This is what Abe Lincoln sees
as a boy tosses him from the roof of a tower
to see if he dents the sidewalk below.
The top floor, a man alone at his desk, rapping his fingers against the mahogany wood.
“It had to be done,” he murmurs, his eyes pale and blank.
“Someone had to do it…”
A woman standing in front of a flock of listening employees.
“It has to be done,” she says, “Chairman’s orders.”
Gravity sucks the air downwards, out of the room.
A man clearing papers off his desk, swiping them into a hurricane of white froth.
“Damn him,” he seethes, “Damn, damn, damn!”
Air rushes past, a golden glint piercing his eyes. The sound of taxi horns reaches up from below, battering him with noise.
The doorman stands gently to the side, letting the somber procession move past.
A man’s briefcase is neatly stuffed, the grip on it white-knuckled. Step by step it ebbs away,
until his former life just hangs from his fingertips.
The bleak sidewalk, chipping into the concrete and bouncing to the gutter.
A hand scoops him up and hurls him into the fountain,
where he sinks with all the other glittering dreams.
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140,653 Literary Works • 673,580 Reviews
Radrook here a once again to offer some suggestions.
Apologies if i offend. It isn’t my intention.
Please feel full free to cast aside all things you deem not helpful.
But if you do be sure its true by being extra careful.
That having been said
I really enjoyed reading this poem and striving to unravel its meaning. The tempo was excellent. The mood of futility very well conveyed. The imagery very vivid. You are obviously a very skilled writer with a good ability in visual imagery and their use as symbols of concepts.
Of course, as reader of poetry I am required to delve on the reasons why such imagery was specifically chosen. The following is my personal interpretation of how the poem might be understood.
But first a brief summary
We have what I understood to be a figurine of Abraham Lincoln being thrown off the top of a tower by a boy. Then what this figurine sees in the offices it passes on the way down is described. A man rationalizing a serious decision while tapping his fingers on a desk. A woman speaking of something which had to be done because it was ordered by a chairman. A frustrated man swiping papers from his desk. The glow of golden lights and sounds of taxi horns. A doorman standing gently aside and a man with a death grip on his briefcase but gradually losing his grip until his former life ebbs away. A bleak sidewalk. A crashing of the figurine against it. Being scooped up and thrown into a fountain where he sinks with other glittering dreams.
The first impression I got as a reader was that Abraham Lincoln’s political goals or his general goals for the future of a nation were going to be central to this poem. So the need to become familiarized with Abe’s opinions seemed necessary in order to place all the subsequent imagery into its proper context.
As a reader that calls for an investment of time. Otherwise one might just see Lincoln as a man who placed the unity of a nation above every other consideration without regard for liberty of his citizens which is exactly how he described himself by saying that if he could retain slavery and preserve Union he would.
So it was only after the danger of foreign intervention in the Civil war cropped up that he declared it a human-rights issue and not one of indivisibility of a nation. In short, why Abe Lincoln was chosen as a figurine is the key issue. IMHO.
The impression I got from all those people complaining about decisions made by themselves and but other above them was one of frustration of not being in control. As if they felt victims of destiny or circumstances which forced them to violate certain principles they considered sacred.
Even when the figurine is near ground level the pattern continues with the man gripping a briefcase but being forced gradually to release it against his will. The reference to a doorman stepping aside when he probably wished he didn’t need to kowtow to people he might have viewed as unworthy also can be viewed within that context.
Like all those people described on those floors, Lincoln was forced into the actions that he took as president. If asked he would have replied the same way. “It had to be done” The chairman could in his case represent destiny. The flock of people listening to the lady
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Columbia_(name)
could represent the USA citizens who flocked to fight for what they believed was right on behalf of her majesty.
A glint of light in its eye could indicate hope. But below, the events of the future symbolized by blaring horns battering the figurine indicate otherwise.
Finally, he is assassinated [slammed against the concrete and bouncing into th gutter] and a hand scoops up Abe’s figurine
[representing his hopes being dashed and trashed] and tosses it into a fountain where it sinks along with other wishes people have made there. So once again what is desired is described as not being attained and the frustration of a goal is hinted at.
Could it be that the institution of Jim Crow in the South after Lincoln’s assassination is being referred to here? How his supposed dream of a nation in which there would be liberty for all was frustrated or discarded along with other ideals?
Of course this would require that we view Lincoln as being genuinely concerned about the liberation of the slaves instead of using their slavery to ward off European military intervention. But, if the author believed otherwise, of course that imagery might indeed be an attempt at hinting this scenario.
http://www.thegreatfiction.com/2015/01/ ... d-slavery/
Suggestions
....to see if he dents the sidewalk below. [to find out if....]
Looking forward to reading more of your work.
Legacy here for a review.
I definitely agree with @Wriskypump about the personification making this poem strong in that area. I love all the figurative language and your descriptions of the people, but I don't see a deeper meaning here yet about why it is important that the boy threw the penny off of the building. I didn't feel like it wasn't very important to read this poem because it didn't make me feel anything yet (which can easily be improved with added meaning about the penny or the people). I do love your last two lines about how he was thrown into the fountain with the other coins which represent other people making wishes on them.
I hope I wasn't harsh with this critique and I can't wait to read this again with more meaning. Keep writing and Legacy out.
Well all the personification makes this very much leap off the page. However, the meaning is lost on me. I suppose maybe it has something to do with finances, and the tragic feeling associated with losing it; or perhaps having to sacrifice dreams behind the demands of feeling desperation to make enough money to pay the bills or keep the business running?