Every step you take
musses up dust in dimly-lit attics.
Other people can’t shed light on
the shape of it.
I can.
Curving structures, sickle words are
outlining orbits of termites, reckoning when
night will descend again.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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139,388 Literary Works • 672,542 Reviews
This is really inspirational for people who are struggling to take a step forward, this tells them to take more then 1 step further, it is quite the inspiration for people who want to accept the fact that they may not be able to let go of the past, but they will continue to move further in order to survive the blistering coal underneath they're feet, it may burn but they are willing to take the pain and move on.
It seems to be about understanding someone no one else understands. I like the way this poem was written! It’s like the person being mentioned is the sunlight streaming in the dim attic of the world. Some are blinded, some enjoy the light. The title “Guardian time” could be how the speaker guards the person to protect their light.
So much awaits in the darkened world attic only if one is willing to explore…
I wish you a lovely day/night.
This is cool!
Thanks!
hi! thank you for sharing this writing!
i like the subject and prompt you have going with this, its interesting. you have a skill with describing things! i felt like i could see what you were talking about.
the single line of "I can." hit HARD!!
two things struck me though.. the format of this writing is a bit unusual. at first it looks like its double spaced, then it goes into regular spaced. i think if you kept a constant format, it could enhance your writing. secondly, "sickle words" was very interesting. i'm not sure as to what you meant when you chose "sickle." this is an object, a noun, no? not an adjective? maybe i'm just a wee bit confused! i'd like to see what you had in mind at the moment of writing this.
thank you for sharing!
Thanks for the review! Ah you're right - I didn't check the formatting before I posted so I hadn't realised the lines ended up like that. I guess I'd better go back to using images for formatting purposes! Hmm I suppose I was going for something like a made-up compound noun there, like how you have "sickle cells"? I was just trying to create that effect of the words being curved and continue on "curving structures" I think xD
Thanks again!