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Letter Between Journeys

by Liminality


Text:

Dear girl, as I have told you

in the last letter I sent you,

there are many visions in the Library of Intangible Feelings,

stored above thick branches, under vast and cavernous ceilings.

.

You could pore over them for hours,

finish a pot of coffee, sweets and sours,

stack plates beside you on the long table stretching

into the shadows like a hungry fledgling.

.

These are the ones I like:

flowers growing from weeds;

a butterfly living a half-day longer, sunset on its golden wing,

as it slips through the breezes, and coaxes them to sing.

.

If you can remember them,

it would make me pleased.

Yours sincerely – one lost in his wanderings,

longing for cake and idle ponderings.


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Sun Dec 18, 2022 1:25 am
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FireEyes wrote a review...



Heya Lim! Incoming review!

I like this one, its sweet yet somber. I also really like the rhyming you did, i had to kind of read it out loud to get it, so kinda subtle. With that, lets get on with the review!

I'll start with critique. Oh It appears I don't really have anything. Maybe with this line

a butterfly living a half-day longer, sunset on its golden wing,
You could split them up into different "sentences" if you will. It all feels somewhat like a run on sentence with the inclusion of the colon, semicolon, and the commas.

But that's really all I have for critique, your poem was very well written. Let me praise your work! It really conveys the idea of a place that doesn't exist. An old folk tail about the magic woods or a place you go in a dream. And the loss of a place that doesn't exist is very disheartening somehow. Perhaps from the idea that this was your place that you conjured up and got lost in.

As I said before in the beginning, I love the rhyming. I'm going to be honest, when I read poems with consistent, almost sing-songy rhyming throughout, I cringe so hard. But when I found out you were rhyming in the second stanza, I felt like i discovered something. the cleverness of rhyming fledgling and stretching made it feel so much more mature. Half-rhymes will do that, and we have to thank Lin Manuel Miranda for influencing a whole generation to using half-rhymes. But your use really makes me happy ^^.

there are many visions in the Library of Intangible Feelings,

stored above thick branches, under vast and cavernous ceilings.
Mmmm this makes me think of a cozy cottage, much bigger on the inside than the outside, with a huge wall bookshelf. That's one of the places imaginary I would go to and write about. It's funny how imaginary places still exist in out minds. We can go there whenever. Your poem is really making me think, Lim!

But that's all I have for today. I hope you enjoyed and found some of it useful! Again, I really really liked it, so keep on writing my friend. Have a great day and I'll see you next time. Anyway byeeeeeeeeeeee <3




Liminality says...


Thanks for the review FireEyes! I agree the line you pointed out feels a bit out of place! Unlike some of the previous long lines it's really just a long image in a list, so I might consider avoiding stuff like that in the future. I enjoyed reading your interpretation of the place as being wholly imaginary. Thanks again!



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Fri Dec 16, 2022 11:43 pm
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PoetryMisfit wrote a review...



Hi Liminality.

I don’t normally review poems because it’s not my strong suit but I was intrigued by yours.

The text design of your poem is very eye-catching and gives the impression that it’s hand-written, fitting the format of it being a letter.

Your poem carries a tone of intimacy, like that of a friend writing to another, excited to divulge his experiences in the Library of Intangible Feelings.

Your language is quite whimsical, brought to life by vivid imagery like that in the second and third stanzas.

Your poem is mystical and imaginative, conjuring a place I would love to explore. The idea of a library holding intangible feelings is interesting, especially since feelings by nature are intangible. This idea is further explained in the third stanza, where the small moments described can provoke feelings that may be hard to describe.

The library seems to catalog inconsequential moments easily missed by the untrained eye. This portrays the beauty hidden in the minutiae of life; the secrets we can unveil if we only open our minds to them. This is a profound message I also see encompassed in Studio Ghibli films, namely Spirited Away.

The title of your poem suggests that this place is but one of many destinations the speaker visits, hinting at a fantastical world where magical libraries like this exist. The poem provides a glimpse into this world through the library, subtle enough that it ignites the reader’s imagination to look beyond the library’s walls.

Also, Wan Shi Tong’s Spirit Library from Avatar: the Last Airbender is what comes to mind when I visualize the Library of Intangible Feelings. I imagine darkened halls overgrown with ivy and tree roots spread along dusty floors. See what I mean about igniting imagination?

Thanks for sharing!
Poetry Misfit




Liminality says...


Thanks so much for the review! I enjoyed reading your interpretations. I'm really glad the poem sparked your imagination, because that's definitely what I was aiming for with this one. Thanks again!




Nothing says criminal activity like strong bones. ;)
— Magebird