Hey there! Plume here, with a review!!
Ooh, a good old list poem!! And quite delightful too, I might add!! Right away, I was drawn in. I love the juxtaposition of the title with the actual content as well; I normally think of instructions as bland, straightforward things, but you've managed to create some that are a true work of art!! Well done!!
You really nailed the flow of this one. The variation in sentence length and the way you play with sentence structure make the poem feel like a tree branch swaying. I loved the contrast that's peppered through as well—you've got these terse, imperative sentences like "walk under the lichen curtain" and "follow it to the menu stand" combined with other more flowery fragments, and it gives the poem a very familiar voice, like the narrator is recounting their own memories and giving the reader insider info about this café, in a way. Throughout, there's this sense of nativeness on the part of the speaker that makes the poem feel extra cozy and comforting.
I'd be remiss if I didn't mention your stupendous imagery as well. That description of the sunbeam is so cheery and delightful, and so is the one about the toadstools. It really makes the poem feel right out of a fairy tale or some sort of cute fantasy RPG. Really nice work; every word feels purposeful and only helps to further the magical environment you created within this poem.
Specifics
The sign is fine
Already, I love the little rhyme at the beginning. It helps to set the tone of this poem as whimsical and fun.
the ridges intricate under the palm,
Also loved this bit of soundplay here—'ridges' and 'intricate' complement each other nicely. One thing you were stupendously consistent with throughout is throwing in little bits of soundplay that I think also contributed to the flow of this poem and gave it that distinct poetic quality.
Pale brown, seeming young-skinned even in his old age, the slender limbs that weave through the cracks in the cavern, snaking up to the cusp of the outside, quietly bursting into leaf-springs and soft grasses.
While the imagery in this sentence is fantastic, I did notice that there isn't a true verb in it. I am a believer in tossing grammar conventions out when writing poetry, but I do think that the unconventionalness of it makes me crave something more after it. It doesn't feel finished. I feel like you either need a true verb in there (e. g. changing "that weave" to "weave") or putting a shorter, true sentence after this one, to make it feel final.
Overall: what a lovely poem!! It's so tranquil and magical, and your flow, imagery, and soundplay showcase this truly imaginative tree café. I hope to read more of your poetry soon! Until next time!!
Points: 58850
Reviews: 539
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