Constellated

Salutations!

*chuckles in equal parts amusement and revulsion (a bit strong, but used for lack of a better word)* With the very first line, I figured this was going to be an astral play on words of "constipation". I read with curiosity and anticipation, and yeah, I haven't stopped grimacing since the last two lines. Best of all, you can still feign innocence and insist on having no idea what I'm talking about.


I'd usually start with the technical aspects and then move on to the interpretation of the poem, but here, I feel like the latter is too important to delay (one could say that of poems in general, but eh - that's why I'm not a poetry mod). So, to start, your mention of the stars' rigidity makes the reader wonder what the speaker means. Once the next stanza is reached and things like God and the universe are described as indigestible, it becomes apparent the speaker is referring to the order and structure of the cosmos, potentially also its purpose in existing, if there even is one. The heart locking the stars in shape seems to support that idea, as it is unwilling to let go of its beliefs, as that would mean having to accept its reality isn't what it once thought.

The meaning of the moonshine is somewhat more obscure. I suppose it could indicate simpler things in life that are easier to admire and appreciate, therefore requiring less reflection to understand. Despite this, the speaker continues to be plagued by their constellation, unable to shake the feelings of dis-ease that come with it.

Finally, in trying to understand the point of everything, to determine whether there is some intelligent design, or whether everything exists by chance and isn't inherently meaningful, the speaker realises they are trying too hard and will not succeed. Eventually, they realise they must view the universe for the beauty that it is, after which all the anxiety and doubt disappears.

Now, the obvious metaphor is slightly more challenging to understand. It was clearly intended to deliver the message in a more humorous way, but it also makes it quite distracting to focus on the intended theme. That's probably what you intended, as it forces the reader to experience discomfort as well. Perhaps you chose to use it because it fittingly describes how clogged it causes the mind to be, and how heavy the burden is. Once the burden falls away, the speaker feels relieved and more satisfied with life. I... both applaud and hate you for making me analyse poetry like this.

I only have a few technical points. What is the goal of having so many dashes? I presume it's to mimic the constellation/constipation, since it completely interrupts the flow and makes even the text feel like it's congested. If this is the case, then marvelously done! They feel like they're sort of used in appropriate places, but also not entirely.

Grammar and spelling are mostly fine. The only error is after the very amusing line of property tax being unfathomable, where the "my" at the start of the sentence isn't capitalised.


I enjoyed your poem! ...I think. It was thought-provoking, but also a smidge unsettling. You've certainly got skill, and I think you put it to good use here. The metaphor was expertly crafted, and the imagery was selected to be simultaneously elegant and... err, off-putting. As good as this poem is, I don't think it's something I'd want to revisit (no offence).

~ Hunter

This was a beautiful poem. There is not really much here to criticize, but I will truly try to help you out. First of all, I really like your title. It draws people towards your poem and makes them wonder what in the world you are talking about.
In your first stanza, I feel like you could add a line. Not that it is needed, but the one I have in mine would help you connect with your reader.
" My doctor says I have constellation.
Stars clustered in rigid forms.
It's just that sometimes things are too- solid.
It takes so much effort to get them through.
IF you are not careful, the same thing will happen to you."
I do realize that it is not really your style to include the reader. But, to me this makes somebody want to read more. Why would they not want this to happen to them? What does this truly mean???
I also feel like you could make this poem longer. Maybe that is selfish of me because my curiosity has been peaked. What is the design you that the speaker is being pushed towards? What started their different way of thinking?
At the end, I noticed there is not a period. I am not sure if this was intentional or not, it I like the way that it keeps the poem open. If an author does not put a definitive end on a work, it leaves the reader to wonder more than they would if it wasn't that way.
I also like how high of a level your writing is. Not using you/you're/your or contractions automatically makes a poem so much more beautiful, especially when it is in this sort of style.
I can see how this would fit into the humor section. If you plan on keeping it there, I would try to make it a bit funnier. Is there way you could mock the doctors? Have they been brainwashed to fit into the mold that the speaker fears?
Anyways, keep writing, keep questioning, keep making beautiful stuff like this. It was wonderful!!!! I plan on taking the time to read even more of your work, I have questioned so much, and I love it. Your cruel sense of teasing your reader has inspired me to snoop deeper. Maybe there are answers to questions from one poem in another......
Wow, I really am done now, for real. Have a good day
- Annie