Young Writers Society

Hey Lim! Hope you don't mind I saved reviewing this for RevMo to give me something fun to review!

First off the bat I really love the concept that this poem is written in - because it's really inventive and calls for a lot of whimsy (which seems to be present in a lot of your recent work!) and makes the reader sort of invent a scenario in which they would need these instructions for which is pretty fun.

Word Choice
I really like the voice that the instructions are expressed in - the little asides like "did you see it" and "they are very zesty" and "but we have made do" give a lot of personality to the instructions that give the author / narrator their own voice. The narrator comes across as a sort of tour-guide that is in love with what they're describing; very enthralled by the environment, and also almost magical or otherworldly in how they describe their relationship with the personified and valued environment.

The word choice and phrasing you use paints a beautiful picture of nature that really "comes alive" as its being described and even though the poem is mainly instructive and descriptive it still manages to be active which I think is pretty impressive and makes the piece all the more engaging to have that balance.

I wasn't distracted by any mistakes or inconsistencies so you did a good job editing the piece as always; the only thing wording-wise that I paused at a little bit was I sort of wanted you to use the word "very" again maybe in the last list item after you mention specifically it being a good word to use.

The "cafe" allusions were sparse but interwoven in nicely, but it seemed like the main point was sort of the nature imagery throughout.

Meaning / Mood
The mood I get when reading the poem is being surprised at something unexpected, and gaining a better appreciation for nature from the inventive lens it's described in the poem from. If there's a "meaning" maybe it's "take a second look" or even a sort of eco-poetry take: that we need to appreciate nature more - because it is more magical and interesting and lively than even a typical bustling cafe.

In the final bullet point the narrator expresses a sort of reverence to the tree the cafe is housed in - like a "tree of life" sort of situation - which maybe expresses that the whole cafe is housed around this tree which is essential to it. And we also shouldn't take nature for granted because our whole lives are based in it, even if we are a bit more disconnected than the narrator is to their tree cafe. Perhaps we need to re-discover the "magic" of being connected to nature / finding life from it.

I have to say I also really appreciate the blending of moods that you were able to pull of in this poem of sort of humor (from the funny notes like "leave the sign on the ground" and "don't worry too much about sitting on the toadstools; they don't mind" etc) mixed with this magic / awe / reverence. I don't usually see those two moods blended together and it's a really pleasant feeling to read through / imagine this poem and to experience those two moods at once.

Favorites & Imagery
My favorite two parts are probably the very first bullet point which really sets the mood of the rest of the poem and also introduces this hint of "magic / mystery" with the note "in our tongue. the carved letters settled deep and old" which is great description! and then I also liked the image of the people kissing the tree that was old but seemed young!

Suggestions
I don't really have much I'd change, maybe one slight note is I didn't feel like that second half of the final sentence felt very final, and "soft grasses" seemed like maybe not the strongest image to end on as the grass takes you outside of the tree and throws you back outside of the poem instead of lingering in it. While the first bullet point made the rest of the list feel almost narrative, the second half of the final bullet point felt more of a list than the end of that narrative. I may have been missing some sort of symbolism in that final line though!

Altogether a really fun / imaginative poem that is totally different than anything I've read before! Thanks for sharing it; it was a sweet little moment to read it.

Let me know if you had any questions about my review or interpretation etc!

~ alliyah

Hey there! Plume here, with a review!!

Ooh, a good old list poem!! And quite delightful too, I might add!! Right away, I was drawn in. I love the juxtaposition of the title with the actual content as well; I normally think of instructions as bland, straightforward things, but you've managed to create some that are a true work of art!! Well done!!

You really nailed the flow of this one. The variation in sentence length and the way you play with sentence structure make the poem feel like a tree branch swaying. I loved the contrast that's peppered through as well—you've got these terse, imperative sentences like "walk under the lichen curtain" and "follow it to the menu stand" combined with other more flowery fragments, and it gives the poem a very familiar voice, like the narrator is recounting their own memories and giving the reader insider info about this café, in a way. Throughout, there's this sense of nativeness on the part of the speaker that makes the poem feel extra cozy and comforting.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention your stupendous imagery as well. That description of the sunbeam is so cheery and delightful, and so is the one about the toadstools. It really makes the poem feel right out of a fairy tale or some sort of cute fantasy RPG. Really nice work; every word feels purposeful and only helps to further the magical environment you created within this poem.

Specifics

The sign is fine

the ridges intricate under the palm,

Pale brown, seeming young-skinned even in his old age, the slender limbs that weave through the cracks in the cavern, snaking up to the cusp of the outside, quietly bursting into leaf-springs and soft grasses.

The tree cafe seems like a magical place to be.Who wouldn’t want to go there? I would love to be in that environment.I think fairies dine there.It wouldn’t be a big surprise.Everything in there is alive and full of color.This poem expresses it vividly.I can see it from reading it.This was nice.I hope you have a cool day and night.