Young Writers Society

Hi, my name is Kz, I also write poetry. So, to dive in.
Author's questions:

1. How do you think the title relates to the poem?

So, the title of a poem, is a very important part of the poem. And I think that you shows very well. And the reason that I think this, is because I think that the title was probably based on the choice that the dog has to make. This seems obvious, which is why I'm not sure if I'm correct. Let me know.

2. Any awkward lines or images?

Not that I can think of. However, I think that "the crickets cry, unable to sleep for the sound of paws padding restlessly" is a very interesting line.

And as always, my favorite part, telling you what part of the poem caught my eye. Which for this masterpiece, will have to be,

"nothing but dew evaporated

a long time ago, grass that is

fresh but utterly uninteresting."

Thanks for sharing your amazing poem! Have a great morning/mid-day/afternoon/ or night!

-Kz.

Hi! To answer your questions, I’d like to start off with the fact that I do not understand quite why the title could relate to the poem. Perhaps the shortness and subtleness of this poem that goes through the events of a moment of this dog’s day. I’mmm not sure! But I’m also not the best with poems, unfortunately, so it might just be me!

Something that I could say would be a bit awkward is lines 6-7,

“Smells nothing but dew evaporated
a long time ago, grass that is”

These two lines at least to me don’t make the most sense together, I think they probably need a bit more elaboration on them. Although that might just be the way you describe the dog’s senses, but I have no idea! But the rest of the poem really isn’t something I find awkward. I think it’s just telling a simple story of a dog’s day, it has a very refreshing vibe to it to me.

Hi Sunflower here for a quick (and positive) review!

So before I get into my own personal opinions about your poem I'm first going to answer your questions.

Number 1. I personally don't understand the title choices for a poem such as this. This is mainly due to the fact it feels as if the only choices being made are the directions the dog turns. Of course something perfectly well could have flown over my head for I do have a tendency for being a bit oblivious at times. For a better title I think something like "The maze" or "A dog's senses" or something else of the sort would work a little bit better.

Number 2. I don't really think any of the imagery or lines are in particular necessarily awkward, though I do feel as if the poem has a bit of an odd flow though I think that's due to where the lines begin and end such as the first sentence of the poem ending in the second line. Other than that though I really have no complaints!

The poem itself holds a great amount of intrigue and a slight mystique to it that I quite enjoy actually! It makes me question where this dog came from what it is looking for and why. Is it something of great importance or is it nothing but the dog's toy? The poem is short and sweet and can easily make you think which I quite enjoyed. I think your structuring of poems (where to put the lines) could use a tad of work, but other than that I like it!

Thank you for reading my review, you're a dang trooper. I hope you have a fantastic day or night, bye!

P.S. There was indeed a dog lol ; )