
Text:
Underneath red flames
there is a metal cylinder:
opaque, and difficult to read.
.
They rely on it to fry noodles,
to reheat rice,
to burn the clamminess out.
.
But this device is dark and sooty.
And they have lost
the instruction manual.
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Hello!
This is a nice little poem about a stove. It's short and sweet, exactly how I like my poems. It describes a stove top exactly how we percieve it as; a reliable tool to make food. At the end, it mentions that "they have lost the instructuion manual". It's a funny little line to end a sweet poem. Shorter poems are always nice for me, because they give so much or so little information which you have to decipher.
Overall, this is a good poem. Keep up the good work!
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As a reader, I really enjoyed this story. The use of imagery to describe the metal cylinder was effective in creating a sense of mystery and uncertainty. The references to cooking and the lost instruction manual added a relatable and practical element to the story, making it feel grounded in reality. The ending left me wanting to know more about the cylinder and what it represents, and I appreciated the sense of ambiguity and open-endedness that it created. Overall, I thought this was a well-written and engaging piece of writing.
Thanks for the review!
Hi, i'm Lizzy!! It's a pleasure to read your work!
Though this one is quite short, I would love to take the time and appreciate the words of description that you used to describe a gas stove instead of abruptly saying what it is. I love
that kind of stuff for some reason, perhaps that is just me being weird-- but!
Perhaps there could be a bit more to what you're speaking of? Though you speak of a 'gas stove', I feel as if I wouldn't necessarily know what this was about if it didn't have the topic in the title. I don't believe that you wrote this to be a super deep and complicated poem, although I do like the near mystery that this piece entails. It's very short and almost left to thought. I can see you perhaps seeing said 'gas stove' and just getting the idea to write about it. I do think that the ending is a bit abrupt, and would perhaps like to see a little more context added to the topic and have its significance, if any, emphasized? 'Dark and sooty' could bring the assumption that the device is old and maybe has gone unused for some time, especially with the mentioning of the missing instruction manual. To me, it sounds like the gas stove was just kind of..discovered, used and without anything that was with it when it was new. There could be more to it's background, maybe it's just the same thing you've had in your kitchen, and it's aged, maybe there's some kind of important connection or nostalgia you have to it- idk! Like I said earlier, it's probably not that deep, but I just think a lot more into things that I really don't need to.
Anyways! To conclude, I like it! It's short, but up to the point! I just would like to see a little more!
Thanks for the review Lizzy! That is some useful feedback - I'll try to add more context to the gas stove when I revise this poem. Thanks again!