Young Writers Society

Hey Lim, I really enjoy this poem's vibe - it's winding through different imagery and takes an interesting perspective on the "carpe diem" theme that's quite a bit more developed I think than people usually use it - the fact that the flowers are in a maze, and the sun is dying sort of hints at the intangibility of what is being seized. And yet the last three lines "I would drink with my eyes / and not waste / a single drop" makes it seem like the speaker is still satisfied with how they have worked to seize the day. The only aspect that is a little confusing to me is what the fortune that the "they" was talking about in the first stanza - > is it the day itself? or time? or wealth? or something to be determined by the reader? It seems like to me that the flowers are sort of a metaphor for whatever the "fortune" is and that the message might be that the things that are worth seizing are not easy to keep, and should be taken and kept and enjoyed whole-heartedly.

There seems to be a lot of room for different interpretations here so I'm curious what your intention / or personal interpretation of the poem would be! I also think the formatting and nice background is just perfect for the poem - the sunset vibes fit really nicely with the message of the poem and I think the formatting enhances rather than distracts from the written content.

Thank you for sharing! Let me know if you wanted feedback on anything specifically that I missed!

alliyah

This poem was super beautiful! I often find there isn't much appreciation for sunsets.

I like how the black text stands out from the sunset background. The contrast makes it super easy to read! Did you make that background yourself? It's super pretty!

This poem has a really good vibe! Its super bright, but there is a dark edge to it.

I love how you use verbs in unconventional ways such as "drink with my eyes." That's a great skill to have

Good job!

Hey! This is just a review from your friendly neighborhood tired nineteen year old. Let's get started, shall we?
First of all, I love the aesthetic of this poem - I can't even properly describe how it makes me feel besides like..it reminds me of something I would read in a Toni Morisson book, or maybe even something written by F. Scott Fitzgerald. It just gives me such an old, vintage feeling. I love it so much.
I think the stanza that perfectly encapsulates this feeling is this one:

"They told me: any further fortune bestowed

would be wasted

on me who has so much."

I don't know if this was meant to be a poem about losing money, or friends, or just a zest for life, but it's beautiful, nonetheless. I wish I could read this again for the first time.

-moon.