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Haiku Sequence [Library, Painted stone and Bougainvillea]

by Liminality


Aged smell from old books,

the library window holds

supple herbs sprouting.

.

Over painted stone

arch the green stems, big shadows

fanned out – tropic leaves.

.

Bougainvillea shakes,

white-thread stigmata, pink petals,

flowers in flowers.

---

Please read these as three haiku, and not three stanzas of the same poem. :]


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136 Reviews


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Fri Jan 21, 2022 5:35 pm
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Anma wrote a review...



Hi liminality!

Anma here with a review! X3

I am interested.. In what the first poem means? The library in which herbs grow? Or is it.. a book in which the herbs are defined? The second one it comes out as an oddly shape? A jungle perhaps? The third one where flowers bloom. You have showed so much in just a few words! I would change nothing with these, but if you ever have the time, re write them! See what will happen and let your mind wander.

With lots of love
Anma <3




Liminality says...


Thanks for the review! In that first haiku I'd meant to show a library with a window, and show that on the windowsill there were potted herbs growing, but yeah, it doesn't come across very well ^^'. Could you expand on what you mean by 'oddly shape'?



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Tue Jan 18, 2022 12:01 pm
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Rook wrote a review...



Hello!
I think these are some very nice haiku. I like how all of them can be pondered on for a while. The first one contrasting the oldness of the books with the newness of the plants. and this takes into account the way that books are made from plants. the window also shows a sort of transparency between the two stages and it lets light into the poem in a really nice way. the second haiku contrasts the man-made painted stone with the natural fan shaped leaves that I imagine blow in a warm tropical wind as opposed to the stones stoic coldness. the third poem shows the way that things hold themselves. it's like the whole thing about onions and layers. I had to look up the flower and the flower part that you referenced in this haiku but once I found a good picture of it I understood the meaning in the poem. it's amazing how things can hold themselves in this way and it made me think of other things that do the same, like water or seeds.

Only real error i noticed was the second line in the third haiku. i think it has an extra syllable. easily fixed by changing stigmatas to stigmas, which is the more common term for that anyway I think (I know stigmata as the wounds of christ, and stigmas as flower bits which is why i had to look it up!)
beyond that, the only other things I have are little quibbles about punctuation but i don't think I could do any better. haiku punctuation is hard.
hope this helps! Keep writing!




Liminality says...


Yep I think stigmata might be an alternate pluralisation for stigma? But it probably works better as stigmas here to avoid the confusion with other meanings (and fitting the syllable count is a neat bonus!). Thanks for the review! I like your observation on books being made of plants in particular - I hadn't thought of that when writing.



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Tue Jan 18, 2022 11:50 am
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naazmemonn wrote a review...



beautiful haikus. i really liked the second one. but the third one has got to be my favorite
although, i couldnt really figure out by what you meant by the third line in the first one. you had a nice rhythm going for the first two lines but maybe try replacing the reference to herbs with something more appealing to fresh paper and the soothing smell of library books. say something like fresh grass rather than herbs or the smell of wet mud. the word "supple' gives the piece a very elegant touch; one you could use with the adjectives mentioned above




Liminality says...


Thanks for the review! Hmm yeah, originally I was thinking about the herbs being kept in pots on the windowsill of the library, though I guess things like the windowsill and the pots should be stated explictly in the haiku to make that connection. Thanks again!




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