There on the hard blue sea
the little brown boat was carrying me
and I was bringing the little brown boat
across the hard path of the sea.
.
Maybe the boat was singing
its salty rickety song,
and maybe my ears were ringing
but I tried to sing along.
.
We sailed the path of the hard blue sea
and the little brown boat was carrying me.
I was pulling on the oars of the little brown boat
far away and over the sea.
~
A/N: Questions for you, dear reader!
1. Who would you read this to/with, and when? (If at all!)
2. What mood does this poem put you in?
3. The boat you're imagining - what does it look like?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Hello! Wallflower here with a quick review
I absolutely loved this poem!! This poem was so lovely and simple and comforting, and the personification of the boat, the imagery of just you and the boat alone on a vast sea - it's absolutely lovely. I especially loved the second stanza - it really just Made the poem for me, especially this line:
Absolutely gorgeous!! This combo of personification and imagery is so beautiful. I've never heard a song described as "salty" or "rickety". I think if I put this stanza in my mouth it would taste very good.
Also, questions!
1. I would read this to myself, probably, most of all. I often feel overwhelmed (like a person lost at sea) and this poem makes this terrifying hugeness comforting.
2. This poem put me in a calm and even reverent mood. I wanted to be there with them at sea.
3. A very simple boat, almost just a lifeboat (like the ones in Titanic). Small, just me and a boat and maybe some food provisions so I don't die.
Overall, this poem was absolutely lovely and I have no critiques! Have a lovely day
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I'm so glad to find out that you find the poem comforting - that's a big win, I think
And oh, a lifeboat is an interesting interpretation - I like that image. Thanks so much for the feedback!
Hi Lim,
First off Lim my impressions are I really love pieces of your work that you putted out Lim and i also have a fav line that i enjoy of reading Lim is There on the hard blue sea
the little brown boat was carrying me
and I was bringing the little brown boat
across the hard path of the sea.
.
Maybe the boat was singing
its salty rickety song,
and maybe my ears were ringing
but I tried to sing along. Lim this part of the poem was just incredible.
My Compliment Lim is that I really had enjoyed your poems that you were putting out and I hope i see more work put out cause me i really enjoy some people poetry.
Good Wishes Writing Lim
Thanks for the review, Jay! Looks like you enjoyed the first two stanzas of the poem. Was there a reason why? c:
Hey there! Lost here with a review!
First of all, that's a good poem, I liked it!
Very simple yet fun, good rhyming along with good poetry sense. I really liked the rhyming scheme and the poetry format you used here. The first and last stanza matches really well
"Maybe the boat was singing
its salty rickety song,
and maybe my ears were ringing
but I tried to sing along."
I really liked these lines specifically. Your way of describing the "song of the boat" was really amusing and fun!
And lastly, let me answer your questions XD
1) I would read this to a small child. Uh, maybe my 6 year old cousin?
2) This poem puts me in kind of a playful, childish mood.
3)It's a normal small brown boat. Like the wooden ones you see in cartoons and stuff XD
Anyways, really good work and neatly done! A solid 8/10
Keep up with your writing!
Good wishes! <3 ^_^
Thanks for the review, LostWriter! I enjoyed reading your thoughts and impressions. I was going for a kind of playful mood there with the rhythm, so I'm happy that came across
Thanks again!
If I had to read this to someone,I would read it to my younger cousins,so that they can say they had an interesting poem read to them when they were younger.This poem makes me feel nostalgic for nursery rhymes.The boat I’m imagining looks like a little brown and wooden sailboat.I hope that you have a fantastic and cool day and night.
Thanks for the review! Ah, a sailboat sounds interesting - I hadn't thought of that when writing