with words, and I could clearly envision the setting and hear the distant bird chirps or crickets chattering.
I feel like this poem can be initially perceived as from the perspective of a random person who passed by one day, but after pondering it a little further, it almost seems to be written from the perspective of the comb. Once, it was part of someone's life and was useful to them, but it's been left behind and forgotten along with the rest of the house. Then again, perhaps this poem could be interpreted as being from the perspective of the comb's former owner. Maybe they passed by their old house one day and they're contemplating how things have grown over since they've moved on. This perspective seems especially plausible considering the last lines, "where people had to know it was there to know it was there." Anyone else besides the former owner would not have recognized the familiar comb lying on the stairs. But this person identifies it easily because it used to be so much a part of their life. Anyway, I kind of like the way I've derived so many possible interpretations. Giving room for the reader's imagination can be a mark of a great poem. Good work all around!
Thanks so much for the review! You're right that I was aiming for nostalgia there and I'm really glad that you mentioned it and that it was conveyed successfully. I really enjoyed reading all your interpretations of the poem as well. Thanks again!
And I wonder if a girl with long golden hair overlooking a mirror lake ever used that comb.Maybe she had porcelain dolls.Maybe the girl dreamed with her comb.Who knew? That comb has tested time itself.It is still here to this day.That single comb was so old and is still there.The comb has an untold story.I hope that you have a lovely day/night.